I had my collection done this morning at 10AM. Not my favourite experience throughout this whole process, but certainly not my worst (hysteroscopy without any pain medication takes the cake)!
First, they attached me to a regular IV drip to hydrate me. Then, a couple of hours later we were in the operating room. I was given Ativan to calm my nerves and relax me as well as Fentanyl for the pain. I will spare you all the details, but let’s just say that more Fentanyl will be requested (demanded) if I have to do this again and next time, I think DH will have to give me something other than his hand to hold because I nearly broke his fingers. Sorry! After this, I went to recovery for an hour or so and then waddled my way to the car. I am still in pain, having trouble getting up from the couch and such, but all in all I am fine. I have started taking all of the other prescribed medications as well: Doxycycline, Medrol, Estrace, and Prometrium. Oh, and lots of Tylenol! So far so good!
In the end, they collected 10 immature eggs and 1 mature egg from my right hand side only. The left ovary was not co-operating as it was hiding behind my uterus. The decision was made that 11 eggs were plenty and the additional punctures (which would have gone through my uterus), pain, and work to get to the left side were not going to be worth it. I was SO happy when I heard this! I was in a lot of pain and cramping like crazy at this point.
I was not told, but as far as I can tell the mature egg has already been fertilized using ICSI (which you can read up on here) and the others are being incubated to hopefully be fertilized tomorrow. The hospital should keep in touch daily to keep us up to date.
Transfer of the best embryo will be done within 2-5 days if all goes well and any remaining embryos will be frozen for future use.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Round 2 (IVM): Step 3 - Collection Scheduled!
Since the last time I posted I have been back and forth to the hospital and pharmacies all over again. I took the 3 days of Repronex as prescribed and returned to the hospital Boxing Day morning for my fourth ultrasound only to find that it hadn’t done very much at all. I was then given 2 more days of injections (totalling 620$ at this point - covered by insurance) and asked to return today for a fifth scan.
And... success! I still have a number of smaller follicles ranging from 6-8mm, but enough larger ones (10mm or larger) that we are going ahead with step 3! I have to take my HCG injection this evening and we return to the hospital 38 hours later for collection. Thursday morning here we come!
So, once again, things did NOT go as smoothly as hoped for but at least we are getting somewhere this time!
And... success! I still have a number of smaller follicles ranging from 6-8mm, but enough larger ones (10mm or larger) that we are going ahead with step 3! I have to take my HCG injection this evening and we return to the hospital 38 hours later for collection. Thursday morning here we come!
So, once again, things did NOT go as smoothly as hoped for but at least we are getting somewhere this time!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Round 2 (IVM): Back to Step 2...
I went for my 3rd ultrasound today expecting things to be growing nicely and ready for the next step by Friday. HA! My follicles have hit a brick wall again and need yet another push. I will be on 150 IU of Repronex starting tomorrow for 3 days and back for another ultrasound on Sunday. This injection is scaring the crap out of me right now because it requires mixing and such but I will get through it. I've come too far now not to!
Body... make up your mind and work properly!!! Hopefully things will straighten out by early next week and we can go back to the next step.
Body... make up your mind and work properly!!! Hopefully things will straighten out by early next week and we can go back to the next step.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Round 2 (IVM): Step 3 - Egg Retrieval / Collection
I have had 2 ultrasounds already, and a third is scheduled for tomorrow and things are going extremely well this time around. So, the time has come! I should be going in for Step 3 within the next few days; probably Christmas Eve or Christmas Day from the looks of things. Must be all those fingers and toes crossed around the world for us!
When I first heard the terms “egg retrieval” and “collection” all I could think of was the Easter Bunny for some reason (I know... my head doesn’t always think right). However, once I found out that the more technical term for the procedure is “follicle aspiration” I became quite content with the term “collection”.
So now that we have settled on a term... what is it?
Inside the ovary, there are numerous fluid filled follicles in which eggs develop – also known as cysts. With ultrasound, each follicle can be seen and measured. Once a follicle reaches around 18mm, it is considered to be a mature follicle – one which will release an egg for fertilization. In my case, I have trouble reaching this size so my eggs will be collected (at around 10-12mm) and further matured in a lab rather than inside my body. This is where IVM begins. When doing IVF, matured eggs are collected.
Where I go for treatment, women are mostly awake for this procedure. An IV drip is given but it does not nearly knock you out from what I have been told. Great if you want to watch, horrible if you cannot handle the pain. A thin needle attached to a catheter with a test tube on the end is passed through the top of the you-know-what (ask me if you don’t) and, with help from ultrasound, is guided to the ovaries. The needle pierces the ovary at each follicle and the fluid is aspirated (drained) through the needle. The egg also detaches from the follicle wall and flows with the fluid into the test tube. It seems to take about a minute or so per follicle from what I understand. It doesn’t sound like long, but when you have PCOS you have multiple follicles which means I could be there for a good half hour or so. Thankfully, DH should be with me this time around!
The fluid with the eggs is passed to the lab where the eggs are taken out and placed in small dishes kept in special incubators to continue growing and maturing. Repronex (hormones) will also be added to help the eggs mature (which cost 340$ for one dose I just found out – yikes!).
If you are interested, you can find some pretty detailed information about this process as well as images here. This is not where I go for treatment but I liked the amount of information they give.
Also, during this time, the lab is supposed to contact you daily to give you a progress report on how your eggs are doing. If all goes well, ICSI should be preformed within a couple of days. More information about ICSI and the following steps to come once I know more about what is going on!
When I first heard the terms “egg retrieval” and “collection” all I could think of was the Easter Bunny for some reason (I know... my head doesn’t always think right). However, once I found out that the more technical term for the procedure is “follicle aspiration” I became quite content with the term “collection”.
So now that we have settled on a term... what is it?
Inside the ovary, there are numerous fluid filled follicles in which eggs develop – also known as cysts. With ultrasound, each follicle can be seen and measured. Once a follicle reaches around 18mm, it is considered to be a mature follicle – one which will release an egg for fertilization. In my case, I have trouble reaching this size so my eggs will be collected (at around 10-12mm) and further matured in a lab rather than inside my body. This is where IVM begins. When doing IVF, matured eggs are collected.
Where I go for treatment, women are mostly awake for this procedure. An IV drip is given but it does not nearly knock you out from what I have been told. Great if you want to watch, horrible if you cannot handle the pain. A thin needle attached to a catheter with a test tube on the end is passed through the top of the you-know-what (ask me if you don’t) and, with help from ultrasound, is guided to the ovaries. The needle pierces the ovary at each follicle and the fluid is aspirated (drained) through the needle. The egg also detaches from the follicle wall and flows with the fluid into the test tube. It seems to take about a minute or so per follicle from what I understand. It doesn’t sound like long, but when you have PCOS you have multiple follicles which means I could be there for a good half hour or so. Thankfully, DH should be with me this time around!
The fluid with the eggs is passed to the lab where the eggs are taken out and placed in small dishes kept in special incubators to continue growing and maturing. Repronex (hormones) will also be added to help the eggs mature (which cost 340$ for one dose I just found out – yikes!).
If you are interested, you can find some pretty detailed information about this process as well as images here. This is not where I go for treatment but I liked the amount of information they give.
Also, during this time, the lab is supposed to contact you daily to give you a progress report on how your eggs are doing. If all goes well, ICSI should be preformed within a couple of days. More information about ICSI and the following steps to come once I know more about what is going on!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Round 2 (IVM): Step 2 and Good To Go!
Well, good things come to those who wait apparently.
I just had my first ultrasound (step 2) for my second attempt of IVM and everything is clear and good to go! No more pesky, random, 20 mm follicles in the way anymore. The medication I took for the last 3 weeks did exactly as it was supposed to and now I am waiting for a call back from the doctor to let me know when I go in for my next ultrasound and to get a better idea of how the steps will play out in the next few weeks.
No more "Bad News 2010"... bring on "Good News 2011"!
I just had my first ultrasound (step 2) for my second attempt of IVM and everything is clear and good to go! No more pesky, random, 20 mm follicles in the way anymore. The medication I took for the last 3 weeks did exactly as it was supposed to and now I am waiting for a call back from the doctor to let me know when I go in for my next ultrasound and to get a better idea of how the steps will play out in the next few weeks.
No more "Bad News 2010"... bring on "Good News 2011"!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Putting Myself On Time Out!
I would love nothing more right now than to hop on a plane, fly to my “home away from home”, rent a place on the beach and just totally cut myself off from the rest of the world if only for a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, though, I can’t at the moment and this just adds to my current frustrations.
Don’t tell DH, but I ADMIT that this time of year always has its way of bringing out the, ahem, “best” in me… but this year things are extra “special” so I am having a bit more of a rough time than I have in the past. Between the usual holiday time stuff, treatment complications, DH travelling so much, and a bunch of other smaller things piling up I am really in need for a time out even if it means I have to stay grounded here at home.
So, that is exactly what I am doing. For the next month or so there is nothing really going on in terms of treatment. Generally, I fill in the gaps between TTC postings with other stuff but this time I am going to take a break. I will post from time to time but much less frequently until the holidays are over most likely. I have a few things in the works but nothing complete and I am having a bit of writer’s block at the moment so there is no end in sight; ironically, also not unusual for me at this time of year. Notice a trend? Anyone want to guess which month of the year I hate most? A candy cane to the first person who figures it out!
Anyhow, back to reality… backing off the blog for a bit… and now back to work!
PS. To “Doppler Girl”, thank you for giving me one of the best gifts in the world ever . I love you!
Don’t tell DH, but I ADMIT that this time of year always has its way of bringing out the, ahem, “best” in me… but this year things are extra “special” so I am having a bit more of a rough time than I have in the past. Between the usual holiday time stuff, treatment complications, DH travelling so much, and a bunch of other smaller things piling up I am really in need for a time out even if it means I have to stay grounded here at home.
So, that is exactly what I am doing. For the next month or so there is nothing really going on in terms of treatment. Generally, I fill in the gaps between TTC postings with other stuff but this time I am going to take a break. I will post from time to time but much less frequently until the holidays are over most likely. I have a few things in the works but nothing complete and I am having a bit of writer’s block at the moment so there is no end in sight; ironically, also not unusual for me at this time of year. Notice a trend? Anyone want to guess which month of the year I hate most? A candy cane to the first person who figures it out!
Anyhow, back to reality… backing off the blog for a bit… and now back to work!
PS. To “Doppler Girl”, thank you for giving me one of the best gifts in the world ever . I love you!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Are you a Carrot, an Egg or Coffee Bean?
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life, and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it, and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft. She then asked her to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to smell and sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she smelled and tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity- boiling water-but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When trials and adversity knock on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a passive heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or, am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you become better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Like the CARROT, the EGG, OR the COFFEE BEAN?
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft. She then asked her to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to smell and sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she smelled and tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity- boiling water-but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When trials and adversity knock on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a passive heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or, am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you become better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Like the CARROT, the EGG, OR the COFFEE BEAN?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Round 1 (IVM): Cancelled
I had my second ultrasound this morning and there were no changes since Saturday unfortunately. I met with the nurse right after and we set up my “calendar” to try again. This round is not exactly considered as being cancelled seeing as I didn’t get anywhere, so it is essentially postponed. In other words, this will NOT count as one of the rounds covered by the government. Also, instead of going the Provera route again and getting stuck, they are giving me 1 month of Birth Control to do the job. It has been a long time since I have seen these! I just hope they work. Oh, and the good news is... even if AF doesn't arrive when it should I still go in for an ultrasound as though it did.
I am surprisingly not too upset about it either because the timing of things should work out extremely well if everything is smooth. My retrieval should fall over the Christmas holidays (and yes, possibly on Christmas morning if necessary) so I won’t have to worry about missing work and I can stay home and relax. And then, the transfer should come just before or after New Year’s so I will have an extended “vacation” if you want to call it that. Not a bad way to start 2011 I guess.
All in all, I am ok with all of this. It’s too bad it didn’t work out right now but at least it’s because my body woke up for once and not because my condition got worse. Another month won't make that much difference in the greater scheme of things.
I am surprisingly not too upset about it either because the timing of things should work out extremely well if everything is smooth. My retrieval should fall over the Christmas holidays (and yes, possibly on Christmas morning if necessary) so I won’t have to worry about missing work and I can stay home and relax. And then, the transfer should come just before or after New Year’s so I will have an extended “vacation” if you want to call it that. Not a bad way to start 2011 I guess.
All in all, I am ok with all of this. It’s too bad it didn’t work out right now but at least it’s because my body woke up for once and not because my condition got worse. Another month won't make that much difference in the greater scheme of things.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Round 1 (IVM): Step 2 (Expect the Unexpected)
There are times in life that simply do not make sense… and this weekend was one of them. On Saturday I went in to the hospital for a CD3 ultrasound, the first of this cycle. In the past, I have always seen a number of tiny follicles at this point waiting to grow and nothing more which is good for that stage of the cycle. This was also my hope for Saturday, but not the case.
When using both Clomid and Gonal-F in the past, the goal was to reach a follicle of about 18mm in diameter so that I could continue the process in order to get pregnant one way or another. However, this never occurred and all of my follicles simply remained around 8-9mm. We began to think that reaching anything larger was impossible and this is why I changed to IVM. There was no use continuing on with daily injections if they weren’t being effective.
On Saturday, the doctor started to do the ultrasound and the first thing we both see is a large black circle on the screen. He measured it and, sure enough, it’s a 20mm follicle! That’s great, in the sense that it means I am not completely useless and I can actually do it (and on mine own - without medication), but it is HORRIBLE timing. Basically, there is no way to be exactly sure what it is and what it is going to do at this point. It is definitely left over from my last cycle, but is it empty? Is there an egg inside? Will it go away in the next couple of days to give room for the new follicles? These are all questions that remain unanswered for now.
If it is in fact a proper follicle with an egg in it, taking Provera has messed up my “natural cycle” and has now ruled out the possibility of using that egg. And if there is an egg inside that is still giving off estrogen it will cause the other follicles around it to make lesser quality eggs and I need high quality eggs to continue with IVM so we would have to wait until it is gone to try again. The other side to this is that it may be empty and ready to shrink down any minute now. Who knows?
Initially the plan was to cancel the cycle and try again next month. But, after speaking with a nurse, they have decided to give this a second try. They took a blood test to check my estrogen levels and called me back later in the day to schedule another ultrasound for Wednesday (CD7). If all goes well, they will allow me to continue… but if the larger follicle is still there, I will have to start all over again next month!
Expect the unexpected! That is all I can say at this point.
When using both Clomid and Gonal-F in the past, the goal was to reach a follicle of about 18mm in diameter so that I could continue the process in order to get pregnant one way or another. However, this never occurred and all of my follicles simply remained around 8-9mm. We began to think that reaching anything larger was impossible and this is why I changed to IVM. There was no use continuing on with daily injections if they weren’t being effective.
On Saturday, the doctor started to do the ultrasound and the first thing we both see is a large black circle on the screen. He measured it and, sure enough, it’s a 20mm follicle! That’s great, in the sense that it means I am not completely useless and I can actually do it (and on mine own - without medication), but it is HORRIBLE timing. Basically, there is no way to be exactly sure what it is and what it is going to do at this point. It is definitely left over from my last cycle, but is it empty? Is there an egg inside? Will it go away in the next couple of days to give room for the new follicles? These are all questions that remain unanswered for now.
If it is in fact a proper follicle with an egg in it, taking Provera has messed up my “natural cycle” and has now ruled out the possibility of using that egg. And if there is an egg inside that is still giving off estrogen it will cause the other follicles around it to make lesser quality eggs and I need high quality eggs to continue with IVM so we would have to wait until it is gone to try again. The other side to this is that it may be empty and ready to shrink down any minute now. Who knows?
Initially the plan was to cancel the cycle and try again next month. But, after speaking with a nurse, they have decided to give this a second try. They took a blood test to check my estrogen levels and called me back later in the day to schedule another ultrasound for Wednesday (CD7). If all goes well, they will allow me to continue… but if the larger follicle is still there, I will have to start all over again next month!
Expect the unexpected! That is all I can say at this point.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Parsley... To The Rescue?
Yesterday I hunted high and low for solutions to my AF problem. The only solution I found that seemed to have any truth to it was… parsley; plain old boring parsley.
It seems that parsley is a mild emmenagogue (an herb which stimulates menstruation). It is said to work like a charm at bringing on a missed or late period as long as pregnancy is not the cause of the delay. This being said, you should probably avoid drinking this if you are pregnant so that you do not miscarry or abort accidentally (although it seems that some people also use it precisely for this reason – to terminate a pregnancy).
There are a couple ways that parsley can be used; either as a tea (infusion) or as a pessary (you can look that one up for yourself). The tea can be made either from the dried herb (1 tsp per cup of water) or from the fresh herb (1 tbsp chopped per cup of water). Simply bring the water to a boil, then pour the boiling water over the herbs and let it steep for about 20 minutes. Using a mason jar is helpful for this because it keeps the heat in nicely. From the information I found, it looks like 2-4 cups a day are recommended and it seems that many women have successfully seen AF anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days afterwards. The only warnings I found were possible allergies and that individuals with inflammatory kidney problems or diseases should not use these methods. Oh, and it is also a colon cleanser according to some other sites so don’t go overboard either.
So, last night I went home and made the tea right after dinner. I drank all 3 cups (from fresh parsley) in an hour. The tea was light green in color and it didn’t taste bad at all. Kind of like a light mint with a hint of lemon and “green” taste. A tablespoon of sugar helped sweeten it up nicely too. I read that you could add honey or milk as well but I have not tried these yet. And I am not sure what it did but it did something! I have been having some cramps over the last couple of days but nothing like the parsley brought on. I could definitely feel something and it intensified with each cup. As for the pessary… maybe I did, maybe I didn’t!
This morning I had some spotting and called the hospital to make my appointment for an ultrasound on Saturday. Hopefully I will have full blown AF by then! And until I do I will continue drinking my tea because it really isn’t bad at all!
It seems that parsley is a mild emmenagogue (an herb which stimulates menstruation). It is said to work like a charm at bringing on a missed or late period as long as pregnancy is not the cause of the delay. This being said, you should probably avoid drinking this if you are pregnant so that you do not miscarry or abort accidentally (although it seems that some people also use it precisely for this reason – to terminate a pregnancy).
There are a couple ways that parsley can be used; either as a tea (infusion) or as a pessary (you can look that one up for yourself). The tea can be made either from the dried herb (1 tsp per cup of water) or from the fresh herb (1 tbsp chopped per cup of water). Simply bring the water to a boil, then pour the boiling water over the herbs and let it steep for about 20 minutes. Using a mason jar is helpful for this because it keeps the heat in nicely. From the information I found, it looks like 2-4 cups a day are recommended and it seems that many women have successfully seen AF anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days afterwards. The only warnings I found were possible allergies and that individuals with inflammatory kidney problems or diseases should not use these methods. Oh, and it is also a colon cleanser according to some other sites so don’t go overboard either.
So, last night I went home and made the tea right after dinner. I drank all 3 cups (from fresh parsley) in an hour. The tea was light green in color and it didn’t taste bad at all. Kind of like a light mint with a hint of lemon and “green” taste. A tablespoon of sugar helped sweeten it up nicely too. I read that you could add honey or milk as well but I have not tried these yet. And I am not sure what it did but it did something! I have been having some cramps over the last couple of days but nothing like the parsley brought on. I could definitely feel something and it intensified with each cup. As for the pessary… maybe I did, maybe I didn’t!
This morning I had some spotting and called the hospital to make my appointment for an ultrasound on Saturday. Hopefully I will have full blown AF by then! And until I do I will continue drinking my tea because it really isn’t bad at all!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Round 1 (IVM): Step 1 (continued)
It has been 3 days since I finished the Provera... and still no sign of AF! Not one sign! In the past it has always been 3-4 days max that I had to wait. I am not completely freaking out (yet) but I knew this would happen. The one time I really need it to work and it has to go and do this on me. ARGH! I have never been so upset to not get AF. May try some herbal remedies to see if I can get thgins going... can't hurt, right?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Round 1 (IVM): Step 1 Begins! (Steps Included)
“In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.”
Remembrance Day has always been close to my heart as both of my maternal grandparents were in the war and I grew up hearing all of their stories. My grandfather passed away when I was 12 but my grandmother is still alive today and I love her to pieces! I am hoping, though, that Remembrance Day of 2010 gives me even more to remember and be thankful for than ever before because today I officially begin my first attempt at IVM! I did not pick this day specifically, more so because it worked with our schedules, but it feels like a good day.
These are the steps and how things should go in an ideal world. Obviously, when dealing with the human body, anything can happen so this is not at all set in stone!
Step 1: Since I still do not have a regular cycle, I need to take Provera (a synthetic variant of the human hormone progesterone) in order to begin AF. I need to take 2 pills a day for 3-4 days and then I can expect AF shortly after, bringing me to CD1.
Step 2: On CD1 I call the hospital to schedule a couple of ultrasounds in order to monitor the growth of my follicles followed by an injection of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG) to mature the eggs 36-38 hours before egg retrieval.
Step 3: Egg retrieval. This will not be the most pleasant experience from what I have heard but it must be done. Once I know more about it and when I am scheduled I will post about it. The interesting thing about this day is that my pregnancy test will actually occur 16 days after this date. In the “normal” baby-making process, this would be the date of conception basically. At this time I will also begin taking Estrace and Prometrium (a combination of Estrogen and Progesterone to help support the endometrium - lining of the uterus), and Doxycycline and Medrol (an antibiotic and a corticosteroid to help create a favorable environment for implantation of the embryo) in addition to the other medications I am currently taking.
Step 4: My collected eggs are matured further in the lab, fertilized using ICSI, and then monitored for a number of days afterwards before transfer. Not all of the eggs will make it through this process but the hope, obviously, is that at least a couple of them make it through the process strong, healthy, and ready for transfer. The embryos that are not transferred will be frozen for a future attempt so that I can avoid repeating all of the previous steps. This could be a month after (if IVM is unsuccessful) or years later for a sibling.
Step 5: Transfer time! I will go in and meet with the Embryologist to choose the best looking, strongest, and healthiest embryo. They will then perform what is called “assisted hatching” on the chosen embryo and then transfer the embryo to me. And then we wait. I will be placed on a 2 week sick leave in order to give me the best possible chance of success; little activity, no stress, lots of rest, fingers and toes crossed... you get the picture. I will stop taking Doxycycline, and Medrol at this time but stay on everything else.
Step 6: The blood test. If positive, I schedule an ultrasound 2 weeks later to determine the number and position of any pregnancies (yes, twins are still possible) as well as an appointment to see the high risk doctor. If negative, I go back to my fertility doctor and schedule round 2 (using the frozen embryos) as soon as I am ready.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Round 1 (IVM): Begins Tomorrow!
About a month ago I said that I would post more details about my IVM schedule and the medications involved… and the time has come!
I have to say that it feels good to be getting back into the baby-making process! I feel like so much time has passed and been wasted since we last tried this past May, but we are back in the saddle, we overcame the roadblocks, won the battle, and we are now “back to work”! And, bonus, it’s going to be paid for by the government! Yay!
So, to answer a couple of questions, what is this IVM I keep talking about? IVM stands for In-Vitro Maturation. It is a much newer procedure than the In-Vitro Fertilization we have grown up hearing about (the first baby born through IVM was in 1999), but for a variety of reasons it is the best option for me right now.
Basically, immature eggs are collected from me, matured in the lab for 24-48 hours (thus no hormone injections for me, yay!), and then fertilized one by one using Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) and left to mature once more. About 2-5 days after fertilization, one embryo is transferred back into me and then we keep our fingers crossed. Before the government was involved in the process I would have been able to try with 2-3 embryos at one time, but now I am limited. But, at least it is free! They will cover 6 rounds of treatment per pregnancy. I have posted this link before, but once again, you can read more about this and even see some pictures here.
And, as some of you know, I have had a long running joke that I will get pregnant by my doctor while DH is out of the country and some other person (friend, family or nurse) holds my hand. Well, it WAS a joke but it seems like it will also be the case! DH is currently away on business again, and then he will be home only briefly before leaving once more (and hopefully for the last time in 2010). So, if things go as “planned”, he will only be here for my egg retrieval! It still makes me laugh, but don’t get me wrong… it isn’t easy. As a friend said to me a couple of weeks ago (about her own life), “My husband missed pretty much all the big events in my life too because of work! Not to sound insensitive but I am used to it, calloused if you will... Everyone thinks I am so strong too, but it's a facade that you have no choice but to put on, otherwise you crumble”. I couldn’t have said this better myself.
So this is it for now. Tomorrow, I will post all of the steps and medications involved! Fun!
I have to say that it feels good to be getting back into the baby-making process! I feel like so much time has passed and been wasted since we last tried this past May, but we are back in the saddle, we overcame the roadblocks, won the battle, and we are now “back to work”! And, bonus, it’s going to be paid for by the government! Yay!
So, to answer a couple of questions, what is this IVM I keep talking about? IVM stands for In-Vitro Maturation. It is a much newer procedure than the In-Vitro Fertilization we have grown up hearing about (the first baby born through IVM was in 1999), but for a variety of reasons it is the best option for me right now.
Basically, immature eggs are collected from me, matured in the lab for 24-48 hours (thus no hormone injections for me, yay!), and then fertilized one by one using Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) and left to mature once more. About 2-5 days after fertilization, one embryo is transferred back into me and then we keep our fingers crossed. Before the government was involved in the process I would have been able to try with 2-3 embryos at one time, but now I am limited. But, at least it is free! They will cover 6 rounds of treatment per pregnancy. I have posted this link before, but once again, you can read more about this and even see some pictures here.
And, as some of you know, I have had a long running joke that I will get pregnant by my doctor while DH is out of the country and some other person (friend, family or nurse) holds my hand. Well, it WAS a joke but it seems like it will also be the case! DH is currently away on business again, and then he will be home only briefly before leaving once more (and hopefully for the last time in 2010). So, if things go as “planned”, he will only be here for my egg retrieval! It still makes me laugh, but don’t get me wrong… it isn’t easy. As a friend said to me a couple of weeks ago (about her own life), “My husband missed pretty much all the big events in my life too because of work! Not to sound insensitive but I am used to it, calloused if you will... Everyone thinks I am so strong too, but it's a facade that you have no choice but to put on, otherwise you crumble”. I couldn’t have said this better myself.
So this is it for now. Tomorrow, I will post all of the steps and medications involved! Fun!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Take the Fatty Talk Outside
This article written by Rosie Schwartz, a Toronto-based consulting dietitian in private practice and author of The Enlightened Eater's Whole Foods Guide: Harvest the Power of Phyto Foods (Viking Canada). You can find her on Twitter @rosieschwartz. You can find the original article here.
Take the fatty talk outside: It’s time to drop the fat bashing
In this PC age, Rosie Schwartz asks why making fun of overweight individuals is still okay
We've come a long way, baby. The concept of political correctness has yielded some big benefits: being prejudiced is no longer PC. But there are some prejudices that remain and seem to be tolerated - maybe because they aren't recognized as such. And intolerance to fat is right there up at the top of the list. Witness a recent post by writer Maura Kelly in her blog, A Year of Living Flirtatiously, who felt comfortable enough revealing her revulsion of fat to put it up on women's magazine Marie Claire's website. She would not have done it had she thought that it would create much controversy.
Her post, entitled "Should Fatties Get a Room?", a response to her editor asking her if she felt uncomfortable watching overweight people making out on television, was appalling. She wrote, "So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room - just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroin addict slumping in a chair." She went on to say, ""Now, don't go getting the wrong impression: I have a few friends who could be called plump".
Wow - isn't that enlightened of her!
The good news is that it ignited a firestorm of controversy. Judging people by how they look and how much they weigh may finally be recognized as unacceptable.
It's attitudes like this one that make overweight people prey to all kinds of quick weight loss schemes that simply result in their gaining even more weight. Or it keeps them shut inside away from the world because they're embarrassed to be seen.
Reactions to her post have been unprecedented. It's been a hot topic on TV programs like the Today Show and The View, while on the internet some have called for a boycott of the magazine's website. Canadian physician Yoni Freedhoff, in his blog weightymatters.ca, called it "perhaps the vilest, most weight biased article I've ever read." The headline on the topic on the blog Hairpin read "Woman Crams Remarkable Amount of Idiocy Into Single Blog Post."
While Maura Kelly did issue an apology and pointed to her past of having anorexia as a contributing factor, her blatant contempt couldn't be ignored. How often, though, is a lesser prejudice against fat simply passed over?
Too frequently, I would say.
But the fact is that a person's bodyweight is very a personal issue. Despite the fact that it's true that the obesity epidemic is a huge public health issue, commenting on an individual's body - unless you're their healthcare practitioner or family member is simply no one else's business.
I recently fell into that trap when asked by a reporter whether Toronto's mayor-elect Rob Ford should lose weight. I immediately spoke up with my thoughts about fat being a prejudice that people tolerate and how no one should be looking at another individual and commenting on their weight.
How many times have you commented to a friend or colleague about how great they look because they've lost weight? Why not leave it at "You look great!" and skip the weight part. Or have you ever remarked to someone about the weight an individual has gained? Somehow this comes across as being acceptable when in fact it means that you are checking out someone else's body just a little too closely.
Talking about other people's weight or even your own in front of others can lead to unexpected victims. For example, talking about how a person has let herself go - meaning they've put on weight - in front of a vulnerable teen who's feeling chubby can make them self-conscious about their own weight. Comments like these can contribute to the development of an eating disorder or start someone on the rollercoaster of yo-yo dieting. Even worse is the parent who chides him or herself or the other parent about weight issues.
These are issues that I always bring up when counselling clients about weight loss. When an overweight person says that they won't put on a bathing suit or shorts when they're trying to get fit, I suggest that they need to combat their own prejudices about being overweight.
While excess weight may be a health issue, it's also something to be very sensitive about. And so I answered the reporter's questions about weight loss once I had let my views on the topic be known. So you can imagine how mortified I was when I read the first line, "Ford better have waist management on his agenda if he's going to keep up with the hectic schedule of a mayor, a Toronto-based dietician said".
Weight is an issue for society as we live in an environment that promotes obesity. But it's time to recognize that fat as a prejudice is simply not acceptable.
Take the fatty talk outside: It’s time to drop the fat bashing
In this PC age, Rosie Schwartz asks why making fun of overweight individuals is still okay
We've come a long way, baby. The concept of political correctness has yielded some big benefits: being prejudiced is no longer PC. But there are some prejudices that remain and seem to be tolerated - maybe because they aren't recognized as such. And intolerance to fat is right there up at the top of the list. Witness a recent post by writer Maura Kelly in her blog, A Year of Living Flirtatiously, who felt comfortable enough revealing her revulsion of fat to put it up on women's magazine Marie Claire's website. She would not have done it had she thought that it would create much controversy.
Her post, entitled "Should Fatties Get a Room?", a response to her editor asking her if she felt uncomfortable watching overweight people making out on television, was appalling. She wrote, "So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room - just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroin addict slumping in a chair." She went on to say, ""Now, don't go getting the wrong impression: I have a few friends who could be called plump".
Wow - isn't that enlightened of her!
The good news is that it ignited a firestorm of controversy. Judging people by how they look and how much they weigh may finally be recognized as unacceptable.
It's attitudes like this one that make overweight people prey to all kinds of quick weight loss schemes that simply result in their gaining even more weight. Or it keeps them shut inside away from the world because they're embarrassed to be seen.
Reactions to her post have been unprecedented. It's been a hot topic on TV programs like the Today Show and The View, while on the internet some have called for a boycott of the magazine's website. Canadian physician Yoni Freedhoff, in his blog weightymatters.ca, called it "perhaps the vilest, most weight biased article I've ever read." The headline on the topic on the blog Hairpin read "Woman Crams Remarkable Amount of Idiocy Into Single Blog Post."
While Maura Kelly did issue an apology and pointed to her past of having anorexia as a contributing factor, her blatant contempt couldn't be ignored. How often, though, is a lesser prejudice against fat simply passed over?
Too frequently, I would say.
But the fact is that a person's bodyweight is very a personal issue. Despite the fact that it's true that the obesity epidemic is a huge public health issue, commenting on an individual's body - unless you're their healthcare practitioner or family member is simply no one else's business.
I recently fell into that trap when asked by a reporter whether Toronto's mayor-elect Rob Ford should lose weight. I immediately spoke up with my thoughts about fat being a prejudice that people tolerate and how no one should be looking at another individual and commenting on their weight.
How many times have you commented to a friend or colleague about how great they look because they've lost weight? Why not leave it at "You look great!" and skip the weight part. Or have you ever remarked to someone about the weight an individual has gained? Somehow this comes across as being acceptable when in fact it means that you are checking out someone else's body just a little too closely.
Talking about other people's weight or even your own in front of others can lead to unexpected victims. For example, talking about how a person has let herself go - meaning they've put on weight - in front of a vulnerable teen who's feeling chubby can make them self-conscious about their own weight. Comments like these can contribute to the development of an eating disorder or start someone on the rollercoaster of yo-yo dieting. Even worse is the parent who chides him or herself or the other parent about weight issues.
These are issues that I always bring up when counselling clients about weight loss. When an overweight person says that they won't put on a bathing suit or shorts when they're trying to get fit, I suggest that they need to combat their own prejudices about being overweight.
While excess weight may be a health issue, it's also something to be very sensitive about. And so I answered the reporter's questions about weight loss once I had let my views on the topic be known. So you can imagine how mortified I was when I read the first line, "Ford better have waist management on his agenda if he's going to keep up with the hectic schedule of a mayor, a Toronto-based dietician said".
Weight is an issue for society as we live in an environment that promotes obesity. But it's time to recognize that fat as a prejudice is simply not acceptable.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust
A very good friend of mine is celebrating her birthday today, so for starters I would like to say happy birthday and best wishes to you! I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes! Thank you for the yummy dinner last night! And, because this friend is very special to me, I wanted to do something extra special for her and I found the perfect gift that I would like to share with all of you as well.
A few weeks ago I was watching an episode of Oprah called “Amazing Animals”. Kristin Davis (from Sex and the City of course) was on the show talking about a program for adopting elephants in Kenya. These elephants have been orphaned usually due to poaching and drought. Kristin’s story can be found here. As soon as I heard the story I went on-line and began to research The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust. I knew in a heartbeat that this was something I wanted to do and knew exactly who to do it for.
“Sities” is the little baby elephant that I adopted and is now being fostered by her new “mommy”. You can read all about her on her profile page. There is also a documentary entitled “For the Love of Elephants” about The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust on The Nature of Things with David Suzuki which has already aired on TV but you can also watch it online. Ironically, the little elephant that I adopted before even seeing this show is the starlet of the documentary!
If you can, I encourage you all to show your support. There are so many to choose from, both young and old, and they all have their unique stories posted online. These elephants will capture your heart!
A few weeks ago I was watching an episode of Oprah called “Amazing Animals”. Kristin Davis (from Sex and the City of course) was on the show talking about a program for adopting elephants in Kenya. These elephants have been orphaned usually due to poaching and drought. Kristin’s story can be found here. As soon as I heard the story I went on-line and began to research The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust. I knew in a heartbeat that this was something I wanted to do and knew exactly who to do it for.
“Sities” is the little baby elephant that I adopted and is now being fostered by her new “mommy”. You can read all about her on her profile page. There is also a documentary entitled “For the Love of Elephants” about The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust on The Nature of Things with David Suzuki which has already aired on TV but you can also watch it online. Ironically, the little elephant that I adopted before even seeing this show is the starlet of the documentary!
If you can, I encourage you all to show your support. There are so many to choose from, both young and old, and they all have their unique stories posted online. These elephants will capture your heart!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Kevin the Fish
Yesterday I lost one of my betta fish after nearly 1.5 years. He was usually quite active but all of a sudden he wasn't moving at all yesterday morning and that was when I noticed that he had some sort of fungus or growth going on but I wasn't sure what it was. It looked like a small cotton ball was stuck to his side. I put some basic drops in his tank, lowered the water so that he could get air more easily and crossed my fingers. I went to the pet store at lunch to buy him some medication and raced home to give it to him after work but he was already gone. I guess the good news is that Brent, my other betta, is responding well to the aquarium salts I bought as well. He is usually lazy and not doing so well but this morning he was doing acrobatics in his tank!
Kevin has been buried in the garden along with Stewie, the first Betta I got a couple of years ago for Christmas. This isn't the greatest picture of Kevin but it is all I have. I will miss you Kevin!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Metabolic Clinic
Way back in June I was given an appointment to meet with the Metabolic (Diabetes) Clinic today. All that I can truly say about the appointment is that it was utterly redundant!
When I went to the clinic a year ago, I was only there for about an hour. This time, they told me that I would need to be there from 8:30am - 3:00pm so I had planned to take the day off and figured that this appointment would be nothing like the last one. WRONG!
First, they had no idea why I was there and no one seemed to know where my file was. Once that was found they had me wait for the doctor and thankfully I didn't have to wait that long. I explained to her that I had been seeing another doctor in the clinc and that I couldn't stand him any longer and that was why my fertility doctor had referred me to her. She was very nice, thorough, and understanding. She is planning to send a note to my fertility doctor supporting my IVF treatments as well which is nice to hear after all of the problems I had with the last doctor there.
After this, I waited for awhile to see a dietician. Again, very nice, very detailed, took a lot of time with me... but nothing I don't already know! She confirmed that my glucose levels are not that bad and she isn't concerned with them at this time either. Good! But I already knew this.
Then they had me wait to meet with a nurse. And I waited... and waited... and waited. Finally, she came to get me and set me up in her office and then she was called away for something or other. So I waited again. When she finally arrived to see me, she began to ask about my whole family history, my history, who I had met with that morning, where do I work, etc... Half of this is already in my file but anyhow. Then, and this makes me laugh, she started to ask me if I knew how to use my glucometer. Um... I have had it for HOW LONG now? Over a year! And I had just told her that as well! I told her that I have 2 meters, they are both running fine, I know how to use them, and I don't need her to show me. Then she starts asking if I know where my sugar levels should be. Duh! The best part is that when I went last year for the first time they didn't go over any of this with me and now a year later they did. That's useful!
Anyhow, I was done by lunch time so I just decided to head into work... what a wasted morning!
When I went to the clinic a year ago, I was only there for about an hour. This time, they told me that I would need to be there from 8:30am - 3:00pm so I had planned to take the day off and figured that this appointment would be nothing like the last one. WRONG!
First, they had no idea why I was there and no one seemed to know where my file was. Once that was found they had me wait for the doctor and thankfully I didn't have to wait that long. I explained to her that I had been seeing another doctor in the clinc and that I couldn't stand him any longer and that was why my fertility doctor had referred me to her. She was very nice, thorough, and understanding. She is planning to send a note to my fertility doctor supporting my IVF treatments as well which is nice to hear after all of the problems I had with the last doctor there.
After this, I waited for awhile to see a dietician. Again, very nice, very detailed, took a lot of time with me... but nothing I don't already know! She confirmed that my glucose levels are not that bad and she isn't concerned with them at this time either. Good! But I already knew this.
Then they had me wait to meet with a nurse. And I waited... and waited... and waited. Finally, she came to get me and set me up in her office and then she was called away for something or other. So I waited again. When she finally arrived to see me, she began to ask about my whole family history, my history, who I had met with that morning, where do I work, etc... Half of this is already in my file but anyhow. Then, and this makes me laugh, she started to ask me if I knew how to use my glucometer. Um... I have had it for HOW LONG now? Over a year! And I had just told her that as well! I told her that I have 2 meters, they are both running fine, I know how to use them, and I don't need her to show me. Then she starts asking if I know where my sugar levels should be. Duh! The best part is that when I went last year for the first time they didn't go over any of this with me and now a year later they did. That's useful!
Anyhow, I was done by lunch time so I just decided to head into work... what a wasted morning!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Ranting...
“Sometimes someone says something really small
and it just fits into this empty place in your heart.”
Not once have I ever been upset over another person's joy (especially where pregnancy and babies are concerned ironically), but it has happened repeatedly that I have shared my good news with someone else and then proceed to feel guilty for doing so even though they asked in the first place.
If you are so self-absorbed that you are unable to look outside your own bubble and just be happy for me, despite your own unhappiness, then don’t question me about how things are going.
If you are genuinely interested and you want to be supportive then be so, but if you only want to know so that you can bring me down then do me a favor and refrain from asking in the first place.
And last but not least... if my happiness brings you pain, tell me and I will try to shelter you from my news to the best of my ability in the future.
I do not push people to talk to me about this journey and I do not force anyone to read my blog. If you are subscribed and no longer wish to be, either unsubscribe or tell me and I will do it for you; no hard feelings and no questions asked!
Sorry for ranting so early in the 4-day week but it was a long time coming.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Signed, Sealed, and Delivered!
Just as the title says... all of our forms and waivers have been signed and were delivered to the hospital this morning. In addition, I signed the government paperwork for the free IVF/IVM treatments and received my "calendar" (projected schedule of treatment) as well as all of my prescriptions and the one for DH to take.
Also, in the event that DH's travel schedule changes, we froze some of his "boys" this morning (or maybe I should be hopeful and say "girls").
And last but not least, we attended the mandatory information session this morning which, while late as usual, was actually more helpful than I had expected!
So, things are all set and good to go now! Come on November!!!
I will post more details about the schedule and the medications later on!
Also, in the event that DH's travel schedule changes, we froze some of his "boys" this morning (or maybe I should be hopeful and say "girls").
And last but not least, we attended the mandatory information session this morning which, while late as usual, was actually more helpful than I had expected!
So, things are all set and good to go now! Come on November!!!
I will post more details about the schedule and the medications later on!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Round 1 (IVM): Scheduled!
Long story short, the first round of IVM has been scheduled!
Initially they were not going to start booking people until November 1st, but with DH’s constant travelling we need to schedule things in advance (and even then some things do not work out) so they made an exception after some persistence and sting pulling!
Our first round will begin mid November into early December!
Initially they were not going to start booking people until November 1st, but with DH’s constant travelling we need to schedule things in advance (and even then some things do not work out) so they made an exception after some persistence and sting pulling!
Our first round will begin mid November into early December!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Details for IVM
“Before you were conceived I wanted you.
Before you were born I loved you.
Before you were here an hour I would die for you.
This is the miracle of Mother's Love.”
Maureen Hawkins
I don’t have all the details nailed down just yet, but I promised to share whatever I had so here it goes.
Firstly, DH and I have to complete a 2 hour information session at the hospital about IVF/IVM together. They told me that these sessions are usually done once per week in groups of about 30, however I am not sure if they meant 30 couples or 30 people (15 couples). Either way, we have been scheduled for the morning of October 7th and after that I have to call to make the appointments for IVM itself. They used to schedule you for treatment before doing the session but they had issues with this apparently and no longer will. The IVF/IVM schedule is currently full up until November from what I understand. From the time they told me this until my session there will be 2 group sessions so that means that those people will call for their appointments before me. I just hope that it won’t be pushed too far back now; maybe the end of November or December? We will see!
In addition to this, the high risk doctor told me that my blood pressure was slightly elevated. I have never had this before and I am attributing this to nerves the day that I saw him. Regardless, he wants me to monitor my blood pressure as frequently as possible and keep track of it for him. I guess if I notice anything out of the ordinary I will let him know but I hope not! I don’t need any more issues! I will be borrowing a monitor from a friend so that I don’t have to go to the pharmacy every day and hopefully buying my own if necessary. Of course, if this does continue up to and through pregnancy, there are possible risks. A “normal and healthy” pregnancy will carry a 10% risk of these complications and I will have a 25% chance.
Another thing that came up is that my blood sugar IS elevated in the morning. My fasting glucose level when I wake up is as high as my post-meal readings and that is not normal. The high risk doctor said that this DOES indicate the earlier stages of diabetes. Since I am already watching the diet and taking medication for this problem he did not add anything to my current regime, but the SECOND I get pregnant I must start taking insulin injections right away before I get any worse. For now though, he said that things look like they are under control. Of course, again, these cause other risks during pregnancy. One of the main issues is that diabetic babies are typically larger and do not do well around the last month of pregnancy so an early delivery is generally required. I will cross that bridge when I get to it.
Other than that, we had a bunch of consent forms to sign (done) and I have to start taking my proper pre-natal vitamins again since I had stopped for awhile because they were too expensive to be taking for no reason... and now I have reason again!
So, basically, things will never really be easy and I will always have to worry and watch out for things but at least it is still a YES!!! I cannot say that word enough now!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
It's a YES!
I am so excited! I saw the high risk pregnancy doctor again this morning for my follow-up, and although there are a list of things I need to be careful of for now and in the future, he said YES for IVF/IVM!!! I was (am) so happy! Tears of JOY for ONCE! He called my usual doctor to let him know and then I went to meet with him right away. I felt like I needed to be pinched! It was a dream... come true!
We have our information session about IVF/IVM on October 7th and we will only book the actual treatment after that, but it looks like it may be in November or December at this point! So excited, so happy, so... so... elated! I can't wait till I get home so I can see DH!!!
As for all the other details, I will post soon. Although there are many, none of them mean no because today was all about yes, yes, YES! Finally!
(Side note: I find it ironic that this day came exactly one decade minus a day that I "lost" my mother.)
We have our information session about IVF/IVM on October 7th and we will only book the actual treatment after that, but it looks like it may be in November or December at this point! So excited, so happy, so... so... elated! I can't wait till I get home so I can see DH!!!
As for all the other details, I will post soon. Although there are many, none of them mean no because today was all about yes, yes, YES! Finally!
(Side note: I find it ironic that this day came exactly one decade minus a day that I "lost" my mother.)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Not a No!
Today I met with the high-risk pregnancy doctor for the first time. From first impressions, I really like him! Almost as much as my regular doctor... almost.
Last night I really didn't sleep well because my head was filled with negative thoughts about how the appointment was going to go today. To make matters worse, I woke up with an upset stomach and a splitting headache. Yes, I know... I did this to myself, but I couldn't help it. The last round really took a lot of confidence out of me and I had convinced myself that today would be filled more more rejection and I wasn't sure how I would handle that. Since DH is still out of town, I asked a very good friend to come with me for the appointment today so that if I had another meltdown, at least I wouldn't be alone.
My friend picked me up at work and we went to the hospital. Of course, even after a number of detours, we got there early and the doctor was still running late. Does that ever NOT happen? Anyhow, after an hour of waiting, he finally called us in (yes, US... I wasn't going in alone). Basically, I explained that I was there because one of my doctors refused to allow me to do IVF because of my last glucose test and that based on my daily tests, I didn't see why I shouldn't be allowed. He said that he has seen many women in much worse condition succeed so why shouldn't I be allowed? Brownie point number one! Then he asked me some routine questions and took a look at my log book. He really did not seem alarmed by my results in the least. Brownie point number two! He explained that, in my condition, the first days and weeks of pregnancy are a very delicate time and I would have to be very careful. I fully agree and understand this completely. Then, he started to hand me papers for some more blood tests that he wanted me to do right away along with another that I need to do next week before I see him again. I thought I was going to get a flat out NO and be sent away, so when he said to see him again after doing tests I think my brain turned off. Does he really want to see me again? Does he want me to do more tests, only to reject me next week? Is today Tuesday? Am I dreaming? This is why I did not hear him say the next thing, but thankfully I was not alone. My friend clearly heard him say that these tests were not being given in order to make a decision; his decision is already made! He didn't say no! Brownie point number three!
I went and took my first set of tests while my friend booked a follow-up appointment for me because we needed to get back to work. In addition, I need to take my blood sugar level 6 times a day (before and after meals) for the next week and keep a log for the doctor. When I go back next week, I will have a second blood test followed by another appointment with this doctor and I have since made an appointment to see my usual doctor right after I get through with all of this.
So why am I not more excited? Bouncing off walls? Jumping for joy? Because as much as he did not say no, he did not say yes... yet. There have been so many ups and downs over the last few years and so many times that I have been let down that I do not want to get my hopes up just yet. It's kind of like when you first find out you are pregnant; you don't run around telling everyone the news until you are certain everything is ok. This is kind of like that for me. Until I have a piece of paper saying I am officially on the list for IVF and my information session is booked... I do not consider this round over. Until then, you can all be happy for me, how's that?
And to my wonderful angel of a friend, once again, thank you so much! I really appreciate you coming with me today and it was nice to spend time together despite being in a hospital waiting room. You are my new good luck charm and I cannot thank you enough!
Last night I really didn't sleep well because my head was filled with negative thoughts about how the appointment was going to go today. To make matters worse, I woke up with an upset stomach and a splitting headache. Yes, I know... I did this to myself, but I couldn't help it. The last round really took a lot of confidence out of me and I had convinced myself that today would be filled more more rejection and I wasn't sure how I would handle that. Since DH is still out of town, I asked a very good friend to come with me for the appointment today so that if I had another meltdown, at least I wouldn't be alone.
My friend picked me up at work and we went to the hospital. Of course, even after a number of detours, we got there early and the doctor was still running late. Does that ever NOT happen? Anyhow, after an hour of waiting, he finally called us in (yes, US... I wasn't going in alone). Basically, I explained that I was there because one of my doctors refused to allow me to do IVF because of my last glucose test and that based on my daily tests, I didn't see why I shouldn't be allowed. He said that he has seen many women in much worse condition succeed so why shouldn't I be allowed? Brownie point number one! Then he asked me some routine questions and took a look at my log book. He really did not seem alarmed by my results in the least. Brownie point number two! He explained that, in my condition, the first days and weeks of pregnancy are a very delicate time and I would have to be very careful. I fully agree and understand this completely. Then, he started to hand me papers for some more blood tests that he wanted me to do right away along with another that I need to do next week before I see him again. I thought I was going to get a flat out NO and be sent away, so when he said to see him again after doing tests I think my brain turned off. Does he really want to see me again? Does he want me to do more tests, only to reject me next week? Is today Tuesday? Am I dreaming? This is why I did not hear him say the next thing, but thankfully I was not alone. My friend clearly heard him say that these tests were not being given in order to make a decision; his decision is already made! He didn't say no! Brownie point number three!
I went and took my first set of tests while my friend booked a follow-up appointment for me because we needed to get back to work. In addition, I need to take my blood sugar level 6 times a day (before and after meals) for the next week and keep a log for the doctor. When I go back next week, I will have a second blood test followed by another appointment with this doctor and I have since made an appointment to see my usual doctor right after I get through with all of this.
So why am I not more excited? Bouncing off walls? Jumping for joy? Because as much as he did not say no, he did not say yes... yet. There have been so many ups and downs over the last few years and so many times that I have been let down that I do not want to get my hopes up just yet. It's kind of like when you first find out you are pregnant; you don't run around telling everyone the news until you are certain everything is ok. This is kind of like that for me. Until I have a piece of paper saying I am officially on the list for IVF and my information session is booked... I do not consider this round over. Until then, you can all be happy for me, how's that?
And to my wonderful angel of a friend, once again, thank you so much! I really appreciate you coming with me today and it was nice to spend time together despite being in a hospital waiting room. You are my new good luck charm and I cannot thank you enough!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Let the Battle(s) Begin!
The weather is getting cooler, warmer clothes are coming out of the closet, and the leaves are starting to change as well. But the most obvious sign to me that summer is over is that doctor’s are finally booking appointments again!
All of my treatments have been on hold since June 14, 2010. This was when I was told that I could not be given permission to do IVF because my glucose levels were too high (according to the tests I had done at the hospital – not my dailies which are still LOW). I was referred to the Metabolic Center, but their first availability was for October 15th. After numerous e-mail conversations with my doctor, and in an attempt to speed up the process, he finally referred me to a high-risk pregnancy doctor back in July. I called for an appointment as soon as he sent me the referral but, of course, they were not taking patients until the first week of September. My original appointment was scheduled for the end of the month but after much persistence (otherwise known as multiple begging and pleading phone calls) I finally got a spot for tomorrow morning!
The high-risk doctor is a colleague of my usual doctor. He will take a look at my daily glucose levels as well as the rest of my charts and decide whether or not I am a good candidate for pregnancy (in his opinion) despite the obvious hurdles I will face. If he feels that I am, I will have a follow-up appointment this Friday with my usual doctor to set up the IVF. If he does not feel that I am ready, this will be another battle lost (not to mention another huge devastation) and then I will move on to the Metabolic Center in October. The last time I was referred to Metabolic, they did clear me for my first cycle of Clomid so hopefully, if need be, they will clear me again!
It has been nearly 3 whole months since I last saw any doctor for TTC. I have tried to monitor my glucose as much as possible; I test myself at least a few times a week, eat healthier, exercise more, and take my medication regularly. I haven’t lost much weight itself but I feel healthier so something is working. Most importantly, I have taken the last few months to pick up the shattered pieces, re-group, and re-focus because that last round really knocked the wind out of me and I needed to rebuild my strength to handle the next round(s) of whatever comes my way!
The question I continue to hear most often is “how do you have the strength to go through all of this”? And my answer remains the same; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am now 31 years old and I have come through so much in my life already. It wouldn’t be MY life if there weren’t any hurdles in the way. In order to get where I am today in one piece I had to learn to be strong, independent, and determined. With my past and with so much support from family and friends I have more than enough of my own army to get through any battle I may face in the future!
We will see what tomorrow brings...
All of my treatments have been on hold since June 14, 2010. This was when I was told that I could not be given permission to do IVF because my glucose levels were too high (according to the tests I had done at the hospital – not my dailies which are still LOW). I was referred to the Metabolic Center, but their first availability was for October 15th. After numerous e-mail conversations with my doctor, and in an attempt to speed up the process, he finally referred me to a high-risk pregnancy doctor back in July. I called for an appointment as soon as he sent me the referral but, of course, they were not taking patients until the first week of September. My original appointment was scheduled for the end of the month but after much persistence (otherwise known as multiple begging and pleading phone calls) I finally got a spot for tomorrow morning!
The high-risk doctor is a colleague of my usual doctor. He will take a look at my daily glucose levels as well as the rest of my charts and decide whether or not I am a good candidate for pregnancy (in his opinion) despite the obvious hurdles I will face. If he feels that I am, I will have a follow-up appointment this Friday with my usual doctor to set up the IVF. If he does not feel that I am ready, this will be another battle lost (not to mention another huge devastation) and then I will move on to the Metabolic Center in October. The last time I was referred to Metabolic, they did clear me for my first cycle of Clomid so hopefully, if need be, they will clear me again!
It has been nearly 3 whole months since I last saw any doctor for TTC. I have tried to monitor my glucose as much as possible; I test myself at least a few times a week, eat healthier, exercise more, and take my medication regularly. I haven’t lost much weight itself but I feel healthier so something is working. Most importantly, I have taken the last few months to pick up the shattered pieces, re-group, and re-focus because that last round really knocked the wind out of me and I needed to rebuild my strength to handle the next round(s) of whatever comes my way!
The question I continue to hear most often is “how do you have the strength to go through all of this”? And my answer remains the same; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am now 31 years old and I have come through so much in my life already. It wouldn’t be MY life if there weren’t any hurdles in the way. In order to get where I am today in one piece I had to learn to be strong, independent, and determined. With my past and with so much support from family and friends I have more than enough of my own army to get through any battle I may face in the future!
We will see what tomorrow brings...
Monday, September 6, 2010
Back to School Tomorrow
As we have all seen on TV commercials the last few weeks, back to school is usually portrayed as a happy moment for adults; the kids are out of your hair and the old routine begins again. No more "are we there yet", no more "I'm bored, entertain me", and no more figuring out day camps and babysitters while you have to go to work.
For me, back to school is hell. My quiet summer turns into busy, hectic, and mind-numbing days as students return, registration begins, and you can no longer hear yourself think in your own office. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job... but the next 2 weeks I could live without. And to make matters worse, DH left today for 3 whole weeks!!! Ugh...
That being said, I may be absent in the next couple of weeks... but I will try and keep up! And for those of you who read this and work with me... enjoy the last few hours of peace and quiet and good luck tomorrow! At least it's a 4 day week right?
For me, back to school is hell. My quiet summer turns into busy, hectic, and mind-numbing days as students return, registration begins, and you can no longer hear yourself think in your own office. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job... but the next 2 weeks I could live without. And to make matters worse, DH left today for 3 whole weeks!!! Ugh...
That being said, I may be absent in the next couple of weeks... but I will try and keep up! And for those of you who read this and work with me... enjoy the last few hours of peace and quiet and good luck tomorrow! At least it's a 4 day week right?
Friday, September 3, 2010
Loss of Wisdom
My last wisdom tooth has been removed! About 13 years ago I had my bottom wisdom teeth removed, both at the same time. And then, a couple of years ago, one of the top teeth grew all the way in and then I had it pulled because it was cramming my other teeth. Now, a couple of months ago, my last wisdom tooth started to make its appearance and also started to have complications. It hurt because it was growin in almost horizantal and it was pushing on my other molars. To make matters worse, once it broke through the gum I started to get infections. After 2 rounds of antibiotics to clear infection I was able to get it removed yesterday.
My main fear of the procedure was the needle. I HATE needles in the mouth. They had to give me 2 needles to numb me and I held on tight to DH's hand the whole time. And then the tugging and pulling began. The dentist said that I would feel pressure and boy did I ever! I could feel him tearing the gum away, clamping onto the tooth, and twisting and pulling it as he fought to get it out. Thankfully, though, he was able to get it out in one piece. And, I think DH's hand is ok too!
Recovery has been bearable, probably because I am taking a mild dose of Codeine along with using ice packs for the swelling, but I am still in pain. I am mainly drinking liquids and not really eating solid food. I attemted to eat a cookie yesterday and wound up with a chocolate chip in the socket where my tooth was. I won't do that again!
A couple more days of Codeine, ice and liquids and I should be fine, I hope!
My main fear of the procedure was the needle. I HATE needles in the mouth. They had to give me 2 needles to numb me and I held on tight to DH's hand the whole time. And then the tugging and pulling began. The dentist said that I would feel pressure and boy did I ever! I could feel him tearing the gum away, clamping onto the tooth, and twisting and pulling it as he fought to get it out. Thankfully, though, he was able to get it out in one piece. And, I think DH's hand is ok too!
Recovery has been bearable, probably because I am taking a mild dose of Codeine along with using ice packs for the swelling, but I am still in pain. I am mainly drinking liquids and not really eating solid food. I attemted to eat a cookie yesterday and wound up with a chocolate chip in the socket where my tooth was. I won't do that again!
A couple more days of Codeine, ice and liquids and I should be fine, I hope!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
29 Again? Nope... 31 and Counting!
I haven’t had a chance to write because we have been pretty busy the last couple of weeks but it has been fun! DH came home August 20th and took my b-day off the following week so we could spend some time together. I had most of the week off so it was a mini-vacation for me too!
From August 19-28 my BFF and her BF were visiting from Toronto. They stay with us but we often do separate things as they have their own room and keys so they can come and go as they please. We had a lot of busy days and a lot of lazy days too! It was fun!
On August 22nd I had my annual BBQ for my birthday but unfortunately it was raining so no pool this year. About 20 people were there so we had a full house! I tried to talk with everyone there but I never made it to some people. DH occupied half of the room and I occupied the other mostly. I was just trying to go anywhere that was cool! I got a lot of nice presents that day including a gift card for Chapters, a Pizzelle Press (kind of like a waffle iron for those of you who don’t know what it is), a Smores kit, a Vanilla Bean Diffuser, and a lavender filled eye pillow… and cake!
August 23rd was clean-up day and a lazy day and on August 24th I went to work and then to DH’s parents’ house as it was my mother-in-laws birthday. I happily accepted money for my birthday from them because I already had a plan for it. I bought my Kobo!!! No more carrying around heavy books. Now I can have my library in the palm of my hands!! Also, my BFF insisted on giving me my gift that night so I agreed and was very happy. I got a Hollister Hoodie! Kind of an inside joke, but I love it. After this, DH asked me if I wanted his gift as well. I hesitated because I really wanted to open something on my birthday but I was too curious… and I was happily surprised! I am sorry to everyone who reads this who got me a present… but his is my favorite!!! He got me the white gold, diamond accented horseshoe necklace from Zales that I wanted!!! I love it so much!!! I never took my old necklace (his birthstone) off for anything, but I took it off for this!
August 25th we went to Granby Zoo for my birthday. It was a cool rainy morning followed by a cool and sunny afternoon. We went to the water park for a bit but it was freezing! One thing that made me super happy though, was the Meerkats. They have this tunnel you can go into and pop your head up right in the middle of their exhibit. Last year, there were too many kids there and the Meerkats were hiding in the shade because it was really hot out. This year, on the way out, I was able to get into the tunnel and just as I popped my head out I saw a Meerkat right in front of me! I took so many pictures of him! We left just after that and on the way home we went to pick up my Kobo!
The rest of the week was a lazy week. Mini-putt on Thursday, dinner on Friday with a bunch of good friends, followed by a weekend of house cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc… All in all a great week and now back to the grind! Well, actually, not so much. On Sept 2nd I am getting my last wisdom tooth out and will have the 3rd off to recuperate as well. I see lots of popsicles in my future!
From August 19-28 my BFF and her BF were visiting from Toronto. They stay with us but we often do separate things as they have their own room and keys so they can come and go as they please. We had a lot of busy days and a lot of lazy days too! It was fun!
On August 22nd I had my annual BBQ for my birthday but unfortunately it was raining so no pool this year. About 20 people were there so we had a full house! I tried to talk with everyone there but I never made it to some people. DH occupied half of the room and I occupied the other mostly. I was just trying to go anywhere that was cool! I got a lot of nice presents that day including a gift card for Chapters, a Pizzelle Press (kind of like a waffle iron for those of you who don’t know what it is), a Smores kit, a Vanilla Bean Diffuser, and a lavender filled eye pillow… and cake!
August 23rd was clean-up day and a lazy day and on August 24th I went to work and then to DH’s parents’ house as it was my mother-in-laws birthday. I happily accepted money for my birthday from them because I already had a plan for it. I bought my Kobo!!! No more carrying around heavy books. Now I can have my library in the palm of my hands!! Also, my BFF insisted on giving me my gift that night so I agreed and was very happy. I got a Hollister Hoodie! Kind of an inside joke, but I love it. After this, DH asked me if I wanted his gift as well. I hesitated because I really wanted to open something on my birthday but I was too curious… and I was happily surprised! I am sorry to everyone who reads this who got me a present… but his is my favorite!!! He got me the white gold, diamond accented horseshoe necklace from Zales that I wanted!!! I love it so much!!! I never took my old necklace (his birthstone) off for anything, but I took it off for this!
August 25th we went to Granby Zoo for my birthday. It was a cool rainy morning followed by a cool and sunny afternoon. We went to the water park for a bit but it was freezing! One thing that made me super happy though, was the Meerkats. They have this tunnel you can go into and pop your head up right in the middle of their exhibit. Last year, there were too many kids there and the Meerkats were hiding in the shade because it was really hot out. This year, on the way out, I was able to get into the tunnel and just as I popped my head out I saw a Meerkat right in front of me! I took so many pictures of him! We left just after that and on the way home we went to pick up my Kobo!
The rest of the week was a lazy week. Mini-putt on Thursday, dinner on Friday with a bunch of good friends, followed by a weekend of house cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc… All in all a great week and now back to the grind! Well, actually, not so much. On Sept 2nd I am getting my last wisdom tooth out and will have the 3rd off to recuperate as well. I see lots of popsicles in my future!
Friday, August 20, 2010
126 Days Until Christmas...
And more importantly... 5 days until my birthday! I still haven't completely absorbed the idea of turning 31, but it will come wether I like it or not so I will just have to get used to the idea! My BFF came down from Toronto and is spending the week with us again AND I am on vacation for the next week so that makes up for the birthday blues!
So, as you can all imagine, the next week will be a busy one so forgive me if I don't post anything. Actually, the next few WEEKS will be busy. Vacation for a week, followed by 2 days off the following week for a wisdom tooth extraction, followed by 2 weeks of "crazy-town" at work.
Yes, it's official... the summer is nearly over!
So, as you can all imagine, the next week will be a busy one so forgive me if I don't post anything. Actually, the next few WEEKS will be busy. Vacation for a week, followed by 2 days off the following week for a wisdom tooth extraction, followed by 2 weeks of "crazy-town" at work.
Yes, it's official... the summer is nearly over!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Love the Way You Lie
For those of you who don’t know, “Love the Way You Lie” is the title of Eminem’s new song (featuring Rihanna as well). If you are interested, here are the lyrics and the video. In recent weeks this song, as well as the video, have caused a lot of controversy; some feel that the video glamorizes domestic violence while others feel that it brings attention to the issue.
Personally, I applaud Eminem (and Rihanna) for shedding light on this very real problem because silence doesn’t fix a thing! Together, they paint a very honest picture of the abusive relationship cycle. They even show that women can be the abuser, a subject that is hardly ever discussed because so few men report the abuse; fewer than the number of women who report their own abuse.
According to the Canadian Women’s Foundation:
• 51% of Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.
• 36% of female victims of spousal violence and less than 10% of victims of sexual assault reported these crimes to the police in 2004.
• One to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
At first, I couldn’t understand how someone could think that this song and video glamorized the subject but I guess that, for some, the situation seems exaggerated, impossible, and unreal. Maybe they don’t realize that these relationships can go on and on for years or how hard the cycle is to break. Maybe they just felt that there was some Hollywood spin put on it. These people have obviously never been in or around something like this (thankfully), but they should know that these relationships are very real and they happen around us all the time!
Whichever side you are on regarding this video, I think we can all agree that something positive definitely came from it. Megan Fox, who appeared in the video, donated the money she earned from this video to Sojourn, a Los Angeles shelter for battered women and their families. They provide housing, legal assistance, support groups and community outreach programs, among many other things.
Countless people live through this type of violence and abuse day after day. They think that they are alone and that they have nowhere to turn to. I can say with certainty that each and every one of you reading this knows someone who was on one side or the other of a similar story at one point in their lives… possibly even right now… possibly that person is YOU. If you or someone you know needs help, there are plenty of resources out there; please do not be afraid to use them.
Silence kills – break the silence.
Personally, I applaud Eminem (and Rihanna) for shedding light on this very real problem because silence doesn’t fix a thing! Together, they paint a very honest picture of the abusive relationship cycle. They even show that women can be the abuser, a subject that is hardly ever discussed because so few men report the abuse; fewer than the number of women who report their own abuse.
According to the Canadian Women’s Foundation:
• 51% of Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.
• 36% of female victims of spousal violence and less than 10% of victims of sexual assault reported these crimes to the police in 2004.
• One to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
At first, I couldn’t understand how someone could think that this song and video glamorized the subject but I guess that, for some, the situation seems exaggerated, impossible, and unreal. Maybe they don’t realize that these relationships can go on and on for years or how hard the cycle is to break. Maybe they just felt that there was some Hollywood spin put on it. These people have obviously never been in or around something like this (thankfully), but they should know that these relationships are very real and they happen around us all the time!
Whichever side you are on regarding this video, I think we can all agree that something positive definitely came from it. Megan Fox, who appeared in the video, donated the money she earned from this video to Sojourn, a Los Angeles shelter for battered women and their families. They provide housing, legal assistance, support groups and community outreach programs, among many other things.
Countless people live through this type of violence and abuse day after day. They think that they are alone and that they have nowhere to turn to. I can say with certainty that each and every one of you reading this knows someone who was on one side or the other of a similar story at one point in their lives… possibly even right now… possibly that person is YOU. If you or someone you know needs help, there are plenty of resources out there; please do not be afraid to use them.
Silence kills – break the silence.
Monday, August 9, 2010
I Haven't Forgotten About My Blog...
... I have just been kind of busy the last few weeks.
DH just got back from California and is leaving again next week, I am going to physio for my shoulder weekly (and trying to avoid the computer as much as possible because of this), we are trying to finish up projects around the house both inside and out, my BFF is coming to visit in a couple of weeks and I am trying to get my birthday plans set for later this month as well. In the midst of all this, some strange and tragic events took place and that kind of threw me off for a few days as well because I just wasn't able to focus on anything.
Things are starting to come together though, and I have 2 entries started already so hopefully I will be able to post something soon! Thanks for being patient, despite some subtle hints from some of you that I have been "absent"!
All is well, just busier than usual!
DH just got back from California and is leaving again next week, I am going to physio for my shoulder weekly (and trying to avoid the computer as much as possible because of this), we are trying to finish up projects around the house both inside and out, my BFF is coming to visit in a couple of weeks and I am trying to get my birthday plans set for later this month as well. In the midst of all this, some strange and tragic events took place and that kind of threw me off for a few days as well because I just wasn't able to focus on anything.
Things are starting to come together though, and I have 2 entries started already so hopefully I will be able to post something soon! Thanks for being patient, despite some subtle hints from some of you that I have been "absent"!
All is well, just busier than usual!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sex and the City
"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
So, whenever DH goes away I seem to go on DVD marathons. This time was with Sex and the City; the series not the movie. When this show first aired I didn't like it at all. Maybe I was too young. But, a few years ago when I was going through moments of insomnia, I would catch late night re-runs of the show on television and I fell in love. I bought the whole series on Ebay and had my first SATC marathon.
Since doing the tour in NYC a few months ago and watching the second movie I have wanted to watch them all over again so this was the perfect time; and it was absofuckinlutely fabulous (inside SATC vocabulary). The last episode, An American Girl in Paris: Part Deux, brought tears to my eyes as usual and made me want to watch them all over again... but that will have to wait because I just got Mad About You (season 4) and I have been waiting years for this! Why they have waited 3 years between DVD releases is beyond me. I guess it will take another 9 years before I have the complete series... and then I get to have a MAY marathon!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Please, Do Not Join the Club...
In the words of one of my neighbors, and a fellow PCOS inflicted woman, people who have been TTC for less than a year cannot possibly empathise with us; they can only give us sympathy. The problem is, they expect sympathy in return when we have nothing left to give of oursleves. They have no idea how "hard" getting pregnant can be. They have no idea how lucky they are to be TTC without a million hurdles in their way, only the regular fairytale of ups and downs and the more than likely happily ever after. They think that because they are TTC at the same time as we are that they are part of our "club", but our club does not take members who are young and healthy and living the dream. Our club requires initiation, and sometimes years of "hazing", and yes... emotional baggage.
I am part of this club, and honestly, I feel as though we have enough members already so there is no need to apply! Before I joined I thought I was the only one, but since then it seems as though everywhere I turn I find others. True members, who have gone through battle to get where they are now and have emotional scars to prove it. And then there are the girls who only think they belong in our club; the ones who have been living the fairytale and believe that they know what a struggle is. It's not that I don't feel for them, but after a few months of trying they honestly cannot understand what five years of trying can do to a person both physically and emotionally. It sounds cruel, and possibly childish, but you don't belong in our club and I hope that you never, EVER, get a membership card.
I realize that this post is going to annoy a couple of people who read my blog, but it is not meant to hurt you. In the same way that you do not understand what it takes to be a member of our club, we do not understand why you want to be a part of it. People in my shoes envy you. We want your fairytale. We want your optimism. We want your naivety. And sometimes, we want your support to give us strength. But why would you want our sorrow? Our tears? Our frustration? Our lives? We understand that after a few months of TTC you think that your world is closing in on you; we get it, far more than you do. But, what you need to understand is that a few months can never compare to a few years... and that is why we will never truly be able to support each other; we speak different languages and we come from very different worlds.
For those of you who are already members, stay strong and stay hopeful. For those of you who are almost members, you are not alone. And, for those of you who think you belong after only a few months of TTC, wait another 6 months and then look into applying.
It's not day camp, it's not a picnic, and it's not a day at the park... it's a way of life. A way of life I never thought I would experience and would never wish on my worst enemy.
I am part of this club, and honestly, I feel as though we have enough members already so there is no need to apply! Before I joined I thought I was the only one, but since then it seems as though everywhere I turn I find others. True members, who have gone through battle to get where they are now and have emotional scars to prove it. And then there are the girls who only think they belong in our club; the ones who have been living the fairytale and believe that they know what a struggle is. It's not that I don't feel for them, but after a few months of trying they honestly cannot understand what five years of trying can do to a person both physically and emotionally. It sounds cruel, and possibly childish, but you don't belong in our club and I hope that you never, EVER, get a membership card.
I realize that this post is going to annoy a couple of people who read my blog, but it is not meant to hurt you. In the same way that you do not understand what it takes to be a member of our club, we do not understand why you want to be a part of it. People in my shoes envy you. We want your fairytale. We want your optimism. We want your naivety. And sometimes, we want your support to give us strength. But why would you want our sorrow? Our tears? Our frustration? Our lives? We understand that after a few months of TTC you think that your world is closing in on you; we get it, far more than you do. But, what you need to understand is that a few months can never compare to a few years... and that is why we will never truly be able to support each other; we speak different languages and we come from very different worlds.
For those of you who are already members, stay strong and stay hopeful. For those of you who are almost members, you are not alone. And, for those of you who think you belong after only a few months of TTC, wait another 6 months and then look into applying.
It's not day camp, it's not a picnic, and it's not a day at the park... it's a way of life. A way of life I never thought I would experience and would never wish on my worst enemy.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Getting Worse Before Getting Better
Since DH is gone I have been spending most of the evenings this last week in the living room, on the couch, with the laptop and my Sex and the City DVD's. It was my attempt to relax, however, a couple of night ago my shoulder decided to give out on me. I couldn't even lift my own purse (which I admit is heavy but not THAT heavy).
So, yesterday I went to the spa and treated myself to a deep tissue massage in an attempt to heal my shoulder. It was awesome... but I realized something; it wasn't just my shoulder. My back, neck, shoulders, arms, legs, feet... every inch of me was tense! Even the masseuse pointed it out and asked me why I let it get so bad. And you know what? I don't know; I guess I was just preoccupied and forgetting about ME again.
I left the spa feeling much better and my shoulder barely hurts now, but I am glad I made another appointment in a couple of weeks because I think all of the pain that was in my shoulder has spread over the rest of my back and neck and I feel as stiff as a board! The masseuse said I would probably feel worse before I feel better and boy did she know what she was talking about!
Since last night I have been chillin' with Bengay, my heating pad, and my Sex and the City. I have a somewhat busy weekend planned but today I am off work, home, alone, and relaxing! And it feels good! Oh, and I suddenly understand the appeal of having a hot tub because if I had one, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this right now!
Note: On July 27 I started going to Physio for this problem and also re-arranged my whole office. Getting better now!
So, yesterday I went to the spa and treated myself to a deep tissue massage in an attempt to heal my shoulder. It was awesome... but I realized something; it wasn't just my shoulder. My back, neck, shoulders, arms, legs, feet... every inch of me was tense! Even the masseuse pointed it out and asked me why I let it get so bad. And you know what? I don't know; I guess I was just preoccupied and forgetting about ME again.
I left the spa feeling much better and my shoulder barely hurts now, but I am glad I made another appointment in a couple of weeks because I think all of the pain that was in my shoulder has spread over the rest of my back and neck and I feel as stiff as a board! The masseuse said I would probably feel worse before I feel better and boy did she know what she was talking about!
Since last night I have been chillin' with Bengay, my heating pad, and my Sex and the City. I have a somewhat busy weekend planned but today I am off work, home, alone, and relaxing! And it feels good! Oh, and I suddenly understand the appeal of having a hot tub because if I had one, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this right now!
Note: On July 27 I started going to Physio for this problem and also re-arranged my whole office. Getting better now!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Happy Birthday to my Wonderful Hubby!
"A best friend is like a four leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have."
Once again, it's your birthday and we find ourselves on opposite ends of North America; me here at home and you, surrounded by palm trees in California. I realize that you are working and probably exhausted, but try and have a great day! Go and have a nice dinner tonight and top it off with a big piece of cake!
I love you, I miss you, and I am counting down the days until you come home.
Happy Birthday!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Just for Laughs
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
July has definitely been the FUNNIEST month I have had in a long time. I do not remember the last time I have laughed so hard and so often in the span of a couple of weeks. I am not kidding you, my chest hurts, but it’s a good feeling. For those of you who are not familiar with the Just for Laughs Festival, you do not know what you are missing! Last year we were not able to get to any shows but I think we made up for it this year!
July 3 – Tommy Tiernan: He made a stop in Montreal on his way to the Toronto Just for Laughs Festival. I wanted to see him last year but it was around 60$ and no one wanted to go (and DH was on a business trip). This year, he did 3 nights at the Comedyworks for only 15$ so I couldn’t pass that up! He made me laugh so hard that I cried more than once and it was a great show!
July 13 – John Pinette: A birthday present for my sister-in-law, and a great show! Not as funny as some of the other shows I saw but definitely funny. Glad we went even though I was half falling asleep (exhaustion, not boredom)! Free Willy!!! If you know John Pinette, you know what I am talking about.
July 16 – John Leguizamo: This was a birthday gift for DH but we both know that it was more for me. He got me into John Leguizamo but John keeps me coming back. DH spotted 2 seats in the front row, left hand side, and I was in heaven! At the beginning of the show, he danced around just as I had hoped he would (if he did Dancing with the Stars, I would actually watch) and then he came right over to our side of the stage and stood arms length from me (crotch level, hrm). He did a good 2.5 hours that night and I could have listened to him forever. Some parts were more serious and sullen then I have seen from him in the past but it worked! The best part, though, was when he mooned the audience right in front of us and DH covered his eyes!!! If we didn’t have tickets for another show the next night, I think I would have gone to see him again. I lu-lu-lu-love this man! Watch “Sexaholix” and you will understand what I just wrote! Here's a short clip of John Leguizamo dancing during the intro to "Sexaholix".
July 16 – Lewis Black: He hosted “The Night of a Million Opinions” and I can honestly say that the only opinion I have of this show is that it was boring! This was a last minute purchase and thankfully it was 30% off because it wasn’t even worth that! This show was taped for television so that part was cool; seeing them cut and start again sometimes, panning across the audience, knowing you may have a split second on TV one day…but that’s about it. Lewis Black was funny, but the others… not so much.
July 17: Christopher Titus: This was another birthday present for DH. First we went for dinner at The Keg and once we were done I gave him the tickets. He was happily surprised, although he thought our comedy week was over! I have to say, I used to have mixed feelings about Christopher Titus and this was more for DH but it was an awesome show! We ran into a couple of friends there and managed to get front row seats again and I didn’t stop laughing. As the online synopsis says, the show (called Neverlution) was heavily based on technology, politics, racism, child worship, prescription drug companies, and how fat, lazy, and scared we have become to do anything about those things. It was somewhat cynical but very honest and scarily enough, I agreed with most of what he said!
So, all of the comedy shows are over now but I still have one show left to go this month. On Saturday I will be seeing Sting accompanied by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. And, since DH is now in California (for work), I will have the pleasure of going with a close friend who really deserves a night out! Can’t wait!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Free IVF Beginning August 5, 2010!
Quebec to Fund In-Vitro Fertilization,
By Lia Levesque, The Canadian Press
MONTREAL - Couples struggling to conceive are about to get financial help from the Quebec government to pay for fertility treatments.
Health Minister Yves Bolduc announced Tuesday the launch of a provincial plan that will cover up to three cycles of in vitro fertilization, starting on Aug. 5.
Bolduc anticipates 3,500 fertilization cycles will be administered this year at a cost of more than $25 million. That figure could reach $63 million by 2013-2014.
"It's good for Quebec because it will increase the birthrate," Bolduc said.
"It's good for health-care services because it will lower neonatal costs. And it's good for parents."
Quebec's plan goes further than a similar one in Manitoba. Starting in October, that province will start offering a tax credit to cover 40 per cent of in vitro costs along with other procedures to a maximum of $8,000 a year.
Bolduc claims the free fertility treatments will eventually fund themselves.
While Quebec's medical community welcomed the plan as a good idea, it also described it as a hastily drawn policy that could further drain Quebec's already scarce health resources.
"I expect that there will be tourism to procreate in Quebec," said Gaetan Barrette, who heads a provincial association of medical specialists.
"Quebec will be the only place in North America where people will have access to this for free. To have access, the only thing you need is a health-insurance card and you can get a health-insurance card after only three months of residence."
He said he wouldn't be surprised if the treatments end up costing the government more than $200 million per year.
Quebec's association of obstetricians and gynecologists questioned whether the health-care system can handle a surge of pregnant women.
According to the association's president, Robert Sabbah, Quebec is already short between 60 and 70 gynecologists.
Denmark has already had to scale back access to a similar program "because of the enormous costs it engendered," Sabbah said.
Bolduc was forced to justify the costs of the fertilization plan at a time when Quebecers are concerned about operating table backlogs and emergency room wait times.
In rolling out the plan, the governing Liberals have fulfilled a promise made during the last election campaign.
The announcement also marks a significant change in longstanding policy for the Liberals.
Bolduc's predecessor, neurosurgeon Philippe Couillard, opposed covering the cost of treatments because he didn't consider infertility an illness.
Birthrates have long been a sensitive issue in Quebec, most famously in the pre-Quiet Revolution period when Quebecers were urged to have large families to keep their culture alive.
That so-called 'Revenge of the Cradles' had come to an end by the end of 1960s, as Quebec underwent an abrupt transformation from its religious, largely rural past where giant families were the norm.
Within a generation such traditions were replaced by a largely secular, increasingly urban Quebec, which had one of the lowest birthrates in the world.
But the latest trend has seen a small-scale baby boom, with an eight per cent jump in 2006, the biggest birthrate hike since 1909. In 2005, there were 1,700 fertility treatments, costing between $10,000 and $20,000 per treatment.
By Lia Levesque, The Canadian Press
MONTREAL - Couples struggling to conceive are about to get financial help from the Quebec government to pay for fertility treatments.
Health Minister Yves Bolduc announced Tuesday the launch of a provincial plan that will cover up to three cycles of in vitro fertilization, starting on Aug. 5.
Bolduc anticipates 3,500 fertilization cycles will be administered this year at a cost of more than $25 million. That figure could reach $63 million by 2013-2014.
"It's good for Quebec because it will increase the birthrate," Bolduc said.
"It's good for health-care services because it will lower neonatal costs. And it's good for parents."
Quebec's plan goes further than a similar one in Manitoba. Starting in October, that province will start offering a tax credit to cover 40 per cent of in vitro costs along with other procedures to a maximum of $8,000 a year.
Bolduc claims the free fertility treatments will eventually fund themselves.
While Quebec's medical community welcomed the plan as a good idea, it also described it as a hastily drawn policy that could further drain Quebec's already scarce health resources.
"I expect that there will be tourism to procreate in Quebec," said Gaetan Barrette, who heads a provincial association of medical specialists.
"Quebec will be the only place in North America where people will have access to this for free. To have access, the only thing you need is a health-insurance card and you can get a health-insurance card after only three months of residence."
He said he wouldn't be surprised if the treatments end up costing the government more than $200 million per year.
Quebec's association of obstetricians and gynecologists questioned whether the health-care system can handle a surge of pregnant women.
According to the association's president, Robert Sabbah, Quebec is already short between 60 and 70 gynecologists.
Denmark has already had to scale back access to a similar program "because of the enormous costs it engendered," Sabbah said.
Bolduc was forced to justify the costs of the fertilization plan at a time when Quebecers are concerned about operating table backlogs and emergency room wait times.
In rolling out the plan, the governing Liberals have fulfilled a promise made during the last election campaign.
The announcement also marks a significant change in longstanding policy for the Liberals.
Bolduc's predecessor, neurosurgeon Philippe Couillard, opposed covering the cost of treatments because he didn't consider infertility an illness.
Birthrates have long been a sensitive issue in Quebec, most famously in the pre-Quiet Revolution period when Quebecers were urged to have large families to keep their culture alive.
That so-called 'Revenge of the Cradles' had come to an end by the end of 1960s, as Quebec underwent an abrupt transformation from its religious, largely rural past where giant families were the norm.
Within a generation such traditions were replaced by a largely secular, increasingly urban Quebec, which had one of the lowest birthrates in the world.
But the latest trend has seen a small-scale baby boom, with an eight per cent jump in 2006, the biggest birthrate hike since 1909. In 2005, there were 1,700 fertility treatments, costing between $10,000 and $20,000 per treatment.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Weathering the Storm...
Last Friday I took the day off work because I had to take my 91 year old grandmother to the ophthalmologist. She has a walker, but I always borrow the residence wheelchair because she just cannot walk very well at all and it makes my life easier. As you may recall, last Friday was the end of a massive heat wave which meant we had some heavy, stormy, weather. Of course, her appointment was at 2:30 and the downpour began at about 2:00. Perfect timing! I decided not to write this last Friday because I probably would have used too much profanity… so I am writing this now because everything that happened that day still annoys me!
So, due to the stormy weather, I called a cab even though the appointment was only a few blocks away. To start the day off well, the bloody cab driver wouldn’t even get out of the car to help me get my grandmother in OR to put the wheelchair in his trunk! He actually had the nerve to ask me if I really needed to bring it! Then, to top things off, he couldn’t handle simple math so I had to separate his pay from his tip (which he did not deserve) from my change, all while my grandmother sits there and says how useless he is out loud! Thankfully, he didn’t speak a word of English either!
Then I had to wheel my grandmother up a steep ramp at the doctor’s office in the pouring rain. The wheelchair had absolutely no grip and it was very heavy to push on a slippery slope. Somehow I managed to lose my flip flop and nearly fell which would have been horrible as the chair would have rolled backwards onto me. I managed to get up to the top and the ramp was not level with the landing. There was a huge gap! Thankfully, someone came to help us into the office and I thought the day may be turning around.
After the appointment, my grandmother wanted to go for lunch at this little place she loves. I really wasn’t interested but the rain had stopped so I agreed. There are 2 steps to go in, no handrail and no way to get a wheelchair up. She struggled her way into the restaurant and then insisted that she could walk all the way to the back to use the bathroom (which ended up taking about 20 minutes to and form). The food SUCKED because the new management doesn’t know what they are doing and to make things worse when a larger woman walked by our table my grandmother says out loud “well that’s an awful size to be”! I wanted to hide but instead I gave the poor woman a sympathetic look apologizing for my grandmother’s rudeness. She seemed to understand as she smiled back at me very much in the same manner.
When lunch was over, I had to get my grandmother back home and of course it had started to rain again. She had the rest of her lunch to take with her along with the wheelchair. I had my umbrella open and we had to tackle those stairs together once again. I have to add here that I don’t understand why this area is not more handicap friendly. This neighborhood is surrounded by old age homes so you would think business owners would be more accommodating, no? Anyhow, I had to hold my grandmother while she goes down the stairs (remember, with no handrail), keep her wheelchair from rolling away as she uses it for support as well and the wheel locks don’t work, hold her doggie bag and the umbrella all while battling the rain. At one point I thought the manager was coming to help but he was only running to say hi to his friend outside!!! I couldn’t have been fuming more at this point. I pushed her home in the rain with no help from anyone, getting stuck in sidewalk potholes and all! The only help I got was from two bus drivers who blocked the road for me to cross with her. Thank you!
When I finally got her home I called DH to hopefully get a ride from him because I was near tears at this point. He was already well on his way to his friend’s house and I was really out of the way so since I was already soaking wet I just sat in the rain, crying, waiting for the next bus home…
You all think I am lucky to have so many days off recently, but THIS is what I am doing when I am not at work! Would you really like to trade??? I think not!
It did get me thinking though. A couple of times in the last month I have ran to hold a door open for an older woman, helped someone bring a stroller down to the metro, picked up a toy that a kid lost on the street when the mom didn't notice and every time the people are genuinely surprised that someone helped them; and now I know why! Please, if you are young and able and you see someone who could use a hand, help them! Maybe when you are old and grey someone will return the favor... or maybe not... but at least you will know that you did a good thing for someone that day.
So, due to the stormy weather, I called a cab even though the appointment was only a few blocks away. To start the day off well, the bloody cab driver wouldn’t even get out of the car to help me get my grandmother in OR to put the wheelchair in his trunk! He actually had the nerve to ask me if I really needed to bring it! Then, to top things off, he couldn’t handle simple math so I had to separate his pay from his tip (which he did not deserve) from my change, all while my grandmother sits there and says how useless he is out loud! Thankfully, he didn’t speak a word of English either!
Then I had to wheel my grandmother up a steep ramp at the doctor’s office in the pouring rain. The wheelchair had absolutely no grip and it was very heavy to push on a slippery slope. Somehow I managed to lose my flip flop and nearly fell which would have been horrible as the chair would have rolled backwards onto me. I managed to get up to the top and the ramp was not level with the landing. There was a huge gap! Thankfully, someone came to help us into the office and I thought the day may be turning around.
After the appointment, my grandmother wanted to go for lunch at this little place she loves. I really wasn’t interested but the rain had stopped so I agreed. There are 2 steps to go in, no handrail and no way to get a wheelchair up. She struggled her way into the restaurant and then insisted that she could walk all the way to the back to use the bathroom (which ended up taking about 20 minutes to and form). The food SUCKED because the new management doesn’t know what they are doing and to make things worse when a larger woman walked by our table my grandmother says out loud “well that’s an awful size to be”! I wanted to hide but instead I gave the poor woman a sympathetic look apologizing for my grandmother’s rudeness. She seemed to understand as she smiled back at me very much in the same manner.
When lunch was over, I had to get my grandmother back home and of course it had started to rain again. She had the rest of her lunch to take with her along with the wheelchair. I had my umbrella open and we had to tackle those stairs together once again. I have to add here that I don’t understand why this area is not more handicap friendly. This neighborhood is surrounded by old age homes so you would think business owners would be more accommodating, no? Anyhow, I had to hold my grandmother while she goes down the stairs (remember, with no handrail), keep her wheelchair from rolling away as she uses it for support as well and the wheel locks don’t work, hold her doggie bag and the umbrella all while battling the rain. At one point I thought the manager was coming to help but he was only running to say hi to his friend outside!!! I couldn’t have been fuming more at this point. I pushed her home in the rain with no help from anyone, getting stuck in sidewalk potholes and all! The only help I got was from two bus drivers who blocked the road for me to cross with her. Thank you!
When I finally got her home I called DH to hopefully get a ride from him because I was near tears at this point. He was already well on his way to his friend’s house and I was really out of the way so since I was already soaking wet I just sat in the rain, crying, waiting for the next bus home…
You all think I am lucky to have so many days off recently, but THIS is what I am doing when I am not at work! Would you really like to trade??? I think not!
It did get me thinking though. A couple of times in the last month I have ran to hold a door open for an older woman, helped someone bring a stroller down to the metro, picked up a toy that a kid lost on the street when the mom didn't notice and every time the people are genuinely surprised that someone helped them; and now I know why! Please, if you are young and able and you see someone who could use a hand, help them! Maybe when you are old and grey someone will return the favor... or maybe not... but at least you will know that you did a good thing for someone that day.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Metabolic (diabetic) Center
The Metabolic Center has given me an appointment for October 15, which is a really long time from now considering the situation. I called them this morning and explained why I need to see someone sooner, but unfortunately they have nothing available. I cannot begin to explain how discouraged I am with this whole process! If I only see them in October, followed by a second visit 6-8 weeks later like they did last year, I am looking at December or January by the time they clear me for IVF/IVM.
I e-mailed my doctor to see if there was anything he could do and he gave me 2 options. He said that I could see the other doctor who follows me (the endocrinologist who I cannot stand) OR he can refer me to a high-risk pregnancy doctor for a consultation/second opinion.
For now, I have decided to take the referral. I will keep my appointment for October as well, just in case, and cancel later if necessary. If the high-risk doctor thinks things will be ok, then bring on the IVF/IVM! Who knows, maybe the government will have finally announced their free IVF plan by then! If not - screw them; I am tired of waiting for them to make up their minds.
I e-mailed my doctor to see if there was anything he could do and he gave me 2 options. He said that I could see the other doctor who follows me (the endocrinologist who I cannot stand) OR he can refer me to a high-risk pregnancy doctor for a consultation/second opinion.
For now, I have decided to take the referral. I will keep my appointment for October as well, just in case, and cancel later if necessary. If the high-risk doctor thinks things will be ok, then bring on the IVF/IVM! Who knows, maybe the government will have finally announced their free IVF plan by then! If not - screw them; I am tired of waiting for them to make up their minds.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thyroid and Nutrition
Just for fun, I started researching my thyroid issues (since PCOS is on the side at the moment) and I came across a bunch of nutritional information which is both interesting and irritating all at once. The following information comes from http://www.fortherecordmag.com/archives/ftr_070405p34.shtml. I am posting this because I am not the only one here with thyroid issues.
Treatments and Nutrition:
Standard treatment for thyroid disorders involves daily medication, although surgery or radioiodine therapy may be required in some cases. While most women are diligent about taking their medication, they may be unaware that nutrition and diet also play a role in thyroid disorders.
“If you have a thyroid disorder, certain foods can help or hinder the thyroid function,” Vasconcellos advises. However, she cautions, “you don’t want to use food to treat the thyroid disorder. It should be complementary to medication.”
Certain foods contain compounds called goitrogens that interfere with normal thyroid function or, after they are ingested, interact with other substances in the body to form goitrogens. “Natural goitrogens can suppress the thyroid function,” Vasconcellos explains.
Goitrogenic foods include the cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, cabbage, rutabagas, turnips, kohlrabi, kale), millet, peaches, peanuts, walnuts, pine nuts, radishes, spinach, and strawberries. The isothiocyanates in these foods reduce thyroid function by interfering with the activity of an enzyme called thyroid peroxidase, which helps normal thyroid function by adding iodine atoms onto thyroid hormones. Soy, a staple in the vegetarian diet, is also a goitrogen and appears to increase T-4 without affecting T-3 levels. Isoflavones in soy, such as isothiocyanate, block the activity of thyroid peroxidase. Ultimately, this impairs thyroid function and can lead to weight gain.
Nutritionists and physicians recommend limiting intake of natural goitrogens but not eliminating them, since soy and cruciferous vegetables provide other proven benefits.
Women with a thyroid condition should limit soy intake to no more than one daily serving, which is equivalent to 4 ounces of tofu, 2 teaspoons of soy sauce, or 8 ounces of soy milk. Cruciferous vegetables and other foods mentioned above should also be limited to 1 cup two to three times per week.
“Greater than 1 cup daily is considered excessive for those with a thyroid condition,” Vasconcellos says. She adds that cooking appears to make the goitrogenic compounds in these foods inactive and recommends that women with thyroid disorders consume goitrogenic foods in cooked form rather than raw.
If these goitrogenic foods suppress thyroid function, can women with overactive thyroid glands increase the amounts eaten of these foods? Vasconcellos says no. “Eating goitrogens can actually increase the effects of antithyroid medications taken for hyperthyroidism,” she emphasizes. For women with hyperthyroidism, Vasconcellos recommends the following:
• a high-calorie balanced diet;
• a higher fluid intake, if not contraindicated (eg, renal disease);
• appropriate calcium, vitamin D, and phosphorus supplements for bone health;
• avoidance of stimulants such as caffeine (coffee, tea, cola, and chocolate), which can stimulate thyroid function.
Vasconcellos says, “One of the main objectives for women with hypothyroidism is controlling body weight through a calorie-controlled diet appropriate for their age and weight.” In addition to a balanced, calorie-controlled diet, Vasconcellos recommends that women with hypothyroidism limit consumption of natural goitrogens and increase fiber and fluid intake. Increasing fiber (fruits and vegetables) and fluids can help with the constipation often experienced by women with hypothyroidism.
In addition to foods, minerals are also important to thyroid function. Some clinical research has suggested that the minerals copper, zinc, and selenium can influence thyroid hormone utilization. Recently, selenium was found to help prevent and manage cardiovascular conditions, as well as support the conversion of T-4 to T-3 thyroid hormone. The daily recommended dose is 1 milligram copper, 25 milligrams zinc, and 100 micrograms selenium—amounts that are in many daily multivitamins.
Other lifestyle modifications can aid women in alleviating symptoms associated with thyroid disorders. Although smoking is an unhealthy habit for anyone, women with a thyroid disorder should not smoke because nicotine has been shown to adversely affect the conversion of T-4 to T-3. Regular exercise, including appropriate cardiovascular conditioning and strength exercises, can assist a sluggish metabolism in hypothyroidism and help prevent osteoporosis, which frequently afflicts women with hyperthyroidism.
Treatments and Nutrition:
Standard treatment for thyroid disorders involves daily medication, although surgery or radioiodine therapy may be required in some cases. While most women are diligent about taking their medication, they may be unaware that nutrition and diet also play a role in thyroid disorders.
“If you have a thyroid disorder, certain foods can help or hinder the thyroid function,” Vasconcellos advises. However, she cautions, “you don’t want to use food to treat the thyroid disorder. It should be complementary to medication.”
Certain foods contain compounds called goitrogens that interfere with normal thyroid function or, after they are ingested, interact with other substances in the body to form goitrogens. “Natural goitrogens can suppress the thyroid function,” Vasconcellos explains.
Goitrogenic foods include the cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, cabbage, rutabagas, turnips, kohlrabi, kale), millet, peaches, peanuts, walnuts, pine nuts, radishes, spinach, and strawberries. The isothiocyanates in these foods reduce thyroid function by interfering with the activity of an enzyme called thyroid peroxidase, which helps normal thyroid function by adding iodine atoms onto thyroid hormones. Soy, a staple in the vegetarian diet, is also a goitrogen and appears to increase T-4 without affecting T-3 levels. Isoflavones in soy, such as isothiocyanate, block the activity of thyroid peroxidase. Ultimately, this impairs thyroid function and can lead to weight gain.
Nutritionists and physicians recommend limiting intake of natural goitrogens but not eliminating them, since soy and cruciferous vegetables provide other proven benefits.
Women with a thyroid condition should limit soy intake to no more than one daily serving, which is equivalent to 4 ounces of tofu, 2 teaspoons of soy sauce, or 8 ounces of soy milk. Cruciferous vegetables and other foods mentioned above should also be limited to 1 cup two to three times per week.
“Greater than 1 cup daily is considered excessive for those with a thyroid condition,” Vasconcellos says. She adds that cooking appears to make the goitrogenic compounds in these foods inactive and recommends that women with thyroid disorders consume goitrogenic foods in cooked form rather than raw.
If these goitrogenic foods suppress thyroid function, can women with overactive thyroid glands increase the amounts eaten of these foods? Vasconcellos says no. “Eating goitrogens can actually increase the effects of antithyroid medications taken for hyperthyroidism,” she emphasizes. For women with hyperthyroidism, Vasconcellos recommends the following:
• a high-calorie balanced diet;
• a higher fluid intake, if not contraindicated (eg, renal disease);
• appropriate calcium, vitamin D, and phosphorus supplements for bone health;
• avoidance of stimulants such as caffeine (coffee, tea, cola, and chocolate), which can stimulate thyroid function.
Vasconcellos says, “One of the main objectives for women with hypothyroidism is controlling body weight through a calorie-controlled diet appropriate for their age and weight.” In addition to a balanced, calorie-controlled diet, Vasconcellos recommends that women with hypothyroidism limit consumption of natural goitrogens and increase fiber and fluid intake. Increasing fiber (fruits and vegetables) and fluids can help with the constipation often experienced by women with hypothyroidism.
In addition to foods, minerals are also important to thyroid function. Some clinical research has suggested that the minerals copper, zinc, and selenium can influence thyroid hormone utilization. Recently, selenium was found to help prevent and manage cardiovascular conditions, as well as support the conversion of T-4 to T-3 thyroid hormone. The daily recommended dose is 1 milligram copper, 25 milligrams zinc, and 100 micrograms selenium—amounts that are in many daily multivitamins.
Other lifestyle modifications can aid women in alleviating symptoms associated with thyroid disorders. Although smoking is an unhealthy habit for anyone, women with a thyroid disorder should not smoke because nicotine has been shown to adversely affect the conversion of T-4 to T-3. Regular exercise, including appropriate cardiovascular conditioning and strength exercises, can assist a sluggish metabolism in hypothyroidism and help prevent osteoporosis, which frequently afflicts women with hyperthyroidism.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Friendship, Family and BFF'S
Have you ever had a friend who was so close that you considered them more like family? Well, for various reasons I am fortunate to have a small handful of those friends… but one in particular stands out.
We have known each other for over 20 years and I hope that it is only the beginning of our friendship. We have been separated by schools, groups of friends, life choices, and now provinces… but I think we both know now that nothing can tear us apart.
Of all my friends, no one is ever closer to my heart than this one… and I am happy to say that tomorrow I get to leave Quebec (and all of its St-Jean-Baptiste celebrations) to spend some time with my BFF in her home away from home, Toronto. So, without naming names (because you know who you are)... I love you and we will see you tomorrow!!!
And, on that note… see the rest of you in a week or so!
We have known each other for over 20 years and I hope that it is only the beginning of our friendship. We have been separated by schools, groups of friends, life choices, and now provinces… but I think we both know now that nothing can tear us apart.
Of all my friends, no one is ever closer to my heart than this one… and I am happy to say that tomorrow I get to leave Quebec (and all of its St-Jean-Baptiste celebrations) to spend some time with my BFF in her home away from home, Toronto. So, without naming names (because you know who you are)... I love you and we will see you tomorrow!!!
And, on that note… see the rest of you in a week or so!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Another Brick in the Wall
Last Friday I had another “déjà vu” moment… and it wasn’t pretty.
About this time last summer I told the doctors that I was ready to start Clomid or whatever treatment they thought was necessary for me to get pregnant. My fertility doctor agreed that I could move on to the next step, but the endocrinologist (that I also have to see) refused. He said that my Glucose Tolerance Test (OGTT) had come back slightly elevated and that I was now diabetic (Type 2). I was scheduled to do the 3 hour OGTT, met with a nurse, a dietician, etc… and, after all of this was done they told me that I was NOT diabetic; borderline, but not there (yet). I had to wait a few more months just to be sure but that is when we started treatment.
Fast forward a year or so and here we are again!
About 2 weeks ago when we realized the injections were not working I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to get the order for IVM. In the meantime, I hadn’t been feeling well and I mentioned this to the on-call doctor so he suggested I repeat my OGTT just to be sure. I did this test along with the thyroid test a week before my appointment and really was not worried about it at all. Friday morning I was so happy. All the way to the hospital I was wide awake, smiling, and feeling great… and about an hour later, my world came crashing down.
My thyroid function is fine, as it has been for almost 2 years now. My OGTT results on the other hand, elevated again! Not once in a year have I ever had an elevated result from self testing but I do this test and everything changes. I have even gone a whole week without taking my medication (while on vacation because I forgot my pills) and even then everything was under control! I don’t get it… I really don’t! You have no idea how much I regret saying ANYTHING about not feeling well. In retrospect, I am pretty sure it was the heat that caused me to feel sick in the first place...
So, now I have to go back to the diabetic clinic and redo all of those steps before they will even give me the order for IVM. Until I am cleared by the diabetic clinic along with the endocrinologist (who I really cannot stand by the way – even before all of this) I cannot proceed. And, while they can’t stop me from getting pregnant on my own that’s never going to happen so once again I have hit a brick wall.
I am devastated. I spent the whole day crying on Friday, calling or e-mailing people for support (thank you again to all of you who were there for me when I needed you most). To make matters worse, even though I asked him to, DH didn’t come home until after I had gone to bed so I was alone all night - crying. Saturday morning I was a bit of a mess and I was upset with DH so I was in a rotten mood. Yes, he has now apologized but that doesn’t make up for what he did! Saturday afternoon we went to see Cirque de Soleil with my brother and sister in law followed by dinner so that kept my mind off things and on Sunday we were busy with Father’s Day (not to mention exhausted) so the weekend wasn't so bad. But now, Monday, I am right back to where I was on Friday. I have been awake for less than 3 hours and have spent about an hour crying in total already.
This is going to be a long day...
About this time last summer I told the doctors that I was ready to start Clomid or whatever treatment they thought was necessary for me to get pregnant. My fertility doctor agreed that I could move on to the next step, but the endocrinologist (that I also have to see) refused. He said that my Glucose Tolerance Test (OGTT) had come back slightly elevated and that I was now diabetic (Type 2). I was scheduled to do the 3 hour OGTT, met with a nurse, a dietician, etc… and, after all of this was done they told me that I was NOT diabetic; borderline, but not there (yet). I had to wait a few more months just to be sure but that is when we started treatment.
Fast forward a year or so and here we are again!
About 2 weeks ago when we realized the injections were not working I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to get the order for IVM. In the meantime, I hadn’t been feeling well and I mentioned this to the on-call doctor so he suggested I repeat my OGTT just to be sure. I did this test along with the thyroid test a week before my appointment and really was not worried about it at all. Friday morning I was so happy. All the way to the hospital I was wide awake, smiling, and feeling great… and about an hour later, my world came crashing down.
My thyroid function is fine, as it has been for almost 2 years now. My OGTT results on the other hand, elevated again! Not once in a year have I ever had an elevated result from self testing but I do this test and everything changes. I have even gone a whole week without taking my medication (while on vacation because I forgot my pills) and even then everything was under control! I don’t get it… I really don’t! You have no idea how much I regret saying ANYTHING about not feeling well. In retrospect, I am pretty sure it was the heat that caused me to feel sick in the first place...
So, now I have to go back to the diabetic clinic and redo all of those steps before they will even give me the order for IVM. Until I am cleared by the diabetic clinic along with the endocrinologist (who I really cannot stand by the way – even before all of this) I cannot proceed. And, while they can’t stop me from getting pregnant on my own that’s never going to happen so once again I have hit a brick wall.
I am devastated. I spent the whole day crying on Friday, calling or e-mailing people for support (thank you again to all of you who were there for me when I needed you most). To make matters worse, even though I asked him to, DH didn’t come home until after I had gone to bed so I was alone all night - crying. Saturday morning I was a bit of a mess and I was upset with DH so I was in a rotten mood. Yes, he has now apologized but that doesn’t make up for what he did! Saturday afternoon we went to see Cirque de Soleil with my brother and sister in law followed by dinner so that kept my mind off things and on Sunday we were busy with Father’s Day (not to mention exhausted) so the weekend wasn't so bad. But now, Monday, I am right back to where I was on Friday. I have been awake for less than 3 hours and have spent about an hour crying in total already.
This is going to be a long day...
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Yin and Yang
In all yin there is yang and in all yang there is yin. Each exists in the other and each needs the other to exist; man and woman, day and night, good and evil, positive and negative…
Earlier this week I was speaking to one of my (very pregnant) neighbors and she got me thinking…
Everywhere you go you hear success stories about both natural and assisted pregnancies. In the waiting rooms at the fertility clinics there are always newspaper articles, thank-you cards, pictures and even babies surrounding you – which can be quite hard to handle at times when your results were not what you were expecting. Even in fertility counseling, the majority of the time you hear all about the success of treatment and they focus the majority of their attention on the POSITIVE. You hear so many encouraging stories and advice from friends, family, counselors, and even the doctors that you start to believe that no matter what happens you WILL get pregnant.
But there is a NEGATIVE side to all of this that few people talk about. Side effects, failed procedures, damage to your body, depression, loss, anger, emotional and physical stress… the list goes on and on... but nobody tells you these things. Nobody tells you “there is a 50/50 chance that this might not work so you need to be prepared for the worst” when it is a very possible outcome.
Either naturally or assisted, I know some people who were successful on their very first try, others on their 5th or 6th attempt, and others who have tried countless times who are still unsuccessful. Having all of these women to refer to and talk to and seek advice from makes me stronger. It keeps me informed and it keeps my head out of the clouds, away from high (and possibly false) hopes.
Don’t get me wrong! I am staying positive, I do not admit defeat and won’t for a very long time… but I know that it IS a possibility and I accept that.
Maybe it’s just me, but I want to hear both sides. I don’t want to hear all of the positives day after day, month after month, and year after year only to be (possibly) completely deflated and let down at the end, crying out “why didn’t anyone prepare me for this”? To me, knowing both the positive and the negative is what gives me the will to go through with everything as well as the cushion to fall back on when and if needed. Being informed is what makes me strong and gives me the energy to deal with all of this.
I acknowledge and accept the reality that there are no guarantees where fertility and conception are concerned! I am not trying to be depressing... just realistic.
Earlier this week I was speaking to one of my (very pregnant) neighbors and she got me thinking…
Everywhere you go you hear success stories about both natural and assisted pregnancies. In the waiting rooms at the fertility clinics there are always newspaper articles, thank-you cards, pictures and even babies surrounding you – which can be quite hard to handle at times when your results were not what you were expecting. Even in fertility counseling, the majority of the time you hear all about the success of treatment and they focus the majority of their attention on the POSITIVE. You hear so many encouraging stories and advice from friends, family, counselors, and even the doctors that you start to believe that no matter what happens you WILL get pregnant.
But there is a NEGATIVE side to all of this that few people talk about. Side effects, failed procedures, damage to your body, depression, loss, anger, emotional and physical stress… the list goes on and on... but nobody tells you these things. Nobody tells you “there is a 50/50 chance that this might not work so you need to be prepared for the worst” when it is a very possible outcome.
Either naturally or assisted, I know some people who were successful on their very first try, others on their 5th or 6th attempt, and others who have tried countless times who are still unsuccessful. Having all of these women to refer to and talk to and seek advice from makes me stronger. It keeps me informed and it keeps my head out of the clouds, away from high (and possibly false) hopes.
Don’t get me wrong! I am staying positive, I do not admit defeat and won’t for a very long time… but I know that it IS a possibility and I accept that.
Maybe it’s just me, but I want to hear both sides. I don’t want to hear all of the positives day after day, month after month, and year after year only to be (possibly) completely deflated and let down at the end, crying out “why didn’t anyone prepare me for this”? To me, knowing both the positive and the negative is what gives me the will to go through with everything as well as the cushion to fall back on when and if needed. Being informed is what makes me strong and gives me the energy to deal with all of this.
I acknowledge and accept the reality that there are no guarantees where fertility and conception are concerned! I am not trying to be depressing... just realistic.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Shelfari!
This morning I got the idea to add a "Currently Reading" section to this blog and I assumed there would already be a "widget" here that I liked... wrong! So, for the last few hours I have tired various sites and programs to find something that I like and... tada! Shelfari! It is exactly what I envisioned in my head and provides an easy to load "widget" too!
So, for those of you who are interested, click on the Shelfari bookshelf on the right. My library is by no means complete and will take me a while to finish if I add everything! These are mainly the books I have read in the last year and some others that I love. It also has a section for what I plan to read so I listed everything that is currently on the shelf.
Yes I know... I'm a nerd... but I'm so happy :)
So, for those of you who are interested, click on the Shelfari bookshelf on the right. My library is by no means complete and will take me a while to finish if I add everything! These are mainly the books I have read in the last year and some others that I love. It also has a section for what I plan to read so I listed everything that is currently on the shelf.
Yes I know... I'm a nerd... but I'm so happy :)
Monday, June 7, 2010
Round 3: Over… on to Round 4 (soon)!
I did NOTHING this weekend and I feel so much better now! No work in the yard, barely any cooking, no housework (aside from laundry) and no running around all over the place on errands. It helps that it was raining but I should definitely do this more often! We also figured out most of our vacation plans for later this month so that’s another worry gone!
On Friday I went for what became my last ultrasound for Round 3. And again, there were no changes. My doctor was not there so another one (that I like) was doing reviews and I bombarded him with questions. Here is a summary:
IUI Questions:
1) If we stop treatment now and start again later at a higher dose from the beginning, what are the chances of a better response to the injections and what dose would be given to start with?
I would begin at a dose of 225 IU (or possibly higher). As for a chance of response; it will happen at some point but there is no way to tell when.
2) Question: What % chance is there that IUI will work?
Approximately 18% at best but considering the circumstances, probably lower.
IVF Questions:
1) Question: Is it true that the free IVF program might begin in August? When will we know who is eligible and what the criteria are?
Probably June/July as initially planned and I do qualify as I have “failed” all prior treatments. The government will pay for 3 cycles of treatment for 10,000 women annually.
2) Question: Will the medication that is needed for IVF be covered as well? Also, if the medication fails again can I change to IVM?
Yes, medication is covered. Yes, I can change to IVM if necessary.
3) Question: What % chance is there that IVF will work?
About 65%, however the government will be restricting the number of embryos put back into the uterus. They may only allow 1 per cycle.
IVM Questions:
1) Will the government also be covering IVM?
Yes, 100%. Also, because IVM is cheaper, it is rumored that they may cover more cycles than with IVF.
2) Question: Is there any reason why waiting 2-3 months to do this would be an issue in terms of success, health, etc… vs. starting now?
No. Ovarian stimulation is not necessary for IVM so losing what I have now makes no difference. In my case, they MAY stimulate a bit (3-5 days) but the injections would then be covered so it is not a concern financially. (Clomid cannot be used for IVM due to its effects on the uterine lining).
3) What % chance is there that IVM will work?
Currently there is about a 50% success rate with IVM. Also, they may not be limited to only 1 embryo per cycle so each embryo would have a 50% chance and they would still put 2-3 back based on my age etc…
Now, because I have PCOS I am highly at risk for Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS) if I use injections, especially once we find the dose that works for me. I could go from nothing to too many overnight almost. So, IVM is definitely a better way to go for me and this is what we will be doing!
Apparently, the government list will be rolling in everyone who is already on hospital waiting lists and then they will take over from there. So, I see my doctor on June 18th to get the order made, then I take an afternoon course about IVM (all in-vitro procedures require this apparently - although, I could probably teach the course by now), and then I wait. The hope is to do IVM in August but this will depend on when plans are in place, how the lists will work, etc… etc…
Hopefully the government plans are available soon!!!
On Friday I went for what became my last ultrasound for Round 3. And again, there were no changes. My doctor was not there so another one (that I like) was doing reviews and I bombarded him with questions. Here is a summary:
IUI Questions:
1) If we stop treatment now and start again later at a higher dose from the beginning, what are the chances of a better response to the injections and what dose would be given to start with?
I would begin at a dose of 225 IU (or possibly higher). As for a chance of response; it will happen at some point but there is no way to tell when.
2) Question: What % chance is there that IUI will work?
Approximately 18% at best but considering the circumstances, probably lower.
IVF Questions:
1) Question: Is it true that the free IVF program might begin in August? When will we know who is eligible and what the criteria are?
Probably June/July as initially planned and I do qualify as I have “failed” all prior treatments. The government will pay for 3 cycles of treatment for 10,000 women annually.
2) Question: Will the medication that is needed for IVF be covered as well? Also, if the medication fails again can I change to IVM?
Yes, medication is covered. Yes, I can change to IVM if necessary.
3) Question: What % chance is there that IVF will work?
About 65%, however the government will be restricting the number of embryos put back into the uterus. They may only allow 1 per cycle.
IVM Questions:
1) Will the government also be covering IVM?
Yes, 100%. Also, because IVM is cheaper, it is rumored that they may cover more cycles than with IVF.
2) Question: Is there any reason why waiting 2-3 months to do this would be an issue in terms of success, health, etc… vs. starting now?
No. Ovarian stimulation is not necessary for IVM so losing what I have now makes no difference. In my case, they MAY stimulate a bit (3-5 days) but the injections would then be covered so it is not a concern financially. (Clomid cannot be used for IVM due to its effects on the uterine lining).
3) What % chance is there that IVM will work?
Currently there is about a 50% success rate with IVM. Also, they may not be limited to only 1 embryo per cycle so each embryo would have a 50% chance and they would still put 2-3 back based on my age etc…
Now, because I have PCOS I am highly at risk for Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS) if I use injections, especially once we find the dose that works for me. I could go from nothing to too many overnight almost. So, IVM is definitely a better way to go for me and this is what we will be doing!
Apparently, the government list will be rolling in everyone who is already on hospital waiting lists and then they will take over from there. So, I see my doctor on June 18th to get the order made, then I take an afternoon course about IVM (all in-vitro procedures require this apparently - although, I could probably teach the course by now), and then I wait. The hope is to do IVM in August but this will depend on when plans are in place, how the lists will work, etc… etc…
Hopefully the government plans are available soon!!!
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