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Monday, September 13, 2010

Let the Battle(s) Begin!

The weather is getting cooler, warmer clothes are coming out of the closet, and the leaves are starting to change as well. But the most obvious sign to me that summer is over is that doctor’s are finally booking appointments again!

All of my treatments have been on hold since June 14, 2010. This was when I was told that I could not be given permission to do IVF because my glucose levels were too high (according to the tests I had done at the hospital – not my dailies which are still LOW). I was referred to the Metabolic Center, but their first availability was for October 15th. After numerous e-mail conversations with my doctor, and in an attempt to speed up the process, he finally referred me to a high-risk pregnancy doctor back in July. I called for an appointment as soon as he sent me the referral but, of course, they were not taking patients until the first week of September. My original appointment was scheduled for the end of the month but after much persistence (otherwise known as multiple begging and pleading phone calls) I finally got a spot for tomorrow morning!

The high-risk doctor is a colleague of my usual doctor. He will take a look at my daily glucose levels as well as the rest of my charts and decide whether or not I am a good candidate for pregnancy (in his opinion) despite the obvious hurdles I will face. If he feels that I am, I will have a follow-up appointment this Friday with my usual doctor to set up the IVF. If he does not feel that I am ready, this will be another battle lost (not to mention another huge devastation) and then I will move on to the Metabolic Center in October. The last time I was referred to Metabolic, they did clear me for my first cycle of Clomid so hopefully, if need be, they will clear me again!

It has been nearly 3 whole months since I last saw any doctor for TTC. I have tried to monitor my glucose as much as possible; I test myself at least a few times a week, eat healthier, exercise more, and take my medication regularly. I haven’t lost much weight itself but I feel healthier so something is working. Most importantly, I have taken the last few months to pick up the shattered pieces, re-group, and re-focus because that last round really knocked the wind out of me and I needed to rebuild my strength to handle the next round(s) of whatever comes my way!

The question I continue to hear most often is “how do you have the strength to go through all of this”? And my answer remains the same; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am now 31 years old and I have come through so much in my life already. It wouldn’t be MY life if there weren’t any hurdles in the way. In order to get where I am today in one piece I had to learn to be strong, independent, and determined. With my past and with so much support from family and friends I have more than enough of my own army to get through any battle I may face in the future!

We will see what tomorrow brings...