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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Yin and Yang

In all yin there is yang and in all yang there is yin. Each exists in the other and each needs the other to exist; man and woman, day and night, good and evil, positive and negative…

Earlier this week I was speaking to one of my (very pregnant) neighbors and she got me thinking…

Everywhere you go you hear success stories about both natural and assisted pregnancies. In the waiting rooms at the fertility clinics there are always newspaper articles, thank-you cards, pictures and even babies surrounding you – which can be quite hard to handle at times when your results were not what you were expecting. Even in fertility counseling, the majority of the time you hear all about the success of treatment and they focus the majority of their attention on the POSITIVE. You hear so many encouraging stories and advice from friends, family, counselors, and even the doctors that you start to believe that no matter what happens you WILL get pregnant.

But there is a NEGATIVE side to all of this that few people talk about. Side effects, failed procedures, damage to your body, depression, loss, anger, emotional and physical stress… the list goes on and on... but nobody tells you these things. Nobody tells you “there is a 50/50 chance that this might not work so you need to be prepared for the worst” when it is a very possible outcome.

Either naturally or assisted, I know some people who were successful on their very first try, others on their 5th or 6th attempt, and others who have tried countless times who are still unsuccessful. Having all of these women to refer to and talk to and seek advice from makes me stronger. It keeps me informed and it keeps my head out of the clouds, away from high (and possibly false) hopes.

Don’t get me wrong! I am staying positive, I do not admit defeat and won’t for a very long time… but I know that it IS a possibility and I accept that.

Maybe it’s just me, but I want to hear both sides. I don’t want to hear all of the positives day after day, month after month, and year after year only to be (possibly) completely deflated and let down at the end, crying out “why didn’t anyone prepare me for this”? To me, knowing both the positive and the negative is what gives me the will to go through with everything as well as the cushion to fall back on when and if needed. Being informed is what makes me strong and gives me the energy to deal with all of this.

I acknowledge and accept the reality that there are no guarantees where fertility and conception are concerned! I am not trying to be depressing... just realistic.