And today I started a "secret" board for all things PCOS related. In my search I found the image below and I could not have said it better myself so I just had to share!
Monday, December 30, 2013
I Love Pinterest
If you don't already know what Pinterest is, look it up! It took me a while to get into it but now I am hooked! The only down side is that it is basically pretty bookmarks to other pages on the internet, so if there is something you really love make a copy before it's gone! For example, I found a lot of Christmas related things recently that I would really like to use in the future, traditions and such. So, I started a PowerPoint file with all of the things I found, descriptions and pictures included. I will keep adding to this file and hopefully one day put it all into practice. I also added some of our own traditions to the file and its coming along quite nicely. I will make other files for other stuff over time and possibly print them all into a binder to have on hand.
And today I started a "secret" board for all things PCOS related. In my search I found the image below and I could not have said it better myself so I just had to share!
And today I started a "secret" board for all things PCOS related. In my search I found the image below and I could not have said it better myself so I just had to share!
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
It's Christmas Eve!
We wish everyone Happy Holidays and best wishes for the New Year!
On vous souhait Joyeuses Fêtes et meilleurs vœux pour le Nouvel An!
Augurando a tutti un Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo!
On vous souhait Joyeuses Fêtes et meilleurs vœux pour le Nouvel An!
Augurando a tutti un Buon Natale e Felice Anno Nuovo!
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
I'm An Aunt Again!
The title says it all! My second niece arrived this morning at 8am! As far as I know, everyone is doing well. We won't be seeing them until tomorrow at the earliest but I can't wait!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Just An Observation...
There are two people in my life who mean the world to me... ok well, more than that... but these two in particular! One is like a mother to me and the other is the closest thing I have had to a sister all these years. And you know what's weird? I think somewhere, on another planet or something, we MUST be related because we are all too much alike not to be! Just sayin'...
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Kinks and Quirks
“What is kinky? Something with kinks or twists. Well that’s all of us, isn’t it?
It’s just a matter of finding who fits with your kinks.
To be loved unconditionally... that would be something.”
It’s just a matter of finding who fits with your kinks.
To be loved unconditionally... that would be something.”
We all have our kinks and quirks, some WAY more than others! My whole life I have been surrounded by people with OCD as well so I am very familiar with creatures of habit. And, like everyone, I have many quirks of my own too; some that I try and break over time, others that I see no need to mess with. So, just for fun I started to put together a list of ones I recognize… and hopefully one day I can look back on these and laugh about them!
1) I cannot and will not eat out at a restaurant alone; not even fast food! I would rather starve. And, especially over the holidays, I hate seeing others eating alone too... it’s sad.
2) I habitually eat the same food over and over (yes, often day after day) until I basically become bored with it and don’t want to see it again for months! And this loss of interest can sometimes happen overnight, which is awesome when you have gone out and bought 10 of your favorite item the day before! Currently: Tim Horton’s steeped tea and a cinnamon raisin bagel with butter.
3) I hate wearing shoes. Even in the office, I am usually wandering in socks.
4) Ironically, my background is in design but I have a weakness for symmetry and patterns. For example, if I ever ask you to hang something on the wall for me I can almost guarantee you will not get it right on the first try. Unless you are DH… he has learned.
5) I have a lot of DVD's and I love re-watching some series over and over again. Whatever is not displayed on a shelf is arranged alphabetically. Don’t mess with them, you’ve been warned.
6) I will not wash my clothes in someone else’s machine and I will not wash someone else’s clothes with my own – even DH’s. Only exception, when we return home from vacation. I want to get things washed so quickly I don’t care who’s is with what!
7) I have two special pairs of underwear in my drawer. One means you need to do laundry soon, and the other means if you don’t do it tonight you are going commando tomorrow!
8) I have an inability to pronounce certain words unless I take my time, like cinnamon (usually comes out more like synonym) and icing (which is usually “icining” which is not a word). There are many others that I just can’t think of right now!
9) I have a totally irrational fear of spiders and birds, but if someone around me has a greater fear of these things then I am fine enough to protect them!
10) I am afraid of heights, but I love flying and roller coasters and I want to skydive and do the CN tower “Edge Walk”. Similarly, afraid of guns but want to go to a firing range. Conquering fears maybe?
If you can think of something I have forgotten, please send it to me. I will keep adding to this list from time to time!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
December Updates
“Not every story is meant to be explained.”
Khloe Kardashian, via Twitter
Khloe Kardashian, via Twitter
Did I just quote a Kardashian? What is happening to me this year?
Anyhow, it’s December. Everyone around me seems so festive and excited about the holidays but, as usual, I really couldn’t care less. The most I am looking forward to are the full two weeks off and the time I will finally get to spend with DH after he has been gone for the better (or worst) part of the last three months! I don’t hate the holidays; I just have very little interest in them for various reasons. Maybe this will change one day, maybe not. We will see!
Every year I usually end up with an internal battle about putting up one of our Christmas trees (we have a small one and a huge one to choose from) because DH doesn’t really care, but it was actually easy this year because I was so fed up last year that I just shoved the small tree in a garbage bag at the end of the season with the lights and star still on it so all I had to do was pull it out of storage! I tried to help the neighbor string her outdoor lights up, and after seeing her tree and all of her decorations I decided digging the tree out wasn’t so bad. I didn’t bother with all the ornaments though, just the lights. They are such a pain to take out of all the boxes and put away afterwards. But, I am evening thinking of putting the huge tree in the basement to surprise DH when he gets home – maybe – and I might put some ornaments on that one or it will look kind of bare.
What else?
Oh, my nephew is getting stronger and more handsome by the day! Despite the hurdles he has faced these last few months, he is doing remarkably well! He is a strong, just like his Mama, and there is nothing they cannot conquer together! Although I haven’t seen him in person since September, I get to see pictures and videos nearly every day and I am in love with the little guy! Now, if only we could get that Skype date in one of these days…. maybe tonight?
As usual this month is crazy busy, but it seems I have managed to get a pretty good schedule together this year! I have been trying to combine a lot of things too to keep things a bit cheaper. Why have 3 separate brunches when you can all come together for one, right? Everybody knows each other anyhow! Still have a couple of one-on-one things lined up but they are with people I don’t see as often so I want to keep it that way.
And, any day now, my SIL will be bringing baby #2 into the family! I volunteered to take #1 away from her but she said no… hrmph… fine! Anyhow, more on that when it happens! I just hope, for her sake, she doesn’t spend Christmas in the hospital – but I don’t think she will get that far.
And, lastly, I got some blood test results back today and I am not happy about them at all! I should be meeting with the doctor next week to go over the numbers. Hopefully I am just overreacting… we shall see!
Monday, November 25, 2013
The Present
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation...
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
“Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present…”
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation...
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'
Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
“Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present…”
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
November Updates
It seems my previous post about palm trees being in my future was premature! With DH's travel schedule it just won't happen. We will still go in spring though, like usual, only longer. Maybe two whole weeks for our anniversary!
And, speaking of his schedule... he came home last Thursday and left again on Monday. This month, he will be gone all week and home on weekends before he takes off for another 2-3 weeks on the West Coast. We are trying to make the most of it but it is still hard and it is slowly taking its toll on both of us. Two days a week is not enough! In fact, this weekend is already completely full! In addition the the usual house stuff to take care of (I hate fall chores by the way - picking up leaves, ick!), we have to go to the garage with both cars for oil and tires and we have some family obligations to take care of as well. Even going to the garage together is a luxury at this point because we would usually just do it ourselves!
In order to spend some time together this weekend, I just booked a couple of massages early Sunday morning. Ironically, our time together will be spent apart but we both need this right now! No distractions, no interruptions, no cellphones, no family or friends... just peace and quiet. I am not even going to say which spa I booked for fear of people looking for us! It is one of the three I frequent, maybe... have fun hunting!
Actually, booking the spa was amusing. After choosing your package, they ask if you want a male or a female masseuse. By default I asked for female, but then I hesitated and was tempted to ask if their males were built like roman gods! Hey, I wouldn't mind! But I stuck with female for both of us... sigh.
Recently someone commented on how often we splurge (in their opinion) and they mentioned that they felt it was a bit excessive. And, you know what, to many it might be; but when you balance a once in a blue moon spa outing with weeks apart from one another - I don't think it is. We work hard for what we have, and while it might seem like splurging to some, I can assure anyone that our savings are just fine! I am not a millionaire, but I know how to manage my finances thank you very much.
Honestly, this "lifestyle" does kind of sucks right now... but I am thankful; for my home, DH, the people surrounding me, the support I have, and the opportunities I get the rest of the year because of our successes. I take the bad with the good I suppose and I am hardly ungrateful. It is what it is!
And, speaking of his schedule... he came home last Thursday and left again on Monday. This month, he will be gone all week and home on weekends before he takes off for another 2-3 weeks on the West Coast. We are trying to make the most of it but it is still hard and it is slowly taking its toll on both of us. Two days a week is not enough! In fact, this weekend is already completely full! In addition the the usual house stuff to take care of (I hate fall chores by the way - picking up leaves, ick!), we have to go to the garage with both cars for oil and tires and we have some family obligations to take care of as well. Even going to the garage together is a luxury at this point because we would usually just do it ourselves!
In order to spend some time together this weekend, I just booked a couple of massages early Sunday morning. Ironically, our time together will be spent apart but we both need this right now! No distractions, no interruptions, no cellphones, no family or friends... just peace and quiet. I am not even going to say which spa I booked for fear of people looking for us! It is one of the three I frequent, maybe... have fun hunting!
Actually, booking the spa was amusing. After choosing your package, they ask if you want a male or a female masseuse. By default I asked for female, but then I hesitated and was tempted to ask if their males were built like roman gods! Hey, I wouldn't mind! But I stuck with female for both of us... sigh.
Recently someone commented on how often we splurge (in their opinion) and they mentioned that they felt it was a bit excessive. And, you know what, to many it might be; but when you balance a once in a blue moon spa outing with weeks apart from one another - I don't think it is. We work hard for what we have, and while it might seem like splurging to some, I can assure anyone that our savings are just fine! I am not a millionaire, but I know how to manage my finances thank you very much.
Honestly, this "lifestyle" does kind of sucks right now... but I am thankful; for my home, DH, the people surrounding me, the support I have, and the opportunities I get the rest of the year because of our successes. I take the bad with the good I suppose and I am hardly ungrateful. It is what it is!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Irony At Its Best
I was talking to an old friend last night and that’s when I realized something… he has very little time in his life for a relationship but he would truly like to be in one and he wants to share everything in his world with someone special. Whereas I have all the time in the world (although it doesn’t feel that way lately), and someone very special to share it with, but because of his job he is frequently not home!
It’s funny how these things happen…
DH’s amount of travelling changes frequently throughout the year, but at this particular moment I find it excessive. Long story short, from mid-September until the holidays in December he will be away far more than he will be home to say the least (insert upside-down frown here). Frustrating? You bet!
I took my cues on how to be a work widow from a very good friend of mine who was going through this when we first met. Without her, I don’t think I would have been able to handle all of this… especially not in the beginning. I was thinking about this the other day when something interesting popped into my head. When her other half would travel for work, she would frequently go and stay with her parents at their house even though she had a home of her own right next to work and everything! Back then, this was the only thing about her ways of coping that I didn’t really understand. Maybe, in part, because I am not close to my family? I don’t know, I just always thought it was a bit strange but I never said anything to her about it (well, I guess she will know now lol). Anyway, the point is… I get it now! I really, really, do!
Being alone sucks! Two cats and two fish don’t make up for human contact! The only problem for me is that I am also a really bad guest when I am alone! I need to be in my own environment to feel comfortable, especially if I am under stress. Or I need to be with DH – wherever he and I are, as long as we are together, feels like home (awe). But when we are apart, the only home that feels like HOME to me is MY home. I would rather play host than guest I suppose. And you know what? Maybe I should start! At least until we have kids… because I am convinced that when we do this will no longer be an issue for me. I need to start having sleepovers or something. We now have two actual guestrooms and two sofas to choose from as well, so why not? Right?
Any takers?
It’s funny how these things happen…
DH’s amount of travelling changes frequently throughout the year, but at this particular moment I find it excessive. Long story short, from mid-September until the holidays in December he will be away far more than he will be home to say the least (insert upside-down frown here). Frustrating? You bet!
I took my cues on how to be a work widow from a very good friend of mine who was going through this when we first met. Without her, I don’t think I would have been able to handle all of this… especially not in the beginning. I was thinking about this the other day when something interesting popped into my head. When her other half would travel for work, she would frequently go and stay with her parents at their house even though she had a home of her own right next to work and everything! Back then, this was the only thing about her ways of coping that I didn’t really understand. Maybe, in part, because I am not close to my family? I don’t know, I just always thought it was a bit strange but I never said anything to her about it (well, I guess she will know now lol). Anyway, the point is… I get it now! I really, really, do!
Being alone sucks! Two cats and two fish don’t make up for human contact! The only problem for me is that I am also a really bad guest when I am alone! I need to be in my own environment to feel comfortable, especially if I am under stress. Or I need to be with DH – wherever he and I are, as long as we are together, feels like home (awe). But when we are apart, the only home that feels like HOME to me is MY home. I would rather play host than guest I suppose. And you know what? Maybe I should start! At least until we have kids… because I am convinced that when we do this will no longer be an issue for me. I need to start having sleepovers or something. We now have two actual guestrooms and two sofas to choose from as well, so why not? Right?
Any takers?
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Ahhh...
It looks like there will be palm trees in my near distant future!!! I can't wait!!! Please, please, please work out!!!
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Four Little Miracles!
I first saw this story on Bethenny and knew I had to share. It's incredible!
Infertility Struggles Brings Sisters Together
By: Ellie Merritt (edited, full story here)
Millions of women across the country face the same heartbreak of infertility. They yearn for a baby and struggle to get pregnant.
It's a pain 33-year old Annie Johnston knows well.
"I think every girl that wants to have a family just assumes that she's going to get pregnant…it was just heartbreaking for us and we just always had bad news to share," said Johnston who struggled with infertility for five years and had turned to reproductive specialists for help.
... Johnston and her husband Joby tried fertility treatments, including in vitro fertilization twice. Still, after years of trying, the loving, young couple was childless. Annie hadn't even had one positive pregnancy test in all the years she had been trying to conceive.
... Annie didn't have the baby she had hoped for, but she did have an older sister to turn to who had watched Annie struggle through infertility.
... Chrissy, already having two children of her own, made a loving, self-less offer to her sister.
"I just want you to know that I'd be more than happy to carry if that would help you to have a family," said Chrissy. She was offering to be a gestational carrier and running out of options, Annie took her up on that offer.
... Doctors implanted embryos in Chrissy, and since Annie was on the same cycle, they decided to implant embryos in her too, just to give it one more try.
... Four embryos, two sisters -- hoping for just one baby. Then, they got the call from the doctor.
"She started off by saying she had double great news and we just gasped," Annie said.
Both the women were pregnant.
At the first ultrasound for both women, Annie and Chrissy heard heartbeats of hope. First, there was one heartbeat. Then another. And another. And another.
Four heartbeats -- four babies -- in all...
Infertility Struggles Brings Sisters Together
By: Ellie Merritt (edited, full story here)
Millions of women across the country face the same heartbreak of infertility. They yearn for a baby and struggle to get pregnant.
It's a pain 33-year old Annie Johnston knows well.
"I think every girl that wants to have a family just assumes that she's going to get pregnant…it was just heartbreaking for us and we just always had bad news to share," said Johnston who struggled with infertility for five years and had turned to reproductive specialists for help.
... Johnston and her husband Joby tried fertility treatments, including in vitro fertilization twice. Still, after years of trying, the loving, young couple was childless. Annie hadn't even had one positive pregnancy test in all the years she had been trying to conceive.
... Annie didn't have the baby she had hoped for, but she did have an older sister to turn to who had watched Annie struggle through infertility.
... Chrissy, already having two children of her own, made a loving, self-less offer to her sister.
"I just want you to know that I'd be more than happy to carry if that would help you to have a family," said Chrissy. She was offering to be a gestational carrier and running out of options, Annie took her up on that offer.
... Doctors implanted embryos in Chrissy, and since Annie was on the same cycle, they decided to implant embryos in her too, just to give it one more try.
... Four embryos, two sisters -- hoping for just one baby. Then, they got the call from the doctor.
"She started off by saying she had double great news and we just gasped," Annie said.
Both the women were pregnant.
At the first ultrasound for both women, Annie and Chrissy heard heartbeats of hope. First, there was one heartbeat. Then another. And another. And another.
Four heartbeats -- four babies -- in all...
Thursday, October 17, 2013
11 Times 'Sex And The City' Actually Got It Right
Borrowed from Huffington Post - written by Leigh Weingus
As the New Yorkers of 2013 choose Brooklyn over Manhattan, cheap beer over Cosmos and sales over Soho, "Sex And The City" is consistently slammed for its unrealistic plot lines and false expectations.
We get it, and we even get why Carrie Bradshaw is considered kind of annoying -- she did say she would rather read Vogue than eat -- but there were a few times when Carrie and her friends hit the nail on the head.
As the New Yorkers of 2013 choose Brooklyn over Manhattan, cheap beer over Cosmos and sales over Soho, "Sex And The City" is consistently slammed for its unrealistic plot lines and false expectations.
We get it, and we even get why Carrie Bradshaw is considered kind of annoying -- she did say she would rather read Vogue than eat -- but there were a few times when Carrie and her friends hit the nail on the head.
- "Friendships don't magically last 40 years. You have to invest in them."
- "The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor."
- "You and I are like that red wall. It's a good idea in theory, but somehow it doesn't quite work."
- "Life gives you lots of chances to screw up which means you have just as many chances to get it right."
- "Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better."
- "As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, would, should, buckle up and just keep going."
- "You shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are just because somebody else has a problem with it."
- "Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be."
- "No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends."
- "Eventually all the pieces fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason."
- "The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous."
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Co-Worker Friend Turned Foe
Ugh! So frustrated… I need advice please!
I have this co-worker/friend that “burned his bridges” long ago (over a year), not only with myself but with other co-workers as well, if not ALL of them. In recent months this co-worker seems to be trying to make amends with each and every one of us, but none of us are buying it from what I can see. However, I can only speak for myself.
Those of you who know me personally know that I can be pretty clear about what I want without really saying a word and this is where I am stuck.
We are co-workers, if I could even call us that seeing as we don’t really work together at all. To many we would have seemed like friends I guess, but I would have considered it to be more of a co-worker friendship or an occasional outside of work acquaintance at most. But that was all in the past, long ago. We have not really talked to one another for over a year now and many things have changed. But now, this person has been coming to my office more in the last couple of months than ever before (even when we WERE friends or whatever) and has been driving me crazy! They think that after all this time has passed, not to mention bridges burned that I don’t really want to get into, they can just come in… close my door… sit down… and start chatting about my personal life with me like nothing has happened?
I have not allowed myself to talk “personal” and I have kept everything I’ve said related only to the job. I have been short, busy and dismissive each time. I have blocked and deleted this person from Facebook. I do not answer the phone when they call. I do not include this person on lunch invitations or anything else I involve other co-workers in. I thought that I had made myself pretty clear! But this person keeps coming back to try again and I am NOT interested at ALL!
A part of me wants to pick up the phone, send an email or confront this person face to face… but the rest of me says don’t waste your time, just keep doing what you’ve been doing and eventually they will get it. But will they? I know that this is not a relationship that I wish to salvage in the least, but we WILL cross paths so I would like things to be civil at least. I think. Maybe. I don’t know… help!
I have this co-worker/friend that “burned his bridges” long ago (over a year), not only with myself but with other co-workers as well, if not ALL of them. In recent months this co-worker seems to be trying to make amends with each and every one of us, but none of us are buying it from what I can see. However, I can only speak for myself.
Those of you who know me personally know that I can be pretty clear about what I want without really saying a word and this is where I am stuck.
We are co-workers, if I could even call us that seeing as we don’t really work together at all. To many we would have seemed like friends I guess, but I would have considered it to be more of a co-worker friendship or an occasional outside of work acquaintance at most. But that was all in the past, long ago. We have not really talked to one another for over a year now and many things have changed. But now, this person has been coming to my office more in the last couple of months than ever before (even when we WERE friends or whatever) and has been driving me crazy! They think that after all this time has passed, not to mention bridges burned that I don’t really want to get into, they can just come in… close my door… sit down… and start chatting about my personal life with me like nothing has happened?
I have not allowed myself to talk “personal” and I have kept everything I’ve said related only to the job. I have been short, busy and dismissive each time. I have blocked and deleted this person from Facebook. I do not answer the phone when they call. I do not include this person on lunch invitations or anything else I involve other co-workers in. I thought that I had made myself pretty clear! But this person keeps coming back to try again and I am NOT interested at ALL!
A part of me wants to pick up the phone, send an email or confront this person face to face… but the rest of me says don’t waste your time, just keep doing what you’ve been doing and eventually they will get it. But will they? I know that this is not a relationship that I wish to salvage in the least, but we WILL cross paths so I would like things to be civil at least. I think. Maybe. I don’t know… help!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Open Letter: To My Hair Dryer
To my evil, possessed, hair dryer… I hate you!
When I left the house yesterday, I thought it was going to be just like any other day… but you proved me wrong! So wrong!
Like every other morning, I got up and had my shower and then proceeded to dry my hair. When I was done, I turned you off and put you down on the floor in my office where you always are. Afterwards, I got dressed, did my make-up and went downstairs to feed the cats etc… and because DH is away I was actually 10 minutes early! I left the house, happy to be early, and went off to work.
After work I met up with a friend for dinner so I wasn’t home at my usual time. Actually, it was about 9pm by the time he dropped me off, and from the outside of my house nothing looked out of place. The lights were off, the big ugly spider was still on my front stairs, and the garbage can was outside reminding me I had to clean the cat litter today.
But inside… this was another story, wasn’t it?
When I went in I heard the sound of a motor running. The cats were running around meowing and one of them kept pawing at my office door. That was when I realized it was coming from inside my office. Was it the aquarium filter blowing up? Was my computer freaking out? What was it?
As I went up the stairs my house felt very hot. I opened my office door with hesitation and what did I find? A steamy room, a hot floor, and you… in the on position, blowing away! I picked you up and turned you off but you were hot to touch. Even my aquarium was warm! How long had you been on? Had you been on since morning? How did you turn on? The door was closed… was someone in the house?
After searching every single room and closet in my house looking for an intruder like a mad woman, I started to look online for reasons why you would do this. I found everything from scientific explanations to fluke to the paranormal. Whatever it was, it seems the best thing to do was unplug you so I did. I plugged you back in this morning for a bit and it seems like 2/3 of your coils are no longer working and you burnt yourself out in the process of freaking me out too. Why would you do that?
So, whether you were trying to scare me or just trying to commit hair dryer suicide I believe you are possessed. You may have run up my Hydro bill, but at least you didn’t burn the house down! I don’t know what I ever did to you to deserve this, but I know what I am going to do to you now! Next Tuesday, garbage night, will be your last night in my house. Your time is up Mr. Hair Dryer!
Good-bye Vidal Sassoon model VS773F… you will not be missed!
When I left the house yesterday, I thought it was going to be just like any other day… but you proved me wrong! So wrong!
Like every other morning, I got up and had my shower and then proceeded to dry my hair. When I was done, I turned you off and put you down on the floor in my office where you always are. Afterwards, I got dressed, did my make-up and went downstairs to feed the cats etc… and because DH is away I was actually 10 minutes early! I left the house, happy to be early, and went off to work.
After work I met up with a friend for dinner so I wasn’t home at my usual time. Actually, it was about 9pm by the time he dropped me off, and from the outside of my house nothing looked out of place. The lights were off, the big ugly spider was still on my front stairs, and the garbage can was outside reminding me I had to clean the cat litter today.
But inside… this was another story, wasn’t it?
When I went in I heard the sound of a motor running. The cats were running around meowing and one of them kept pawing at my office door. That was when I realized it was coming from inside my office. Was it the aquarium filter blowing up? Was my computer freaking out? What was it?
As I went up the stairs my house felt very hot. I opened my office door with hesitation and what did I find? A steamy room, a hot floor, and you… in the on position, blowing away! I picked you up and turned you off but you were hot to touch. Even my aquarium was warm! How long had you been on? Had you been on since morning? How did you turn on? The door was closed… was someone in the house?
After searching every single room and closet in my house looking for an intruder like a mad woman, I started to look online for reasons why you would do this. I found everything from scientific explanations to fluke to the paranormal. Whatever it was, it seems the best thing to do was unplug you so I did. I plugged you back in this morning for a bit and it seems like 2/3 of your coils are no longer working and you burnt yourself out in the process of freaking me out too. Why would you do that?
So, whether you were trying to scare me or just trying to commit hair dryer suicide I believe you are possessed. You may have run up my Hydro bill, but at least you didn’t burn the house down! I don’t know what I ever did to you to deserve this, but I know what I am going to do to you now! Next Tuesday, garbage night, will be your last night in my house. Your time is up Mr. Hair Dryer!
Good-bye Vidal Sassoon model VS773F… you will not be missed!
Friday, September 20, 2013
Welcome To Holland
The last couple of weeks have been a bit... difficult. Knowing that a new little life has begun in such a difficult way has been trying, and finding out just two days ago that his fight is nowhere near over was heartbreaking... until I read this.
I love Italy, and it is my dream in more ways than one... but Holland has it's treasures too!
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
I love Italy, and it is my dream in more ways than one... but Holland has it's treasures too!
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Matthew 25:31-46
Someone shared this story on Facebook this morning and I felt a need to do the same, here, for many reasons. I am far from religious, but I certainly have a great respect for humanity and this story spoke to me. But, before I post it, I want to share something with you first.
Years ago I went out for dinner and, as usual, had far too much food in front of me. I ate about half of what I had ordered and asked for the rest of the meal to go. As I was walking down the street it dawned on me that I really did not feel like carrying this bag of food around with me for the rest of the night, especially not on the metro and bus going home. So, I found a trashcan and was about to throw it out when I spotted a homeless man out of the corner of my eye and in that moment I had an epiphany... I hate leftovers! In fact, when I have them I usually end up throwing them away the next day. So, what if instead of taking my food to go and throwing it out I gave it to someone who needed it? And that is what I did that day and have done ever since. I am not sure how he felt about leftover Calamari and pasta but it would suit me fine! Think about it… food for thought!
Anyhow, on to the story… It seems that this whole thing may be a work of fiction or a compilation of true stories sewn together – but whatever it is, the message it illustrates is important…
Church Members Mistreat Homeless Man in Church Unaware It Is Their Pastor in Disguise (no original source - sorry)
Pastor Jeremiah Steepek (pictured below) transformed himself into a homeless person and went to the 10,000 member church that he was to be introduced as the head pastor at that morning. He walked around his soon to be church for 30 minutes while it was filling with people for service, only 3 people out of the 7-10,000 people said hello to him. He asked people for change to buy food - NO ONE in the church gave him change. He went into the sanctuary to sit down in the front of the church and was asked by the ushers if he would please sit n the back. He greeted people to be greeted back with stares and dirty looks, with people looking down on him and judging him.
Years ago I went out for dinner and, as usual, had far too much food in front of me. I ate about half of what I had ordered and asked for the rest of the meal to go. As I was walking down the street it dawned on me that I really did not feel like carrying this bag of food around with me for the rest of the night, especially not on the metro and bus going home. So, I found a trashcan and was about to throw it out when I spotted a homeless man out of the corner of my eye and in that moment I had an epiphany... I hate leftovers! In fact, when I have them I usually end up throwing them away the next day. So, what if instead of taking my food to go and throwing it out I gave it to someone who needed it? And that is what I did that day and have done ever since. I am not sure how he felt about leftover Calamari and pasta but it would suit me fine! Think about it… food for thought!
Anyhow, on to the story… It seems that this whole thing may be a work of fiction or a compilation of true stories sewn together – but whatever it is, the message it illustrates is important…
Church Members Mistreat Homeless Man in Church Unaware It Is Their Pastor in Disguise (no original source - sorry)
Pastor Jeremiah Steepek (pictured below) transformed himself into a homeless person and went to the 10,000 member church that he was to be introduced as the head pastor at that morning. He walked around his soon to be church for 30 minutes while it was filling with people for service, only 3 people out of the 7-10,000 people said hello to him. He asked people for change to buy food - NO ONE in the church gave him change. He went into the sanctuary to sit down in the front of the church and was asked by the ushers if he would please sit n the back. He greeted people to be greeted back with stares and dirty looks, with people looking down on him and judging him.
Monday, September 16, 2013
September Is Flying By!
The summer went by so quickly, and now we are already half way through September. Can you believe it? It will be Christmas before we know it! Back to school was CRAZY this year (which is why I haven’t been posting) but it is finally calming down! Now I get to play catch up from the last two weeks and try to get ahead on next week since I won’t be here all at once! Fun!
So, where were we last?
My birthday weekend was a blast! Not because of my birthday but because of the huge wedding the day before. My little bride was beautiful and the groom, casual and cool as always. And the flower girl was the cutest thing ever… my niece of course! The priest was half an hour late but kept things short and sweet and then it was on to the party. The hall was decorated beautifully, the food was very good, and things seemed to be perfect as far as I could tell. The happy couple is still on their honeymoon and I can’t wait for them to get back so we can look through all their pictures and see their new home! I miss you guys!
My birthday itself was quiet; a trip to the pet store and dinner at The Keg with DH. Exactly what I wanted! It hasn’t all turned out well though. I got a Betta and four Tetras for my new aquarium and by the following week they had all died! I think the Betta hunted the Tetras and then got sick from bacteria in the water. I tried to medicate him but he didn’t make it. Sigh. And, my gift from DH has been a total train wreck, but I am still working on that one so I won't bore you with the details just yet.
Labour Day weekend we went camping in Lake Placid again with our new big tent and did a lot of nothing. It was nice to do nothing for once! Of course I had to get sick right before we left but the fresh air actually seemed to help a lot. I think I have a new cure for my constant sinus infections!
Also on Labour Day weekend, my nephew finally made his appearance! He didn’t like August it seems so he chose September 1st! Unfortunately his first couple of weeks haven’t gone as expected, and he still hasn’t seen his beautiful room that his Mommy and Daddy built for him, but hopefully he will go home soon! In either case, I am on my way there this weekend to meet him for the first time and I can’t wait!
To replace the Betta/Tetra disaster, I went out yesterday and bought two Angel Goldfish instead. They should be more resilient so we will see how this goes… I consider them to be like goats of the sea – eat anything and not care if the water isn’t perfect – so hopefully these ones will last longer!
Anyhow, that’s it for now. Break over, back to work!
So, where were we last?
My birthday weekend was a blast! Not because of my birthday but because of the huge wedding the day before. My little bride was beautiful and the groom, casual and cool as always. And the flower girl was the cutest thing ever… my niece of course! The priest was half an hour late but kept things short and sweet and then it was on to the party. The hall was decorated beautifully, the food was very good, and things seemed to be perfect as far as I could tell. The happy couple is still on their honeymoon and I can’t wait for them to get back so we can look through all their pictures and see their new home! I miss you guys!
My birthday itself was quiet; a trip to the pet store and dinner at The Keg with DH. Exactly what I wanted! It hasn’t all turned out well though. I got a Betta and four Tetras for my new aquarium and by the following week they had all died! I think the Betta hunted the Tetras and then got sick from bacteria in the water. I tried to medicate him but he didn’t make it. Sigh. And, my gift from DH has been a total train wreck, but I am still working on that one so I won't bore you with the details just yet.
Labour Day weekend we went camping in Lake Placid again with our new big tent and did a lot of nothing. It was nice to do nothing for once! Of course I had to get sick right before we left but the fresh air actually seemed to help a lot. I think I have a new cure for my constant sinus infections!
Also on Labour Day weekend, my nephew finally made his appearance! He didn’t like August it seems so he chose September 1st! Unfortunately his first couple of weeks haven’t gone as expected, and he still hasn’t seen his beautiful room that his Mommy and Daddy built for him, but hopefully he will go home soon! In either case, I am on my way there this weekend to meet him for the first time and I can’t wait!
To replace the Betta/Tetra disaster, I went out yesterday and bought two Angel Goldfish instead. They should be more resilient so we will see how this goes… I consider them to be like goats of the sea – eat anything and not care if the water isn’t perfect – so hopefully these ones will last longer!
Anyhow, that’s it for now. Break over, back to work!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Open Letter: Betta Fish
As most people know by now, I am obsessed with Betta fish! DH got me one about four years ago and I have had at least one, often two, ever since. Usually they live for quite some time under my care, or they die incredibly fast so I assume they are sick before I even get them. However, my current fish (Romeo) is driving me crazy!!! He has been "playing dead" since about February now. I swore when I went on vacation then he would be dead by the time I returned but he is still alive, although you wouldn't know it from the way he looks! So, I started researching solutions again this morning and I came across a hilarious "open letter" someone wrote to their Betta and I just had to re-post it because I can relate so well!
An Open Letter to My Dead Betta Fish, Daisy, by Shawna Foster
Dear Daisy,
When the worker fell through our ceiling, he thought of everything he could. He immediately vacuumed up all the insulation that had been rotting in our rafters since the 1950s and now covered our home like snowfall. He sucked so hard he broke the Dyson. He cleaned every speck of dust on all the surfaces he could see, anticipating our intense rage of a 6 × 3 foot man-shaped hole in the ceiling.
He did not think of you, Daisy. He did not realize that your fancy fountain open-top tank allowed pounds of insulation to fall in. The material possessions did not matter to me as much as you did, Daisy, but he didn’t think of you. You didn’t give a shit then, Daisy. You’re a Betta fish. Shit falls in your tank and you eat it. You ate a lot of insulation, Daisy. And you were doomed. So why did you take so long to die?
An Open Letter to My Dead Betta Fish, Daisy, by Shawna Foster
Dear Daisy,
When the worker fell through our ceiling, he thought of everything he could. He immediately vacuumed up all the insulation that had been rotting in our rafters since the 1950s and now covered our home like snowfall. He sucked so hard he broke the Dyson. He cleaned every speck of dust on all the surfaces he could see, anticipating our intense rage of a 6 × 3 foot man-shaped hole in the ceiling.
He did not think of you, Daisy. He did not realize that your fancy fountain open-top tank allowed pounds of insulation to fall in. The material possessions did not matter to me as much as you did, Daisy, but he didn’t think of you. You didn’t give a shit then, Daisy. You’re a Betta fish. Shit falls in your tank and you eat it. You ate a lot of insulation, Daisy. And you were doomed. So why did you take so long to die?
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Condolences...
"Children often have imaginary playmates.
I suspect that half of them are really their guardian angels."
I suspect that half of them are really their guardian angels."
With a nephew on the way any day, I was hoping my next post would be good news but unfortunately it is not. I won't go into details, but I do want to extend my deepest sympathies to my little sister on the loss of her grandfather yesterday. It is tragic timing, but it is simply out of our control. I am sure that he and Nanny are smiling down on you and will be with you every step of the way now.
I love you and I am always here if you need something!
Monday, August 19, 2013
August Updates Pt. 2
We just got back from our mini vacation with the family and I am happy to report that things went really well overall. Yes, there were a few "jump in a lake" and "swim with the fishes"moments - both literally and figuratively - but, for a 4-day trip including DH and all of my in-laws (did I forget to mention that before) it could have been worse! In fact, I only read 2 chapters of one book so that should say something! This doesn't mean I am ready to travel in a pack again any time soon but it may be possible again, one day! And, now I know what to do if I ever win the lottery... move out of the city, and into a lakefront property in nowheresville!
Now, 3.5 days of work followed by another long weekend ahead... next stop... ginormous Italian/Portuguese wedding!!!
Ps. No appearance of my first little nephew yet.... but he has an awesome gift I picked up waiting for him! Actually, I think it's more for his daddy but, oh well!
Now, 3.5 days of work followed by another long weekend ahead... next stop... ginormous Italian/Portuguese wedding!!!
Ps. No appearance of my first little nephew yet.... but he has an awesome gift I picked up waiting for him! Actually, I think it's more for his daddy but, oh well!
Thursday, August 15, 2013
August Updates
“I restore myself when I'm alone.”
Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe
This summer
has been ridiculously busy, and the next couple of weeks will be no different -
if not worse!
Went to the
eye doctor yesterday and while my prescription hasn’t changed all that much, a
new type of lens may make a world of difference! They are anti-fatigue lenses
and seeing as I am on the computer almost all day, every day, it should help
with strain and the resulting headaches that follow. I have tried something
similar in the past and they were awful but these sound much better! I want to
research them a bit more though. I also found frames that I fell in love with
(like, didn’t want to take them off in the store), but they are 200$ on top of
special extra expensive lenses so… not any time soon! When things calm down I
am going to shop around and see what I can find. Why do I now have an eye for
designer glasses? Currently sporting Ralph Lauren… may be moving on to Guess!
Tomorrow we
start a 4-day mini-vacation weekend and it is cottage time with the in-laws. Aside
from some horseback riding, nothing else is planned and that’s just fine with
me! I have a couple of books packed (ok, well a Kobo full), my Ipod, and my
tablet. If I do nothing but nothing I will be happy! I have my reservations
about this whole group/family vacation plan but we will make the most of it no
matter what happens. It isn’t the family that gets to me, specifically; there
are many reasons why I generally prefer not to travel with anyone other than DH.
In either case, we travel very well together so it usually all works out in the
end… and if it doesn’t, we are by a lake so I can tell him (or anyone else) to go
jump in it!
Next
weekend is another busy 4-day weekend with my BFF/sister potentially giving
birth any day now, my favorite little cousins’ ginormous wedding, and my
birthday of course! And, what do I have planned for my birthday? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing and I am quite
happy with that! I have only insisted on a competition fueled game of mini-putt
and a nice dinner out so I don’t have to cook. And, who knows, maybe I will get enough cash to buy those glasses that I want!
So, between
our short camping trip earlier this summer and this long weekend coming up, I
have to say that I like the 4-5 day “staycations” we seem to be doing this year.
So much so that in a couple of weeks we are going camping again! And no, I haven’t lost my mind. I like camping
a lot and we have a lot of fun – but I am still researching an amazing cruise idea
for winter because I still know that I belong in the Caribbean!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Mystery Of The Work Spouse
Wikipedia defines a “Work Spouse” as (edited):
″Work spouse″ is a phrase… referring to a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage…
Social documentation:
In one 2006 survey, 32% of workers said they had an "office husband" or "office wife". A CNN Money article characterizes the relationship as having the "immediate intimacy (of marriage) without the sex or commitment". One source characterizes the relationships as "platonic, close, opposite-sex couplings, with no romantic strings attached”…
Sociological and psychological implications:
With so many of the quality hours of a day spent at work, having someone there who has an intuitive understanding of the pressures, personalities, interactions, and underlying narratives of the workplace society can add safety and comfort to what can otherwise be an alienating environment.
"Work marriage" appears to be a genuinely caring relationship fostered by the propinquity effect and associated with love-like feelings and possibly limerence. Some "work spouses" admit that sexual attraction between them is present, but is not acted upon, and the sexuality is "channeled" into a productive collaboration…
My personal opinion on all this:
A work spouse is perfectly acceptable, as long as it remains just that and nothing more! And while the term usually refers to someone of the opposite sex, it really doesn’t have to be.
After working in one place for so many years I could name a few people who I have considered to be a work spouse, both male and female, at one time or another. Occasionally I’ve even had more than one at a time! Some of those relationships have faded out now, while others have turned into pretty good friendships. Obviously, I feel that if a true friendship develops outside of the workplace, platonic or otherwise, I would no longer consider that person to be a work spouse but I guess you always share those roots in the end.
As mentioned above, having someone there who has an inside view of your workplace can be very helpful and encouraging as well as comforting at times. A work spouse often shares empathy rather than sympathy and, in my experience, this can help things resolve quicker than bringing your problems home to a disconnected significant other. Besides, you already spend so much time apart because of work, why bring these issues home if you don’t have to?
And yes, admittedly, a significant others work spouse is harder to accept when their relationship includes traveling together, sharing hotels, etc… but if the trust is there and communication remains open then there is nothing to worry about; ok, well, there is always a LITTLE to worry about but you just have to move past the insecurities and see the bigger picture I guess.
A work-spouse-turned-close-friend recently asked if any of these work spouse relationships have ever given any spark to my real relationship with DH and the honest answer to that is NO! In my case they never, ever, have… unless I allow myself to think about you specifically LOL!
″Work spouse″ is a phrase… referring to a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage…
Social documentation:
In one 2006 survey, 32% of workers said they had an "office husband" or "office wife". A CNN Money article characterizes the relationship as having the "immediate intimacy (of marriage) without the sex or commitment". One source characterizes the relationships as "platonic, close, opposite-sex couplings, with no romantic strings attached”…
Sociological and psychological implications:
With so many of the quality hours of a day spent at work, having someone there who has an intuitive understanding of the pressures, personalities, interactions, and underlying narratives of the workplace society can add safety and comfort to what can otherwise be an alienating environment.
"Work marriage" appears to be a genuinely caring relationship fostered by the propinquity effect and associated with love-like feelings and possibly limerence. Some "work spouses" admit that sexual attraction between them is present, but is not acted upon, and the sexuality is "channeled" into a productive collaboration…
My personal opinion on all this:
A work spouse is perfectly acceptable, as long as it remains just that and nothing more! And while the term usually refers to someone of the opposite sex, it really doesn’t have to be.
After working in one place for so many years I could name a few people who I have considered to be a work spouse, both male and female, at one time or another. Occasionally I’ve even had more than one at a time! Some of those relationships have faded out now, while others have turned into pretty good friendships. Obviously, I feel that if a true friendship develops outside of the workplace, platonic or otherwise, I would no longer consider that person to be a work spouse but I guess you always share those roots in the end.
As mentioned above, having someone there who has an inside view of your workplace can be very helpful and encouraging as well as comforting at times. A work spouse often shares empathy rather than sympathy and, in my experience, this can help things resolve quicker than bringing your problems home to a disconnected significant other. Besides, you already spend so much time apart because of work, why bring these issues home if you don’t have to?
And yes, admittedly, a significant others work spouse is harder to accept when their relationship includes traveling together, sharing hotels, etc… but if the trust is there and communication remains open then there is nothing to worry about; ok, well, there is always a LITTLE to worry about but you just have to move past the insecurities and see the bigger picture I guess.
A work-spouse-turned-close-friend recently asked if any of these work spouse relationships have ever given any spark to my real relationship with DH and the honest answer to that is NO! In my case they never, ever, have… unless I allow myself to think about you specifically LOL!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Dream Diary: Walk Of Shame
“Make the elevator come a little faster.
I'm pushing all the buttons but nothing's happening
Please, God, don't let anybody see me
Please, God, I'll do anything you ask me
I promise no more walks of shame”
Pink – Walk Of Shame Lyrics
I'm pushing all the buttons but nothing's happening
Please, God, don't let anybody see me
Please, God, I'll do anything you ask me
I promise no more walks of shame”
Pink – Walk Of Shame Lyrics
What is going on inside my head this week? I have had a number of weird dreams recently and I am starting to think they will all be melding into one larger dream soon and I am starting to hate this process. Huh? Wait, what?
Ok, let me explain… As I mentioned once before, my dreams have a tendency to do a strange cinematography, time-lapse effect thingy. Very descriptive, I know. Basically, I will dream in fragments and often different pieces will happen on different nights. Once I put them all together they flow more smoothly. Kind of like a puzzle I guess. Sometimes only seconds are missing and other times a whole chunk could be gone. I had a recurring dream once that lasted well over a year that I was able to put together into a short story by the time it was done; only it never really had an ending - yet. I am usually able to connect where these fragments originated from in my day to day life, but not always.
So, what’s going on?
DH is away for work right now so I am a work-widow once again. Wonderful timing, but this is usually when my mind starts playing little tricks on me. I have been sleeping with an extra blanket since the weekend and for some reason I got tangled in it the other night. I woke up, but only partially, and it felt like someone was wrapped around me or draped over me. It felt almost heavy, like DH was actually there. I fixed the blanket and went back to sleep but when I woke up I could have sworn someone had actually been in bed with me over night…
And then, the other night I mentioned to a friend that I get paranoid when DH is away so I always put the alarm on. This then parlayed into another weird dream where I asked a co-worker to spend the night in my house with me because I was afraid to be alone and somehow this turned into me agreeing to stay at his house, closer to work, because it was more convenient. Fast forward and I am pulling a “walk of shame” out of his condo the following morning, to the elevator which isn’t working (see lyrics above to a song I have been listening to a lot lately) so I take the stairs and run into the friend I had talked to the other night. She pulls me into her place and gives me a whole “what do you think you’re doing” scolding and that was when I woke up.
Now I am questioning if the blanket thing ever really happened or if it was part of this dream creeping in out of place. And, what happened from the time I agreed to go with the co-worker until my “walk of shame” moment, or do I not want to know? I really wish there were a way to record what happens in your dreams because I swear no one would believe me half of the time!
Anyhow, I love my DH and I would never do anything to hurt him so this was definitely FAR FROM REAL!I wonder what will happen in my dreams tonight...
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
It’s The Marriage, Not The Wedding, That Counts!
“A wedding is a party, not a performance.
If at the end of the day you are married to the one you love,
then everything went perfectly.”
If at the end of the day you are married to the one you love,
then everything went perfectly.”
I have seen it myself many times in the last few years - the perfect fairy tale wedding with all the bells and whistles; the diamonds, the designer princess gown, the horse and carriage (not exaggerating), the antique cars, the elegantly tiered wedding cake and a reception you could only dream of… and then, the dreaded d-word… divorce.
It is truly amazing to me how some people can put so much thought and detail, not to mention money, into one day of their lives and then simply neglect the time and effort needed for the days that lie ahead. A fairy tale wedding does not a marriage make! No amount of money spent on your wedding day can solidify the future your marriage. A marriage is based on love, trust, understanding, commitment, communication, common values, respect… I can go on and on here, but do you see the similarity of all these things? No amount of money can buy them!
I admit that growing up I wanted the fairy tale wedding, and then I started attending these weddings and I realized they were not what I wanted at all! They really aren’t ME. So, after travelling to the Caribbean a number of times I quickly fell in love with the idea of a destination wedding, accompanied by a small group of close friends and family. But, I wouldn’t want to put that kind of burden (financially) on others and I certainly couldn’t pay for everyone myself so that’s out. And then I started looking into eloping with a Vegas wedding, I found the perfect little chapel and everything, but that is just too cheesy and I think my in-laws would kill me for not inviting them!
So, what are we left with? Something that has really grown on me after seeing two couples I know go this route in the past year or so… a notary. Yes, that’s right. I honestly like the idea of just signing the papers and carrying on with our lives. After all, a “wedding” is just a party at the end of the day and I can throw a party any time I want to, but a marriage is so much more than that. After all these years together, DH is my husband no matter what. I really don’t need a fancy ring or a legal document to tell me this (although I wouldn’t mind a new ring), but for a variety of reasons it would be good to have something official. And, more importantly, I like that this is something we can do just for one another and keep it simple. No one ever even has to know; just us, the notary, and the government! It has been discussed recently and while it won’t be happening tomorrow, it may very well come in the future and I couldn’t be happier… we shall see!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Sisters-By-Heart
"I’m very close to my sisters, and the friendship and support of other women has always enriched my life. I also realize that there are friends or other relatives that may not be blood sisters, but share this same type of closeness.”
As I have written before (see 'Ohana), there’s an old saying that goes: “You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family” and I continue to disagree.
True, those who are my blood relations are my “family” on paper, even though I can count on one hand how many of them are in my life today. And, true, you cannot choose your extended family/in-laws, but did I not choose my spouse? Is DH not legally my “family”, even though we are not related by blood? In fact, if we were related I would seriously question my logic, and we would be going against the law slightly, no?
Anyhow, there are many people in my life both past and present that share no blood of mine who I unquestionably consider to be my “family”. I can draw you a whole family tree pointing to mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers with these people alone and I promise you there are more of them actively present in my life than there are my own biological family members!
And this brings me to one person in particular…
A sister isn't always your blood relation. Sometimes it's that close friend who understands you, loves you and has always got your back no matter what. While family members have come and gone, drifted apart from one another, or left us in this world without them, I feel like our bond has only grown stronger and closer over time. We are not biologically related at all, nor are we legally bound to each other in any way; we are closer than any of that. Maybe we chose each other, or maybe we were meant to find each other, but whatever the reason we are definitely “sisters-by-heart” and always will be.
Some have questioned me over the years when I have referred to you, my BFF, as my sister - but I dare anyone to challenge me and tell me otherwise! You have always supported me and stood by me, even when those who should have been there walked away. You have always been true to me, even when we’ve had our differences. You have always accepted me just how I am, and you have never judged me. We understand each other in ways that others can’t, and we can often speak to one another without saying a word. A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost, and you mean the world to me. You are the comfort and stability that I dreamt of my whole life and no matter where we are, or how far apart, you are always HOME to me.
In less than a month, you will be giving me the greatest gift you have ever given me – my first nephew – and I cannot wait to meet the little man! With every picture you post and story you have shared, I feel like I have taken this journey with you every step of the way and I cannot express in words how this has made me feel. We were only kids when we first met and I never could have imagined this moment then, but it is all I think about right now. Counting down the days with you and anxiously awaiting a note saying you are on your way to the hospital…
I love you with all my heart, and you can stop crying now! xox
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Learning From Mistakes Made
As I recently wrote, we have spent the better part of the last year focusing on improving our relationship. And, in order to do this we had to start with the foundation… communication. Looking back, I don’t know how we ever got anywhere communicating the way we did and the change that has come from this last year has been extremely good! In addition, the seemingly unspoken agreement to cleanse our personal bubble of outside negativity and drama has also proven invaluable.
But sometimes, certain situations are unexpected and often unavoidable. And now, when I am witness to others doing exactly what we used to do to each other, the feeling inside me is just unbearable. As unnecessary words and emotions pour out, the air changes and becomes toxic and overwhelming. I feel like an innocent bystander, in someone else’s fight. A silent observer, off to the side; not directly in the line of fire, yet I can feel my own blood pressure rising from the conflict. In that moment, part of me wants to help and part of me just wants to run and hide… but my feet don’t allow me to move. I can’t help but feel trapped, like a deer caught in the headlights. It is an absolutely horrible and uncomfortable feeling; almost suffocating.
But I realize that no matter how badly I want to jump in and save someone from themselves, stop them from drowning, take their hand and show them their mistakes… I can’t. I have tried, many times before, and I have failed because “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge” (as Dr. Phil says time and time again).
But, I CAN change myself and MY behavior… and I will.
I do not consider myself to be better than anybody else, but I do strive to be better than the person I was yesterday. I can see where I went wrong this time and I know what I need to do for myself in the future. I alone let myself get caught up in this when I could have walked away. I stayed because I thought leaving would be awkward, but why should I worry about everyone else when this clearly made me feel so uncomfortable? I shouldn’t have. This situation has taught me a lot, and I will learn from my mistakes.
Hopefully the next time won't be so rough.
But sometimes, certain situations are unexpected and often unavoidable. And now, when I am witness to others doing exactly what we used to do to each other, the feeling inside me is just unbearable. As unnecessary words and emotions pour out, the air changes and becomes toxic and overwhelming. I feel like an innocent bystander, in someone else’s fight. A silent observer, off to the side; not directly in the line of fire, yet I can feel my own blood pressure rising from the conflict. In that moment, part of me wants to help and part of me just wants to run and hide… but my feet don’t allow me to move. I can’t help but feel trapped, like a deer caught in the headlights. It is an absolutely horrible and uncomfortable feeling; almost suffocating.
But I realize that no matter how badly I want to jump in and save someone from themselves, stop them from drowning, take their hand and show them their mistakes… I can’t. I have tried, many times before, and I have failed because “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge” (as Dr. Phil says time and time again).
But, I CAN change myself and MY behavior… and I will.
I do not consider myself to be better than anybody else, but I do strive to be better than the person I was yesterday. I can see where I went wrong this time and I know what I need to do for myself in the future. I alone let myself get caught up in this when I could have walked away. I stayed because I thought leaving would be awkward, but why should I worry about everyone else when this clearly made me feel so uncomfortable? I shouldn’t have. This situation has taught me a lot, and I will learn from my mistakes.
Hopefully the next time won't be so rough.
Monday, July 22, 2013
The Royal Baby Is On The Way!
No, this is not actually a post about Will and Kate’s Royal Baby! But’s it’s true… the baby is on his/her way as I type this. Honestly, poor Kate. Can you even begin to imagine having the whole world know that you just went into labor and everyone is waiting with baited breath to know if it is a boy or a girl, the name that you chose, and so on? It’s too much pressure if you ask me. And then the criticism will follow. Already the whole world is talking about what they should name the baby because that will show how they wish to lead the country in the future and bla, bla, bla… what if they simply want to call the baby Michael or something a little more unique like Delilah? Certainly those are both better names than the “Apple’s”, “Moon Unit’s” and “Jermajesty’s” out there! And no, I am not making those names up. Anyhow, whatever happens, I hope they get to lead somewhat of a normal life… at least for the first moments of their new family’s life.
Also, I would like to wish DH a Happy (belated) Birthday. Nothing fancy this year (as he requested); just brunch, gifts and a steak and lobster dinner (I cooked). There is more in store, but that will come later!
And, this Friday we are going to see the comedian Danny Bhoy at Montreal’s Just for Laughs. Usually we see more but the line-up just wasn’t right for us this year. The bigger comedians we would have liked to see are hosting galas filled with people we don’t really know, and since I am not a fan of the galas we just got tickets for the one show. He actually has a funny story about when he met the Queen, so in the spirit of the royal baby… here you go!
The first time Danny Bhoy met the Queen, he was more nervous than he expected.
''Oh, you're the comedian, are you?'' she asked him.
Unwittingly mimicking her posh accent, he was horrified to hear himself reply, ''I am he,'' before giving a regal bow.
Their second encounter, a few years later, was even more embarrassing. After hearing her say it was nice to meet him, Bhoy found himself blathering about how they had already met: that one time, after the awards show, in that room at that place …
''She has 300 engagements a year,'' Bhoy says. ''As if she's going to remember some prick who shook her hand four years ago.''
Nodding politely, the Queen waited for him to finish, then inquired, ''What does one do if one's audience does not laugh?''
''One shits oneself,'' he blurted, at which point her minders quickly ushered him away. He was pleased, however, to notice Her Majesty stifling a laugh.
You can read the full interview here.
Also, I would like to wish DH a Happy (belated) Birthday. Nothing fancy this year (as he requested); just brunch, gifts and a steak and lobster dinner (I cooked). There is more in store, but that will come later!
And, this Friday we are going to see the comedian Danny Bhoy at Montreal’s Just for Laughs. Usually we see more but the line-up just wasn’t right for us this year. The bigger comedians we would have liked to see are hosting galas filled with people we don’t really know, and since I am not a fan of the galas we just got tickets for the one show. He actually has a funny story about when he met the Queen, so in the spirit of the royal baby… here you go!
The first time Danny Bhoy met the Queen, he was more nervous than he expected.
''Oh, you're the comedian, are you?'' she asked him.
Unwittingly mimicking her posh accent, he was horrified to hear himself reply, ''I am he,'' before giving a regal bow.
Their second encounter, a few years later, was even more embarrassing. After hearing her say it was nice to meet him, Bhoy found himself blathering about how they had already met: that one time, after the awards show, in that room at that place …
''She has 300 engagements a year,'' Bhoy says. ''As if she's going to remember some prick who shook her hand four years ago.''
Nodding politely, the Queen waited for him to finish, then inquired, ''What does one do if one's audience does not laugh?''
''One shits oneself,'' he blurted, at which point her minders quickly ushered him away. He was pleased, however, to notice Her Majesty stifling a laugh.
You can read the full interview here.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Back To The Future
“You have to let some people go.
Everyone in your life is meant to be in your journey,
but not all of them are meant to stay till the end.”
Everyone in your life is meant to be in your journey,
but not all of them are meant to stay till the end.”
Some time ago, this began as s a blog about TTC with PCOS and the one subject I haven’t talked about in ages is exactly that; TTC with PCOS. Why? Because… while we are not doing anything to stop a pregnancy, we haven’t actively been TTC either. And guess what? We aren’t expecting!
Yes, that’s right; the myth that once you STOP thinking about it and STOP trying so hard, it just happens out of the blue… is false! *gasp*
Medically, I know that it is probably near impossible to happen naturally, but for a variety of reasons we have not been through any invasive IUI, IVM or IVF procedures in over a year! And while I am really upset about that on one hand, I am much happier with other things that we have been focusing on in the meantime so I feel more balanced than I have in a while actually.
Focusing on the positive has been just that, positive! We have worked hard, both individually and as a couple, to improve on our relationship and communication skills before bringing a baby into the equation. We are working hard to remove all negativity and drama from our lives, even if it means severing some ties or reducing the amount of time spent with certain people. We are both focusing more on our health now and, in my case, finally acknowledging and dealing with some problems that have been ignored in the past. And, I have even been putting aside a little more money than usual to be able to stay home on maternity leave for at least two years instead of one when the time comes without worry, and that amount will simply continue to grow barring anything unexpected. Maybe I won’t ever have to work again! (DH, are you reading this? Hint! Hint!) Seriously though, I used to want three kids and now I just want one healthy pregnancy no matter what comes from it (single or twins), so I want to be able to spend as much time with my family as possible. It took me a long time to accept this reality but I am happy with this plan!
I don’t think that I talked about this very much, but through my last couple of treatments with the hospital I was not feeling very well, emotionally. It wasn’t the treatments themselves, but rather the facility. Ever since the government has been subsidizing treatment, the atmosphere at the hospital changed. There were too many patients to handle, wait times were stupidly long, and everyone just seemed generally strung out. A couple of the staff members, who I had developed a good connection with, left around the same time as well so the whole experience was just awful. Add hormones to that and it was unbearable!
So, in the spirit of change, we are now looking into other options. We have not closed our file with the hospital just yet, but we have a couple of consultations lined up elsewhere and if we find a good match we will happily move on from the hospital and hopefully never need to look back! Also, I have made a tough decision NOT to share too many details of treatment in the future and to keep things a little more private (at least while it is in progress). In fact, I think the first round that we attempt will be reserved for us and us alone (minus a couple of exceptions whom I couldn’t do it without).
Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted... even if it is not what you want right now and looking back you aren’t sure it was the right decision in the first place, it was right for you then.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Two Words
This was originally sent to me by a counselor I have been in touch with. It's amusing so I thought I would share!
Lately my husband and I have been playing the game “Two Words”. You won’t find this game in Wal-Mart or in any of the specialty game stores. You’ll find it right in your own home. I’m sure you’re playing it already, if not with your spouse, with someone you know.
This is how the game is played. I’m telling my husband a story with detail. It’s very important to me. After a few moments I notice a look on his face and I say, “You’re not listening.”
And he says, “Yes I am.”
And then I say, “No you’re not, I can tell.”
And he’ll say, “I heard every word you said.”
And then he brings back two words from my conversation, just enough to let me know he’s heard something of my story, but I know he hasn’t really heard it all. And yet, the two words are satisfying enough, so I go on. But then I wonder, so I ask him again, “You’re not listening to me, are you?”
“Yes, I am!”
“Okay, what did I say?”
“You said - shorts and sunshine.”
Men have an amazing ability when the conversation is not as engaging as they’d like, to leave the room mentally, go hit a few golf balls down the green, shoot some pool, or run the last innings of the baseball game. They also have another wonderful ability to bring back the last 20 words their wife has said when they hear her say, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”
“Yes I did, you said something about the colours of the mouse at Disneyworld and how that would look good hanging on the line in the back yard.”
You see, that was my test! I inserted some silly words just to find out if he was listening. Two words? Twenty? Hmmm, am I losing out here?
What if we told the men that we also have amazing abilities? When they talk about motors and cars, wheels, or the stats on the hockey game, we women can go away in our mind, shop, pick out colours for the living room, move furniture, solve problems that kids handed to us earlier, and still do all the “hummmms, and ahahs” at the right moment. We don’t even need to bring back two words because our fellow never tests us by saying, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”
This is life! We all have such amazing abilities.
Lately my husband and I have been playing the game “Two Words”. You won’t find this game in Wal-Mart or in any of the specialty game stores. You’ll find it right in your own home. I’m sure you’re playing it already, if not with your spouse, with someone you know.
This is how the game is played. I’m telling my husband a story with detail. It’s very important to me. After a few moments I notice a look on his face and I say, “You’re not listening.”
And he says, “Yes I am.”
And then I say, “No you’re not, I can tell.”
And he’ll say, “I heard every word you said.”
And then he brings back two words from my conversation, just enough to let me know he’s heard something of my story, but I know he hasn’t really heard it all. And yet, the two words are satisfying enough, so I go on. But then I wonder, so I ask him again, “You’re not listening to me, are you?”
“Yes, I am!”
“Okay, what did I say?”
“You said - shorts and sunshine.”
Men have an amazing ability when the conversation is not as engaging as they’d like, to leave the room mentally, go hit a few golf balls down the green, shoot some pool, or run the last innings of the baseball game. They also have another wonderful ability to bring back the last 20 words their wife has said when they hear her say, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”
“Yes I did, you said something about the colours of the mouse at Disneyworld and how that would look good hanging on the line in the back yard.”
You see, that was my test! I inserted some silly words just to find out if he was listening. Two words? Twenty? Hmmm, am I losing out here?
What if we told the men that we also have amazing abilities? When they talk about motors and cars, wheels, or the stats on the hockey game, we women can go away in our mind, shop, pick out colours for the living room, move furniture, solve problems that kids handed to us earlier, and still do all the “hummmms, and ahahs” at the right moment. We don’t even need to bring back two words because our fellow never tests us by saying, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”
This is life! We all have such amazing abilities.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Some Summer Updates
I just realized that I never wrote anything about my trip to Toronto back in May/June! Despite all of my travelling this was only my second time flying alone (both ways) so that was kind of, er, cool. My BFF picked me up at the airport and we pretty much just hung out for the weekend like old times, only grown-ups now! The main reason for the trip was just to spend some time together, but she also had her baby shower that weekend so it was great to be included in something that I generally don’t get to be a part of due to distance. She has since moved into her new home and has the adorable nursery just about ready to go! She looks radiant, has about 6 more weeks to go, and then I get to hop on a plane again and get to meet my nephew for the very first time this September! I can’t wait to see the new house either!
Also, since half the family knows by now I assume I am allowed to post this? My sister-in-law is pregnant again! So, our already 2 year old niece will be getting a little sister or brother for Christmas this year! Is it me, or does the time fly? Hopefully sometime this century we will be able to give her a little cousin too!
Um… what else?
Oh, a few weeks ago I posted an open letter to an old friend here and a few people have asked me to post an update about this. Because it is so personal and private, I will just say that the letter was seen and we did in fact get together once since then. We will just have to wait and see where things go from here… one day at a time.
Lastly, we went camping last week at the Whiteface Mountain KOA in Lake Placid, NY. We usually camp at the Ivy Lea KOA in the 1000 Islands but this place is giving it a run for its money! We really liked it there and now that we both have Nexus cards crossing the border is fast which makes this place more appealing than it used to be. We shopped in Plattsburgh (of course) and, even though it rained every day we made out extremely well; pitching the tent minutes before the rain started and buying a kitchen tent off another camper for 50$ helped! We made it to Ausable Chasm as well, but we didn’t get to do some of the other things I had planned because of the weather. Instead, we took an un-scheduled trip to Vermont by ferry and went to the Ben and Jerry’s Factory! Oh, and the most “memorable” part of the trip was first posted on Facebook as: “See baby deer on side of road. See baby deer jump out in front of car. See my heart jump out of my chest. See hubby not hit baby deer. See baby deer safe on the other side of road. Stupid baby deer!” Yes…. we are all ok… but my heart was racing a mile a minute! I guess I should also mention that I had tent envy the whole time so we have since gone out and bought a new, bigger, tent as well. I like our old tent, but I find it kind of small for longer periods of time and it’s hard to keep things away from the sides when it rains it seems. I have booked the campground again later this summer so we can try out the new mansion and I am wondering who is going to use the guesthouse with us? Any takers?
So, what’s to come? A surprise party for DH’s birthday, a family vacation, a wedding that I cannot wait for, my birthday, the arrival of my nephew, and another camping trip! This is a busy summer!
Also, since half the family knows by now I assume I am allowed to post this? My sister-in-law is pregnant again! So, our already 2 year old niece will be getting a little sister or brother for Christmas this year! Is it me, or does the time fly? Hopefully sometime this century we will be able to give her a little cousin too!
Um… what else?
Oh, a few weeks ago I posted an open letter to an old friend here and a few people have asked me to post an update about this. Because it is so personal and private, I will just say that the letter was seen and we did in fact get together once since then. We will just have to wait and see where things go from here… one day at a time.
Lastly, we went camping last week at the Whiteface Mountain KOA in Lake Placid, NY. We usually camp at the Ivy Lea KOA in the 1000 Islands but this place is giving it a run for its money! We really liked it there and now that we both have Nexus cards crossing the border is fast which makes this place more appealing than it used to be. We shopped in Plattsburgh (of course) and, even though it rained every day we made out extremely well; pitching the tent minutes before the rain started and buying a kitchen tent off another camper for 50$ helped! We made it to Ausable Chasm as well, but we didn’t get to do some of the other things I had planned because of the weather. Instead, we took an un-scheduled trip to Vermont by ferry and went to the Ben and Jerry’s Factory! Oh, and the most “memorable” part of the trip was first posted on Facebook as: “See baby deer on side of road. See baby deer jump out in front of car. See my heart jump out of my chest. See hubby not hit baby deer. See baby deer safe on the other side of road. Stupid baby deer!” Yes…. we are all ok… but my heart was racing a mile a minute! I guess I should also mention that I had tent envy the whole time so we have since gone out and bought a new, bigger, tent as well. I like our old tent, but I find it kind of small for longer periods of time and it’s hard to keep things away from the sides when it rains it seems. I have booked the campground again later this summer so we can try out the new mansion and I am wondering who is going to use the guesthouse with us? Any takers?
So, what’s to come? A surprise party for DH’s birthday, a family vacation, a wedding that I cannot wait for, my birthday, the arrival of my nephew, and another camping trip! This is a busy summer!
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Dream Diary: Madonna
"I went to New York. I had a dream. I wanted to be a big star.
I didn’t know anybody. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sing.
I wanted to do all those things. I wanted to make people happy.
I wanted to be famous. I wanted everybody to love me.
I wanted to be a star. I worked really hard and my dream came true."
I didn’t know anybody. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sing.
I wanted to do all those things. I wanted to make people happy.
I wanted to be famous. I wanted everybody to love me.
I wanted to be a star. I worked really hard and my dream came true."
Not sure how this came about, but yesterday my dreams brought me back to NYC in the strangest way. OK, actually NYC has come up a lot lately so maybe that’s why, but it still makes absolutely no sense!
For some reason I was walking around town with Madonna like we were casual friends!?! We were chatting about nothing in particular, wandering from one landmark to another, all while being followed by annoying paparazzi that we completely ignored. We started in Times Square and then we wandered and zigzagged all the way up to Central Park. Once at the park, we followed the paths up to the main gates of the Central Park Zoo. We even stopped at Magnolia’s for a cupcake and later we were eating pizza in the park. For some reason we both kept checking the time as well because we didn’t want to be late for something that was happening at “the townhouse” (she has one on the Upper East Side), which would explain the path we were taking (Note: I think I spend too much time in NYC since I knew my way up there even in a dream).
As usual, my dreams tend to “time lapse” themselves so this was all fragmented when it happened. I have no clue what I was thinking, but I can honestly say that a 25 block walk plus a stroll in the park was way easier in my head than it was on foot! I did this exact path last spring with shopping in between and I was pooped by the time I got to those gates! Also, I have never been further than the zoo on that side of the park by foot so I think that is why we stopped where we did; my brain could no longer “see” where to go.
Anyhow…. strange… I know!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Open Letter: Psst, I Miss You…
"If someone seriously wants to be a part of your life
they will seriously make an effort to be in it. No excuses.”
they will seriously make an effort to be in it. No excuses.”
When we first met, I had no idea you would become so important to me. And yet you did; you became more important to me than either of us could have ever imagined. I considered you as a best friend, but we both know that you were always more like a brother to me.
And then, two years ago, it was over. Just like that – gone - and I thought that I could continue not speaking to you for the rest of my life and everything would be fine, except for one tiny detail… I miss you. I really, honestly, didn’t at first but in recent months you have been on my mind a lot more than a little and I want you to know that.
A few weeks ago I nearly ran into you three times in one afternoon but I didn’t have the guts to face you. I nearly did, the second time, but I chickened out. Since then, I can’t stop thinking that I made a mistake avoiding you; I should have said hi, at the very least...
We both know what happened so there is no use re-hashing it now, but I would like closure. We know each other well enough to know we are both too stubborn to break this cycle, but if you are willing to try then I am ready. People change, and sometimes they end up having nothing to say to each other; even best friends grow apart. And, if that’s the case, then I am fine with that… but I need to know.
I have no expectations - just a hole in my heart and an open mind.
You know where to find me, if you want to get in touch… no pressure.
A Cherokee Legend Of Two Wolves
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Today, more than ever, you have a multitude of negativity competing for your attention; television showing commercials of how you can’t be happy without their newest products, news media telling about the doom and gloom of the world, the internet and the drama of what is social media, talk radio, and personal acquaintances. Everything you take in effects the way you perceive the world. You become the average of the input you take in and the people you spend your time with.
Believe it or not, that’s good news. All of that information you take in is in your control. You can control the amount (if any) of negative television you take in. You can control the destructive news you absorb. You can control the radio station you listen to. You can even determine who you spend your time with. There’s an easy way to select who or what gets your attention. After spending time with that person or doing that activity ask yourself, “Do I feel drained or do I feel energized?” If it drains you…….DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH IT. If you feel energized, it’s probably adding value to your life and making you better.
One of my mentors, Darren Hardy, puts it like this. Your mind is an empty glass. When you fill it with dirty water that is the lens you see the world through. The only thing you can see is negativity, doom and gloom. When you begin to pour clean water into it, the dirty water begins to overflow and leave the glass. Soon, if enough clean clear water is poured into the glass container, it will flush out all the murky water and you will be left with a glass of clean beautiful water, and that how you will see the world.
Are you taking in more clean water that dirty?
Which wolf are you feeding?
Source: TodaysManager
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Today, more than ever, you have a multitude of negativity competing for your attention; television showing commercials of how you can’t be happy without their newest products, news media telling about the doom and gloom of the world, the internet and the drama of what is social media, talk radio, and personal acquaintances. Everything you take in effects the way you perceive the world. You become the average of the input you take in and the people you spend your time with.
Believe it or not, that’s good news. All of that information you take in is in your control. You can control the amount (if any) of negative television you take in. You can control the destructive news you absorb. You can control the radio station you listen to. You can even determine who you spend your time with. There’s an easy way to select who or what gets your attention. After spending time with that person or doing that activity ask yourself, “Do I feel drained or do I feel energized?” If it drains you…….DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH IT. If you feel energized, it’s probably adding value to your life and making you better.
One of my mentors, Darren Hardy, puts it like this. Your mind is an empty glass. When you fill it with dirty water that is the lens you see the world through. The only thing you can see is negativity, doom and gloom. When you begin to pour clean water into it, the dirty water begins to overflow and leave the glass. Soon, if enough clean clear water is poured into the glass container, it will flush out all the murky water and you will be left with a glass of clean beautiful water, and that how you will see the world.
Are you taking in more clean water that dirty?
Which wolf are you feeding?
Source: TodaysManager
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Blog Analytics
Ever since I started this blog I have monitored its progress and I am truly amazed. At the beginning there were hardly any direct visits or traffic led to this site and now my monthly numbers are averaging over 100 visits a month! Over the last six months I have averaged 134 visitors per month. For a “personal” blog that really surprised me. My top 10 traffic sources come from all over North America, Australia, the UK, Germany, Sweden, the Netherlands, Russia and even Bolivia! While I know who some of those visitors are, the majority are total strangers… and some of them return week after week! Some people may find that creepy, but I think it’s kind of cool!
So, in order to facilitate following, I have now added a “Follow by Email” box over in the right hand column which is driven by Google feedburner. If you aren’t already receiving blog emails feel free to subscribe this way instead!
Also, as my posts are gradually getting lengthier, I am looking into different blog formats and styles to keep the page a little bit cleaner; possibly some shortened posts with a “continue reading” option for example. I may test a couple over the summer so if you see changes you like please let me know! Which reminds me, I may also turn on the “comment” feature but I am hesitant because I don’t have the time to monitor for spam. We shall see!
Anyhow, to those of you who follow me… thank you!
So, in order to facilitate following, I have now added a “Follow by Email” box over in the right hand column which is driven by Google feedburner. If you aren’t already receiving blog emails feel free to subscribe this way instead!
Also, as my posts are gradually getting lengthier, I am looking into different blog formats and styles to keep the page a little bit cleaner; possibly some shortened posts with a “continue reading” option for example. I may test a couple over the summer so if you see changes you like please let me know! Which reminds me, I may also turn on the “comment” feature but I am hesitant because I don’t have the time to monitor for spam. We shall see!
Anyhow, to those of you who follow me… thank you!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Important: New Car Seat Guidelines
Generally speaking, I feel that we have become a society where parents far too often choose to raise their children in bubbles and that we are generally over protective in many ways. But, I remember seeing something on TV about this over a year ago and I started to read about it afterwards and it makes a whole lot of sense! I know at least one "mommy friend" has done this and I encourage others to consider doing the same. It makes no difference in your life, but it may save theirs. Think about it...
AAP's new car seat guidelines change rear facing & booster rules
Everything you thought you knew about car seats is wrong. Okay, not everything, but things have changed and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) along with the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) announced new guidelines today. And it's big news! The recommendation is that children rear face longer and they also changed the details for kids in boosters.
It was believed that 1 year and 20 pounds was the benchmark for forward facing babies in car seats, despite evidence elsewhere that that was still dangerously early. Now, hopefully, with new guidelines, parents and doctors can get on board and spread the word about the safest practices for children. Here are the details.
New Rear-facing Recommendation: Parents are to keep children rear-facing until 2 years old, or until they reach the maximum height and weight for the seat as noted in the manual.
Safe Kids agrees. Two years is a goal easily met, considering even some of the lowest cost seats now rear-face until 40 pounds. When your baby outgrows their infant carrier, that is when you buy a convertible seat that rear-faces longer, not a forward-facing seat, which you can put upright up to 30 degrees when kids are bigger with better head control, often making them take up less space than infant seats.
New Boostering Recommendation: Children should ride in a belt-positioning booster (that means a high-back!) until they are at least 4 foot, 9 inches, AND 8-12 years old.
Jennifer Hoekstra, the Safe Kids Program Coordinator at Helen DeVos Children's Hospital in Grand Rapids, shared:
In working with parents, we educate them beyond the law and share with them the best practice for keeping their child safe. We strongly agree with the new AAP policy and support the extended rear-facing limits as well as the new booster seat advice.
It's best to keep children in their harnessed seat until they outgrow it, which is into elementary years with the height and weight of most convertible seats and even harness-to-booster seats these days. But they will outgrow it and go into a booster, and eventually they need to meet all points in a 5-point test before they're ready to sit in a car's seat without a booster of any kind. Remember that these belts are designed to fit an average adult. Best practice is also waiting until children are 80-100 pounds as well.
Beyond that, all kids need to stay out of the front until they're at least 13 years old.
While 2 years or 8 years may now be the minimums, we don't parent by minimums, do we? Buying a high quality (not necessarily high cost!) seat to start, after you do all your research to choose the best seat for your child, can easily help you meet these recommendations.
Make sure you're using the car seats correctly, too. There's a lot of intricacies for both harnessed seats and boosters. When in doubt, find a Safe Kids inspection station or event and get checked out by a tech. And hopefully more and more pediatricians, with these new recommendations, will be on board as well, and we can maybe put an end to vehicle related-injuries being the number one cause of death in kids ages 2-14.
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