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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Co-Worker Friend Turned Foe

Ugh! So frustrated… I need advice please!

I have this co-worker/friend that “burned his bridges” long ago (over a year), not only with myself but with other co-workers as well, if not ALL of them. In recent months this co-worker seems to be trying to make amends with each and every one of us, but none of us are buying it from what I can see. However, I can only speak for myself.

Those of you who know me personally know that I can be pretty clear about what I want without really saying a word and this is where I am stuck.

We are co-workers, if I could even call us that seeing as we don’t really work together at all. To many we would have seemed like friends I guess, but I would have considered it to be more of a co-worker friendship or an occasional outside of work acquaintance at most. But that was all in the past, long ago. We have not really talked to one another for over a year now and many things have changed. But now, this person has been coming to my office more in the last couple of months than ever before (even when we WERE friends or whatever) and has been driving me crazy! They think that after all this time has passed, not to mention bridges burned that I don’t really want to get into, they can just come in… close my door… sit down… and start chatting about my personal life with me like nothing has happened?

I have not allowed myself to talk “personal” and I have kept everything I’ve said related only to the job. I have been short, busy and dismissive each time. I have blocked and deleted this person from Facebook. I do not answer the phone when they call. I do not include this person on lunch invitations or anything else I involve other co-workers in. I thought that I had made myself pretty clear! But this person keeps coming back to try again and I am NOT interested at ALL!

A part of me wants to pick up the phone, send an email or confront this person face to face… but the rest of me says don’t waste your time, just keep doing what you’ve been doing and eventually they will get it. But will they? I know that this is not a relationship that I wish to salvage in the least, but we WILL cross paths so I would like things to be civil at least. I think. Maybe. I don’t know… help!