Friendship

“It’s been said that everlasting friends can go long periods of time without speaking and never question the friendship. These types of friends pick up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live and they don’t hold grudges. They understand that life is busy…
but you will ALWAYS love them.” 

I completely agree with the quote above and I have a number of friendships that seem to carry themselves that way, but sometimes I can’t help but question a few of them that are like this. There are some “friends” that I am sure I could call right now and we could carry on as though we just spoke yesterday when we haven’t talked for weeks or months but when I really think about it, it feels like that is only because we don’t really have anything between us; like, we have a very superficial connection. In some cases I think it is because I may have misjudged or misinterpreted some of those relationships and I am hoping to work those out over time, one way or another, but in other cases I just know that I was wrong about the friendship altogether and now it’s time to walk away.

I think it started when I realized that, in many cases, I was the only one who was actually making any sort of effort. I would call, I would e-mail, I would text, I would plan and I would “chase”. And, often times, I would also be the one getting “stood-up” and I would be the only one who felt bad about it!

I have confronted a few of those people over the last little while and some of them were genuinely sorry and have been making more of an effort lately. One person admitted that they are simply unreliable and not to take it personally, but promised to try harder and definitely has been which I really appreciate! And others, well, as one now former friend once told me when confronted: “we never really were that close and we were only friends because it was convenient at the time”… only I had apparently missed that memo over the five years we were joined at the hip! Live and learn, right?

And, no, I am not just pointing the finger at others! I realize that in a couple of cases I am also to blame and I am trying to rectify that now as well! See? I CAN look in the mirror and see my OWN faults!

I guess as I get older I feel more interested in quality and not quantity when it comes to relationships with others. I would rather have a small handful of amazing, close and deep friendships than a hundred superficial ones. Who has time for that? Some of those friendships have developed over a long period of time and others are more recent, but I value each and every one of them very much!

Oh, and to my BFF… I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what! And we need to make a phone date soon because I miss you!