Open Letter: Mr. Selfish

When you can’t control what’s happening,
challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening.
That’s where your power is! 

I made a bad decision this past summer. One that I cannot take back, but I can learn from it.

Open Letter: Chatty Cathy

Most days I might be open to hearing the stories of a stranger, but today was just not one of them. Nonetheless, out of respect for this little 89 year old woman, I stood as patiently as I could while she rambled on about a recent accident with a shopping cart in the supermarket, her children, her children’s children, her former family business and her late husband. As she chatted away I was almost wishing my LO would throw a tantrum or cry, anything to have her let me be, but of course she did not. She was entranced with this woman and wouldn’t stop smiling as she spoke to us.

Open Letter: “My Mother Doesn’t Want Your F*ucking Advice!”

Warning: Serious mama bear rant ahead…
(Note: this clearly does not apply to certain people, and you’d better know who you are by now!)

Ever since people have found out that I am expecting, I have noticed that many of said people also feel that it is now their place and duty to tell me how to act and feel. But mostly, they have the nerve to tell me not HOW to take care of myself but TO take care of myself in general… my health and my baby too.

Are you people really serious? Do you think I have been doing anything BUT that 24/7?

Open Letter: 14 Years...

“Respect yourself enough to walk away
from anyone or anything that no longer
serves you, grows you, or makes you happy”
Anonymous

14 years ago in that dingy hospital corridor I made the not-so-difficult decision to walk away from you, and your abuse, once and for all. After one final argument, about what a lousy daughter I was despite the hours of help and care I was providing you while you recovered from your quintuplet bypass, I said good-bye for the last time. I turned around and walked away from the poison you infected my life with for 21 years! I made my peace with that decision long ago, but I can honestly say that I have never forgiven you for everything you did, and never will.

Open Letter: Tearjerked Chicken

What a crazy day this has been! But I will spare you the drama and get right to the point of this post.

The first week back at work after the holidays is a hellish week for me. At night, if there is nothing easy to throw together for dinner - we order something. After a back and forth about fast food, take-out, or delivery we settled on ordering from my favorite BBQ chicken place. Too tired to even place the call, DH ordered around 6:15pm. As always, he took off to his man cave for a bit while I watched TV and looked out the window for dinner to arrive. Around 7:15 I saw what I thought to be their delivery car drive by, but assumed someone else had simply ordered as well. After all, they have amazing chicken and even better BBQ sauce! But by 7:50, I was calling the restaurant to see what the hell was going on!

Open Letter: To DH

Over the years you have received countless letters and notes from me; love letters, reminder post-its, to-do lists, messages on the bathroom mirror (not in the creepy sense), and long winded letters of anger/frustration/confusion when I couldn’t express myself so well verbally too (hey, we have all been there).

But this one is different… because I want the world to know about this one!

A Poem For My BFF

Just Because

Our paths crossed, so long ago,

And immediately, our bond began to grow.

A blossoming friendship, that no one could break,

Not even the years we spent apart could test our fate.

Looking back on the decades we’ve spent together,

I know we will be by each others side forever and ever.

You bring me comfort, you always know just what to say,

and you make me smile, even miles away.

Your husband is lucky to call you his wife,

and your son will be proud to call you mother,

but to me you are more special than words can describe,

because to me you are like no other!

I was fortunate to meet you,

I have felt privileged to know you.

And although we come from different trees,

family is what you will always be to me.

Love you to the moon and back!

Open Letter: To My Hair Dryer

To my evil, possessed, hair dryer… I hate you!

When I left the house yesterday, I thought it was going to be just like any other day… but you proved me wrong! So wrong!

Like every other morning, I got up and had my shower and then proceeded to dry my hair. When I was done, I turned you off and put you down on the floor in my office where you always are. Afterwards, I got dressed, did my make-up and went downstairs to feed the cats etc… and because DH is away I was actually 10 minutes early! I left the house, happy to be early, and went off to work.

After work I met up with a friend for dinner so I wasn’t home at my usual time. Actually, it was about 9pm by the time he dropped me off, and from the outside of my house nothing looked out of place. The lights were off, the big ugly spider was still on my front stairs, and the garbage can was outside reminding me I had to clean the cat litter today.

But inside… this was another story, wasn’t it?

When I went in I heard the sound of a motor running. The cats were running around meowing and one of them kept pawing at my office door. That was when I realized it was coming from inside my office. Was it the aquarium filter blowing up? Was my computer freaking out? What was it?

As I went up the stairs my house felt very hot. I opened my office door with hesitation and what did I find? A steamy room, a hot floor, and you… in the on position, blowing away! I picked you up and turned you off but you were hot to touch. Even my aquarium was warm! How long had you been on? Had you been on since morning? How did you turn on? The door was closed… was someone in the house?

After searching every single room and closet in my house looking for an intruder like a mad woman, I started to look online for reasons why you would do this. I found everything from scientific explanations to fluke to the paranormal. Whatever it was, it seems the best thing to do was unplug you so I did. I plugged you back in this morning for a bit and it seems like 2/3 of your coils are no longer working and you burnt yourself out in the process of freaking me out too. Why would you do that?

So, whether you were trying to scare me or just trying to commit hair dryer suicide I believe you are possessed. You may have run up my Hydro bill, but at least you didn’t burn the house down! I don’t know what I ever did to you to deserve this, but I know what I am going to do to you now! Next Tuesday, garbage night, will be your last night in my house. Your time is up Mr. Hair Dryer!

Good-bye Vidal Sassoon model VS773F… you will not be missed!

Open Letter: Betta Fish

As most people know by now, I am obsessed with Betta fish! DH got me one about four years ago and I have had at least one, often two, ever since. Usually they live for quite some time under my care, or they die incredibly fast so I assume they are sick before I even get them. However, my current fish (Romeo) is driving me crazy!!! He has been "playing dead" since about February now. I swore when I went on vacation then he would be dead by the time I returned but he is still alive, although you wouldn't know it from the way he looks! So, I started researching solutions again this morning and I came across a hilarious "open letter" someone wrote to their Betta and I just had to re-post it because I can relate so well!

An Open Letter to My Dead Betta Fish, Daisy, by Shawna Foster

Dear Daisy,

When the worker fell through our ceiling, he thought of everything he could. He immediately vacuumed up all the insulation that had been rotting in our rafters since the 1950s and now covered our home like snowfall. He sucked so hard he broke the Dyson. He cleaned every speck of dust on all the surfaces he could see, anticipating our intense rage of a 6 × 3 foot man-shaped hole in the ceiling.

He did not think of you, Daisy. He did not realize that your fancy fountain open-top tank allowed pounds of insulation to fall in. The material possessions did not matter to me as much as you did, Daisy, but he didn’t think of you. You didn’t give a shit then, Daisy. You’re a Betta fish. Shit falls in your tank and you eat it. You ate a lot of insulation, Daisy. And you were doomed. So why did you take so long to die?

Open Letter: Psst, I Miss You…

"If someone seriously wants to be a part of your life
they will seriously make an effort to be in it. No excuses.”

When we first met, I had no idea you would become so important to me. And yet you did; you became more important to me than either of us could have ever imagined. I considered you as a best friend, but we both know that you were always more like a brother to me.

And then, two years ago, it was over. Just like that – gone - and I thought that I could continue not speaking to you for the rest of my life and everything would be fine, except for one tiny detail… I miss you. I really, honestly, didn’t at first but in recent months you have been on my mind a lot more than a little and I want you to know that.

A few weeks ago I nearly ran into you three times in one afternoon but I didn’t have the guts to face you. I nearly did, the second time, but I chickened out. Since then, I can’t stop thinking that I made a mistake avoiding you; I should have said hi, at the very least...

We both know what happened so there is no use re-hashing it now, but I would like closure. We know each other well enough to know we are both too stubborn to break this cycle, but if you are willing to try then I am ready. People change, and sometimes they end up having nothing to say to each other; even best friends grow apart. And, if that’s the case, then I am fine with that… but I need to know.

I have no expectations - just a hole in my heart and an open mind.
You know where to find me, if you want to get in touch… no pressure.