Open Letter: Betta Fish

As most people know by now, I am obsessed with Betta fish! DH got me one about four years ago and I have had at least one, often two, ever since. Usually they live for quite some time under my care, or they die incredibly fast so I assume they are sick before I even get them. However, my current fish (Romeo) is driving me crazy!!! He has been "playing dead" since about February now. I swore when I went on vacation then he would be dead by the time I returned but he is still alive, although you wouldn't know it from the way he looks! So, I started researching solutions again this morning and I came across a hilarious "open letter" someone wrote to their Betta and I just had to re-post it because I can relate so well!

An Open Letter to My Dead Betta Fish, Daisy, by Shawna Foster

Dear Daisy,

When the worker fell through our ceiling, he thought of everything he could. He immediately vacuumed up all the insulation that had been rotting in our rafters since the 1950s and now covered our home like snowfall. He sucked so hard he broke the Dyson. He cleaned every speck of dust on all the surfaces he could see, anticipating our intense rage of a 6 × 3 foot man-shaped hole in the ceiling.

He did not think of you, Daisy. He did not realize that your fancy fountain open-top tank allowed pounds of insulation to fall in. The material possessions did not matter to me as much as you did, Daisy, but he didn’t think of you. You didn’t give a shit then, Daisy. You’re a Betta fish. Shit falls in your tank and you eat it. You ate a lot of insulation, Daisy. And you were doomed. So why did you take so long to die?

Condolences...

"Children often have imaginary playmates.
I suspect that half of them are really their guardian angels."

With a nephew on the way any day, I was hoping my next post would be good news but unfortunately it is not. I won't go into details, but I do want to extend my deepest sympathies to my little sister on the loss of her grandfather yesterday. It is tragic timing, but it is simply out of our control. I am sure that he and Nanny are smiling down on you and will be with you every step of the way now.

I love you and I am always here if you need something!

August Updates Pt. 2

We just got back from our mini vacation with the family and I am happy to report that things went really well overall. Yes, there were a few "jump in a lake" and "swim with the fishes"moments - both literally and figuratively - but, for a 4-day trip including DH and all of my in-laws (did I forget to mention that before) it could have been worse! In fact, I only read 2 chapters of one book so that should say something! This doesn't mean I am ready to travel in a pack again any time soon but it may be possible again, one day! And, now I know what to do if I ever win the lottery... move out of the city, and into a lakefront property in nowheresville!

Now, 3.5 days of work followed by another long weekend ahead... next stop... ginormous Italian/Portuguese wedding!!!

Ps. No appearance of my first little nephew yet.... but he has an awesome gift I picked up waiting for him! Actually, I think it's more for his daddy but, oh well!

August Updates

“I restore myself when I'm alone.”
Marilyn Monroe 

This summer has been ridiculously busy, and the next couple of weeks will be no different - if not worse! 

Went to the eye doctor yesterday and while my prescription hasn’t changed all that much, a new type of lens may make a world of difference! They are anti-fatigue lenses and seeing as I am on the computer almost all day, every day, it should help with strain and the resulting headaches that follow. I have tried something similar in the past and they were awful but these sound much better! I want to research them a bit more though. I also found frames that I fell in love with (like, didn’t want to take them off in the store), but they are 200$ on top of special extra expensive lenses so… not any time soon! When things calm down I am going to shop around and see what I can find. Why do I now have an eye for designer glasses? Currently sporting Ralph Lauren… may be moving on to Guess!

Tomorrow we start a 4-day mini-vacation weekend and it is cottage time with the in-laws. Aside from some horseback riding, nothing else is planned and that’s just fine with me! I have a couple of books packed (ok, well a Kobo full), my Ipod, and my tablet. If I do nothing but nothing I will be happy! I have my reservations about this whole group/family vacation plan but we will make the most of it no matter what happens. It isn’t the family that gets to me, specifically; there are many reasons why I generally prefer not to travel with anyone other than DH. In either case, we travel very well together so it usually all works out in the end… and if it doesn’t, we are by a lake so I can tell him (or anyone else) to go jump in it! 

Next weekend is another busy 4-day weekend with my BFF/sister potentially giving birth any day now, my favorite little cousins’ ginormous wedding, and my birthday of course! And, what do I have planned for my birthday? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing and I am quite happy with that! I have only insisted on a competition fueled game of mini-putt and a nice dinner out so I don’t have to cook. And, who knows, maybe I will get enough cash to buy those glasses that I want!

So, between our short camping trip earlier this summer and this long weekend coming up, I have to say that I like the 4-5 day “staycations” we seem to be doing this year. So much so that in a couple of weeks we are going camping again!  And no, I haven’t lost my mind. I like camping a lot and we have a lot of fun – but I am still researching an amazing cruise idea for winter because I still know that I belong in the Caribbean!

Mystery Of The Work Spouse

Wikipedia defines a “Work Spouse” as (edited):
″Work spouse″ is a phrase… referring to a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage…

Social documentation:
In one 2006 survey, 32% of workers said they had an "office husband" or "office wife". A CNN Money article characterizes the relationship as having the "immediate intimacy (of marriage) without the sex or commitment". One source characterizes the relationships as "platonic, close, opposite-sex couplings, with no romantic strings attached”…

Sociological and psychological implications:
With so many of the quality hours of a day spent at work, having someone there who has an intuitive understanding of the pressures, personalities, interactions, and underlying narratives of the workplace society can add safety and comfort to what can otherwise be an alienating environment.

"Work marriage" appears to be a genuinely caring relationship fostered by the propinquity effect and associated with love-like feelings and possibly limerence. Some "work spouses" admit that sexual attraction between them is present, but is not acted upon, and the sexuality is "channeled" into a productive collaboration…

My personal opinion on all this:
A work spouse is perfectly acceptable, as long as it remains just that and nothing more! And while the term usually refers to someone of the opposite sex, it really doesn’t have to be.

After working in one place for so many years I could name a few people who I have considered to be a work spouse, both male and female, at one time or another. Occasionally I’ve even had more than one at a time! Some of those relationships have faded out now, while others have turned into pretty good friendships. Obviously, I feel that if a true friendship develops outside of the workplace, platonic or otherwise, I would no longer consider that person to be a work spouse but I guess you always share those roots in the end.

As mentioned above, having someone there who has an inside view of your workplace can be very helpful and encouraging as well as comforting at times. A work spouse often shares empathy rather than sympathy and, in my experience, this can help things resolve quicker than bringing your problems home to a disconnected significant other. Besides, you already spend so much time apart because of work, why bring these issues home if you don’t have to?

And yes, admittedly, a significant others work spouse is harder to accept when their relationship includes traveling together, sharing hotels, etc… but if the trust is there and communication remains open then there is nothing to worry about; ok, well, there is always a LITTLE to worry about but you just have to move past the insecurities and see the bigger picture I guess.

A work-spouse-turned-close-friend recently asked if any of these work spouse relationships have ever given any spark to my real relationship with DH and the honest answer to that is NO! In my case they never, ever, have… unless I allow myself to think about you specifically LOL!

Dream Diary: Walk Of Shame

“Make the elevator come a little faster.
I'm pushing all the buttons but nothing's happening
Please, God, don't let anybody see me
Please, God, I'll do anything you ask me
I promise no more walks of shame”
Pink – Walk Of Shame Lyrics

What is going on inside my head this week? I have had a number of weird dreams recently and I am starting to think they will all be melding into one larger dream soon and I am starting to hate this process. Huh? Wait, what?

Ok, let me explain… As I mentioned once before, my dreams have a tendency to do a strange cinematography, time-lapse effect thingy. Very descriptive, I know. Basically, I will dream in fragments and often different pieces will happen on different nights. Once I put them all together they flow more smoothly. Kind of like a puzzle I guess. Sometimes only seconds are missing and other times a whole chunk could be gone. I had a recurring dream once that lasted well over a year that I was able to put together into a short story by the time it was done; only it never really had an ending - yet. I am usually able to connect where these fragments originated from in my day to day life, but not always.

So, what’s going on?

DH is away for work right now so I am a work-widow once again. Wonderful timing, but this is usually when my mind starts playing little tricks on me. I have been sleeping with an extra blanket since the weekend and for some reason I got tangled in it the other night. I woke up, but only partially, and it felt like someone was wrapped around me or draped over me. It felt almost heavy, like DH was actually there. I fixed the blanket and went back to sleep but when I woke up I could have sworn someone had actually been in bed with me over night…

And then, the other night I mentioned to a friend that I get paranoid when DH is away so I always put the alarm on. This then parlayed into another weird dream where I asked a co-worker to spend the night in my house with me because I was afraid to be alone and somehow this turned into me agreeing to stay at his house, closer to work, because it was more convenient. Fast forward and I am pulling a “walk of shame” out of his condo the following morning, to the elevator which isn’t working (see lyrics above to a song I have been listening to a lot lately) so I take the stairs and run into the friend I had talked to the other night. She pulls me into her place and gives me a whole “what do you think you’re doing” scolding and that was when I woke up.

Now I am questioning if the blanket thing ever really happened or if it was part of this dream creeping in out of place. And, what happened from the time I agreed to go with the co-worker until my “walk of shame” moment, or do I not want to know? I really wish there were a way to record what happens in your dreams because I swear no one would believe me half of the time!

Anyhow, I love my DH and I would never do anything to hurt him so this was definitely FAR FROM REAL!I wonder what will happen in my dreams tonight...