... I have just been kind of busy the last few weeks.
DH just got back from California and is leaving again next week, I am going to physio for my shoulder weekly (and trying to avoid the computer as much as possible because of this), we are trying to finish up projects around the house both inside and out, my BFF is coming to visit in a couple of weeks and I am trying to get my birthday plans set for later this month as well. In the midst of all this, some strange and tragic events took place and that kind of threw me off for a few days as well because I just wasn't able to focus on anything.
Things are starting to come together though, and I have 2 entries started already so hopefully I will be able to post something soon! Thanks for being patient, despite some subtle hints from some of you that I have been "absent"!
All is well, just busier than usual!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sex and the City
"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
So, whenever DH goes away I seem to go on DVD marathons. This time was with Sex and the City; the series not the movie. When this show first aired I didn't like it at all. Maybe I was too young. But, a few years ago when I was going through moments of insomnia, I would catch late night re-runs of the show on television and I fell in love. I bought the whole series on Ebay and had my first SATC marathon.
Since doing the tour in NYC a few months ago and watching the second movie I have wanted to watch them all over again so this was the perfect time; and it was absofuckinlutely fabulous (inside SATC vocabulary). The last episode, An American Girl in Paris: Part Deux, brought tears to my eyes as usual and made me want to watch them all over again... but that will have to wait because I just got Mad About You (season 4) and I have been waiting years for this! Why they have waited 3 years between DVD releases is beyond me. I guess it will take another 9 years before I have the complete series... and then I get to have a MAY marathon!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Please, Do Not Join the Club...
In the words of one of my neighbors, and a fellow PCOS inflicted woman, people who have been TTC for less than a year cannot possibly empathise with us; they can only give us sympathy. The problem is, they expect sympathy in return when we have nothing left to give of oursleves. They have no idea how "hard" getting pregnant can be. They have no idea how lucky they are to be TTC without a million hurdles in their way, only the regular fairytale of ups and downs and the more than likely happily ever after. They think that because they are TTC at the same time as we are that they are part of our "club", but our club does not take members who are young and healthy and living the dream. Our club requires initiation, and sometimes years of "hazing", and yes... emotional baggage.
I am part of this club, and honestly, I feel as though we have enough members already so there is no need to apply! Before I joined I thought I was the only one, but since then it seems as though everywhere I turn I find others. True members, who have gone through battle to get where they are now and have emotional scars to prove it. And then there are the girls who only think they belong in our club; the ones who have been living the fairytale and believe that they know what a struggle is. It's not that I don't feel for them, but after a few months of trying they honestly cannot understand what five years of trying can do to a person both physically and emotionally. It sounds cruel, and possibly childish, but you don't belong in our club and I hope that you never, EVER, get a membership card.
I realize that this post is going to annoy a couple of people who read my blog, but it is not meant to hurt you. In the same way that you do not understand what it takes to be a member of our club, we do not understand why you want to be a part of it. People in my shoes envy you. We want your fairytale. We want your optimism. We want your naivety. And sometimes, we want your support to give us strength. But why would you want our sorrow? Our tears? Our frustration? Our lives? We understand that after a few months of TTC you think that your world is closing in on you; we get it, far more than you do. But, what you need to understand is that a few months can never compare to a few years... and that is why we will never truly be able to support each other; we speak different languages and we come from very different worlds.
For those of you who are already members, stay strong and stay hopeful. For those of you who are almost members, you are not alone. And, for those of you who think you belong after only a few months of TTC, wait another 6 months and then look into applying.
It's not day camp, it's not a picnic, and it's not a day at the park... it's a way of life. A way of life I never thought I would experience and would never wish on my worst enemy.
I am part of this club, and honestly, I feel as though we have enough members already so there is no need to apply! Before I joined I thought I was the only one, but since then it seems as though everywhere I turn I find others. True members, who have gone through battle to get where they are now and have emotional scars to prove it. And then there are the girls who only think they belong in our club; the ones who have been living the fairytale and believe that they know what a struggle is. It's not that I don't feel for them, but after a few months of trying they honestly cannot understand what five years of trying can do to a person both physically and emotionally. It sounds cruel, and possibly childish, but you don't belong in our club and I hope that you never, EVER, get a membership card.
I realize that this post is going to annoy a couple of people who read my blog, but it is not meant to hurt you. In the same way that you do not understand what it takes to be a member of our club, we do not understand why you want to be a part of it. People in my shoes envy you. We want your fairytale. We want your optimism. We want your naivety. And sometimes, we want your support to give us strength. But why would you want our sorrow? Our tears? Our frustration? Our lives? We understand that after a few months of TTC you think that your world is closing in on you; we get it, far more than you do. But, what you need to understand is that a few months can never compare to a few years... and that is why we will never truly be able to support each other; we speak different languages and we come from very different worlds.
For those of you who are already members, stay strong and stay hopeful. For those of you who are almost members, you are not alone. And, for those of you who think you belong after only a few months of TTC, wait another 6 months and then look into applying.
It's not day camp, it's not a picnic, and it's not a day at the park... it's a way of life. A way of life I never thought I would experience and would never wish on my worst enemy.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Getting Worse Before Getting Better
Since DH is gone I have been spending most of the evenings this last week in the living room, on the couch, with the laptop and my Sex and the City DVD's. It was my attempt to relax, however, a couple of night ago my shoulder decided to give out on me. I couldn't even lift my own purse (which I admit is heavy but not THAT heavy).
So, yesterday I went to the spa and treated myself to a deep tissue massage in an attempt to heal my shoulder. It was awesome... but I realized something; it wasn't just my shoulder. My back, neck, shoulders, arms, legs, feet... every inch of me was tense! Even the masseuse pointed it out and asked me why I let it get so bad. And you know what? I don't know; I guess I was just preoccupied and forgetting about ME again.
I left the spa feeling much better and my shoulder barely hurts now, but I am glad I made another appointment in a couple of weeks because I think all of the pain that was in my shoulder has spread over the rest of my back and neck and I feel as stiff as a board! The masseuse said I would probably feel worse before I feel better and boy did she know what she was talking about!
Since last night I have been chillin' with Bengay, my heating pad, and my Sex and the City. I have a somewhat busy weekend planned but today I am off work, home, alone, and relaxing! And it feels good! Oh, and I suddenly understand the appeal of having a hot tub because if I had one, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this right now!
Note: On July 27 I started going to Physio for this problem and also re-arranged my whole office. Getting better now!
So, yesterday I went to the spa and treated myself to a deep tissue massage in an attempt to heal my shoulder. It was awesome... but I realized something; it wasn't just my shoulder. My back, neck, shoulders, arms, legs, feet... every inch of me was tense! Even the masseuse pointed it out and asked me why I let it get so bad. And you know what? I don't know; I guess I was just preoccupied and forgetting about ME again.
I left the spa feeling much better and my shoulder barely hurts now, but I am glad I made another appointment in a couple of weeks because I think all of the pain that was in my shoulder has spread over the rest of my back and neck and I feel as stiff as a board! The masseuse said I would probably feel worse before I feel better and boy did she know what she was talking about!
Since last night I have been chillin' with Bengay, my heating pad, and my Sex and the City. I have a somewhat busy weekend planned but today I am off work, home, alone, and relaxing! And it feels good! Oh, and I suddenly understand the appeal of having a hot tub because if I had one, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this right now!
Note: On July 27 I started going to Physio for this problem and also re-arranged my whole office. Getting better now!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Happy Birthday to my Wonderful Hubby!
"A best friend is like a four leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have."
Once again, it's your birthday and we find ourselves on opposite ends of North America; me here at home and you, surrounded by palm trees in California. I realize that you are working and probably exhausted, but try and have a great day! Go and have a nice dinner tonight and top it off with a big piece of cake!
I love you, I miss you, and I am counting down the days until you come home.
Happy Birthday!
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