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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Round 3: Step 4 (Damn oyster…)

I mentioned the other day that I was a little discouraged and this has now multiplied exponentially. Normally I am not at the hospital much more than an hour or an hour and a half, but yesterday ended up being nearly 3 hours long and I spent most of it sitting and waiting because things were misplaced, other people had problems and I had to wait my turn, etc… not to mention that the ONE person I don’t feel comfortable with there is the one who ended up doing my scan and that just made me feel even worse. Honestly… when I heard this guy was a DOCTOR I nearly fell off my chair. He reminds me of a garbage man or an orderly at best… not a doctor! Very unprofessional looking and with the type of ultrasounds I have (internal and yes, vaginal) he is just too sleazy for my tastes!!! I felt like I needed a good shower and scrub afterwards!

Anyhow, yesterday was CD11 and my second ultrasound after taking 4 more injections at 37.5 IU (so 8 total now, or 300 IU). The hope was that the 7mm follicle would have continued to grow and the others would have stayed the same or grown only a little but that there would still be the larger dominant one. Well, no such luck. Welcome to the world of PCOS. I now have about a dozen follicles that are all about 6-7mm and no dominant (larger) follicle.

Initially, this sounds great; but, it’s not. I have been put on a new dose of medication for 4 days (and had to buy another pen for 300$); 75 IU one day, 37.5 the next, 75, 37.5… and then I have another ultrasound Saturday morning (CD15). The hope is that no more than 4 follicles will continue to grow because if I have more than that they will not be able to continue with IUI due to the risks and, due to PCOS, ovarian hyper stimulation is a definite concern right now. As I have mentioned before, I could always extract some of the eggs to freeze for future use with in-vitro fertilization (IVF) in order to decrease the amount used for IUI or just switch over to IVF all together but those are some very expensive options and I don’t have the mental energy to think about them right now.

And to add to all of this, my body seems to detest the 75 IU dose so far. I had a splitting headache less than an hour after taking it last night. I took some Advil and I managed to sleep from about 8:30 last night until my alarm this morning. And then as I was running around getting ready this morning I was hit with massive nausea momentarily until I threw up and then it was gone. Or so I thought… I have now been nauseous all morning and have cramps on my left side. Thankfully, I take a lower dose tonight!

So, to everyone who keeps asking me how I have remained so strong through all of this… I can honestly say that yesterday was the first time that I have truly felt as though I couldn’t handle this much longer. Every time I talk about the situation I can feel tears stinging at my eyes. Of course, I am sticking with it and looking ahead to the greater picture but right now I feel horrible and drained both mentally and physically. I just need a couple of days to get my strength back up so that I will be ready for the next appointment. And, while I have a huge support system surrounding me I realize that I am also a “pillar of strength” for others but I just don’t have the energy to deal with everything right now because I barely have enough strength for myself and my own problems at the moment. I am sorry that I cannot be there for everyone at once, but I know that you all understand and I am thankful for that. I will get back to those who have e-mailed me or left me messages as soon as I can.

The saga continues…