It is hard to believe I have maintained this blog for four whole years now. And not only have I maintained it, but I am trying to expand on it as well! In the beginning I thought that I would be writing only for myself and that nobody would read this, but every time I check Google Analytics (which tracks and reports a number of details for me) I am pleasantly surprised to see that not only a few people visit my blog, but hundreds from all around the globe! I am just a tiny little fish in a big ocean, but it feels good!
So, nearly a year ago I wrote that we were looking into different options regarding treatment because I was no longer happy with the public hospital system and lack of care. Ok, that was putting it mildly; I was beyond pissed and completely fed up of being a number! There, I said it! I also said that I would not be sharing too many details publically about treatment in the future, at least in the beginning, and I am sticking to that but I wanted to share a little bit of good news in the meantime.
We did in fact look into other options last August, and we ended up at a semi-private clinic with a doctor I had previously met at the hospital who I liked very much. It was actually this doctor that convinced me to go for IVM vs. IVF way back when. He was happy to take our case on and we have met a number of times since, and always on time! While I am extremely happy with the clinic itself, I have to redo all of my tests before we can go ahead with anything else and that has been a bit frustrating. Of course, since it is semi-private we need to pay for everything we do, but that was to be expected and we are ok with that. What bothers me is that I seem to have developed a bit of anxiety towards the whole process.
Every time I go for a test, other than blood tests, I get extremely nervous and anxious in the days leading up to it; like, even seeing my regular Gynecologist made me squirm. I have had a couple of ultrasounds already to confirm that I still have PCOS (duh!), we will be doing a mock-transfer (yes, you read that correctly – a pretend embryo transfer to see if there will be any future challenges) and another sonohystogram in the near future (Google that one, I hate it).
Even having been through the whole process many times before, knowing what each step involves and having access to better pain medication through the private facility I still get weird about it! I sincerely hope that I get over this fast because I want to enjoy this process as much as possible and not grow fearful of it… sigh.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Writer’s Block?
I keep telling myself that I just have writer’s block, something I have experienced countless times before, but I think my problem is actually the contrary. Over the last couple of months I have drafted numerous blog entries (yes, I do pre-write for quiet times or just to get things off my chest), come up with many ideas for new things to write about, spoken to a few people about guest blogging, and more… yet I have been posting less!
Clearly this blog has gone off focus for some time now, from where it began anyway, but that doesn’t mean that my focus in real life has in the least. I do plan do get this space back on sync with everything that is going on sooner rather than later, but I am just not ready yet; I need a little bit more time for that. Maybe that’s the block? Maybe because I am not ready to write about what I created this space for, I just can’t seem to write about anything? Or maybe I just can’t focus because I have wandered off into too many ideas?
I honestly miss writing half of the time. And not just blogging; creative writing, poetry, short stories… things I always used to do. I was half considering taking a writing class the other day just so that I could explore that side of my creativity again. Then I looked into it and asked myself when I ever needed a class to write! It sounds kind of ridiculous, no? Mind you, lately I can’t even stick to one simple book to read so maybe writing is a stretch. I used to read a book every week or two but now I have a pile on my e-reader and on my bookshelf, waiting, and I can’t seem to get into any of them.
I have also been dealing with insomnia for the last week or so again, but that is because DH is away. I try to go to bed at a reasonable hour and instead I end up doing all kinds of things that I know will keep me up. Right now, it is nearly an hour after I wanted to go to bed and instead I was fixing some of the backend of my blog, listening to a new album I got (Lorde – Pure Heroine) and writing this entry. None of which are anywhere near the idea of sleep!
And on that note, I really do need to get to bed! Maybe I need to jot down all of my ideas and try to get them into some sense of order so that I can focus on them better. But not tomorrow, because DH is coming home! Yay! No more insomnia!
Goodnight, for real this time...
Clearly this blog has gone off focus for some time now, from where it began anyway, but that doesn’t mean that my focus in real life has in the least. I do plan do get this space back on sync with everything that is going on sooner rather than later, but I am just not ready yet; I need a little bit more time for that. Maybe that’s the block? Maybe because I am not ready to write about what I created this space for, I just can’t seem to write about anything? Or maybe I just can’t focus because I have wandered off into too many ideas?
I honestly miss writing half of the time. And not just blogging; creative writing, poetry, short stories… things I always used to do. I was half considering taking a writing class the other day just so that I could explore that side of my creativity again. Then I looked into it and asked myself when I ever needed a class to write! It sounds kind of ridiculous, no? Mind you, lately I can’t even stick to one simple book to read so maybe writing is a stretch. I used to read a book every week or two but now I have a pile on my e-reader and on my bookshelf, waiting, and I can’t seem to get into any of them.
I have also been dealing with insomnia for the last week or so again, but that is because DH is away. I try to go to bed at a reasonable hour and instead I end up doing all kinds of things that I know will keep me up. Right now, it is nearly an hour after I wanted to go to bed and instead I was fixing some of the backend of my blog, listening to a new album I got (Lorde – Pure Heroine) and writing this entry. None of which are anywhere near the idea of sleep!
And on that note, I really do need to get to bed! Maybe I need to jot down all of my ideas and try to get them into some sense of order so that I can focus on them better. But not tomorrow, because DH is coming home! Yay! No more insomnia!
Goodnight, for real this time...
Friday, March 28, 2014
March Madness 2014
Is it already the end of March? Looking outside, it feels like Winter is only beginning. Can we get another Christmas (2 week break included)? It has been so cold this year and the snow never seems to end! But everyone keeps telling me I am not allowed to complain since we just got back from vacation!
We normally go away for 7 days in February, but that never seems long enough so I was happy to find a good price for 10 days in March instead. It fell right on our anniversary week too so it seemed like a great idea! And it was, except that I now realize that 14 days wouldn't be too long as I had previously thought! You know what that means, right? Honestly though, it was great. The weather was beautiful except for about a day of rain, and it was a resort we have been to before and love so it really felt like going home; knowing our way around, seeing familiar faces, and settling in almost immediately. We made the most of our extra days there for sure!
DH is going to NYC next week, but only overnight. I toyed with the idea of going and extending our stay there but since we just got back and everything I decided to stay home. He is being sent to Tiffany's for me though! I figured I would save on airfare and spend the money there instead!
With March going by so fast we never made it to the Sugar Shack when we usually go. Because of some recent developments health wise, part of me knows I shouldn't be going but the rest of me is shouting "go and enjoy, in moderation"... guess which side won that argument? We will be going next week! As usual, I sent an open invitation to a bunch of people so we will see what happens; we have been as little as 2 and as many as 20 people in the past with that kind of planning!
We normally go away for 7 days in February, but that never seems long enough so I was happy to find a good price for 10 days in March instead. It fell right on our anniversary week too so it seemed like a great idea! And it was, except that I now realize that 14 days wouldn't be too long as I had previously thought! You know what that means, right? Honestly though, it was great. The weather was beautiful except for about a day of rain, and it was a resort we have been to before and love so it really felt like going home; knowing our way around, seeing familiar faces, and settling in almost immediately. We made the most of our extra days there for sure!
DH is going to NYC next week, but only overnight. I toyed with the idea of going and extending our stay there but since we just got back and everything I decided to stay home. He is being sent to Tiffany's for me though! I figured I would save on airfare and spend the money there instead!
With March going by so fast we never made it to the Sugar Shack when we usually go. Because of some recent developments health wise, part of me knows I shouldn't be going but the rest of me is shouting "go and enjoy, in moderation"... guess which side won that argument? We will be going next week! As usual, I sent an open invitation to a bunch of people so we will see what happens; we have been as little as 2 and as many as 20 people in the past with that kind of planning!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Your Right To Vote!
I admit that, in the past, I have not always run to the polls to exercise my right to vote. And, generally speaking, I never faced any regrets afterwards because things always turned out the way I would have voted anyhow. But, looking back, this was dumb. The decision to not vote could have had negative consequences, and it is a decision that far too many people choose to make unfortunately. Every vote counts!
I don’t like to talk politics, and rarely do, but I have to say that our current “government” is ruining La Belle Province in my opinion!
Canada is a democratic society. What is democracy? According to Wikipedia, “Democracy is a form of government in which all eligible citizens participate equally—either directly or indirectly through elected representatives—in the proposal, development, and creation of laws. It encompasses social, religious, cultural, ethnic and racial equality, justice, liberty and fraternity.”
Unfortunately, I don’t think our current government got that information! Forget the current disaster of our healthcare system and our economics for a minute. Trying to create laws banning people from wearing religious symbols? Sanctioning people for speaking English in Canada? Attempting to restrict access to English schooling? And, last but not least, an agenda to hold a referendum to separate too?
Enough is enough!
I have health issues, and I couldn’t care less about what you are wearing on your head or around your neck when you are treating me so long as you know what you are doing.
I was raised with both French AND English in my everyday life; school, church, extra-curricular activities, neighborhood, friends and family. And in my adult life, I am now beginning to add more and more Italian and Spanish to my repertoire too. And this is now being seen as a crime? You know, studies have shown that people who speak more than one language are smarter and there are many benefits of bilingualism. Google it, there are studies worldwide that support this! Clearly someone (points to government) needs to learn a second language! Why not try English?
And telling me where I can and cannot send my future children to school, based solely on language? I’m sorry, but I would rather pay exorbitant amounts of private school fees to an English school than have my child’s education dictated to me. Ironically, until recently, I always said I would send my future children to a French school but I no longer have faith in what they will be taught in that system if the current government is any example or their teachings.
And about separating from Canada… this just makes me laugh. I was only 16 years old when the last referendum on sovereignty was held and I remember having to write a paper about the possibility of separation and how I felt about it. And you know what I wrote? I said that if Quebec were stupid enough to separate, the rest of Canada wouldn’t bat an eyelash. And when Quebec desperately came crawling back to ask for help, because it could not sustain itself, Canada would have no problem turning their backs on Quebec and refusing to take them back and I don’t blame them! The only problem with that is that I fully believe if that were to happen, the USA would buy us out and I don’t know what would be worse… to be a former Canadian or to be American!
So, to wrap up… if you have been like me and opted not to vote a few times in the past – this is not the time for that nonsense! And if you have never voted before, there is a first time for everything! If you don't vote, then you don't get the right to complain about the results afterwards! We look at other countries around the world on the news every day and criticize their dictatorships and wish them well, all while we throw away our own rights and freedoms because we do not see their value… don’t let us become one of them!
Proud Canadian… but a not so proud Quebecer at the moment!
I don’t like to talk politics, and rarely do, but I have to say that our current “government” is ruining La Belle Province in my opinion!
Canada is a democratic society. What is democracy? According to Wikipedia, “Democracy is a form of government in which all eligible citizens participate equally—either directly or indirectly through elected representatives—in the proposal, development, and creation of laws. It encompasses social, religious, cultural, ethnic and racial equality, justice, liberty and fraternity.”
Unfortunately, I don’t think our current government got that information! Forget the current disaster of our healthcare system and our economics for a minute. Trying to create laws banning people from wearing religious symbols? Sanctioning people for speaking English in Canada? Attempting to restrict access to English schooling? And, last but not least, an agenda to hold a referendum to separate too?
Enough is enough!
I have health issues, and I couldn’t care less about what you are wearing on your head or around your neck when you are treating me so long as you know what you are doing.
I was raised with both French AND English in my everyday life; school, church, extra-curricular activities, neighborhood, friends and family. And in my adult life, I am now beginning to add more and more Italian and Spanish to my repertoire too. And this is now being seen as a crime? You know, studies have shown that people who speak more than one language are smarter and there are many benefits of bilingualism. Google it, there are studies worldwide that support this! Clearly someone (points to government) needs to learn a second language! Why not try English?
And telling me where I can and cannot send my future children to school, based solely on language? I’m sorry, but I would rather pay exorbitant amounts of private school fees to an English school than have my child’s education dictated to me. Ironically, until recently, I always said I would send my future children to a French school but I no longer have faith in what they will be taught in that system if the current government is any example or their teachings.
And about separating from Canada… this just makes me laugh. I was only 16 years old when the last referendum on sovereignty was held and I remember having to write a paper about the possibility of separation and how I felt about it. And you know what I wrote? I said that if Quebec were stupid enough to separate, the rest of Canada wouldn’t bat an eyelash. And when Quebec desperately came crawling back to ask for help, because it could not sustain itself, Canada would have no problem turning their backs on Quebec and refusing to take them back and I don’t blame them! The only problem with that is that I fully believe if that were to happen, the USA would buy us out and I don’t know what would be worse… to be a former Canadian or to be American!
So, to wrap up… if you have been like me and opted not to vote a few times in the past – this is not the time for that nonsense! And if you have never voted before, there is a first time for everything! If you don't vote, then you don't get the right to complain about the results afterwards! We look at other countries around the world on the news every day and criticize their dictatorships and wish them well, all while we throw away our own rights and freedoms because we do not see their value… don’t let us become one of them!
Proud Canadian… but a not so proud Quebecer at the moment!
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Call Me, Maybe? Or Don't...
Have you ever noticed that there are some people that only seem to be in your life for their own benefit? Like, they seem to enjoy being associated with you (or something about you) but they don’t really ever take the time to get to know you, personally? In recent weeks I have seen a few of these situations go too far and it really bothered me even though I wasn’t the one directly affected because we have all been there at some point!
For example, referring to someone a good friend (and going one step farther to use them as a reference) because they have a certain name and/or status within a specific community but you really don’t know anything personal about them unless it has been posted it on social media.
Or when you are personally going through something life changing and then, often through curiosity, a bunch of “old friends” come out of the woodwork and you think that you have a new found support system… until the intrigue has worn off, they all disappear, and then you are back on your own again.
Or it could be as simple as you have something they don’t, so they call when they need it and you never hear from them otherwise!
Speaking of calling, with all the technology advancements we have today I have always found it amazing how some people’s phones only seem to be able to RECEIVE calls (sarcasm intended).
Sometimes I think we need to ask ourselves if we want/need a particular person or if they are simply satisfying a specific want/need. And vice-versa, does this person really want me in their life or am I just satisfying a need for them? Don’t get me wrong, if that is ok for you then by all means continue… but in many cases, personally, I don’t care for it.
I think I have done a pretty good job of removing these relationships from my life over the years and I don’t plan to welcome them back any time soon. I would rather have one true friend, than a hundred of those listed above… and thankfully, I am blessed to have MANY true friends!
For example, referring to someone a good friend (and going one step farther to use them as a reference) because they have a certain name and/or status within a specific community but you really don’t know anything personal about them unless it has been posted it on social media.
Or when you are personally going through something life changing and then, often through curiosity, a bunch of “old friends” come out of the woodwork and you think that you have a new found support system… until the intrigue has worn off, they all disappear, and then you are back on your own again.
Or it could be as simple as you have something they don’t, so they call when they need it and you never hear from them otherwise!
Speaking of calling, with all the technology advancements we have today I have always found it amazing how some people’s phones only seem to be able to RECEIVE calls (sarcasm intended).
Sometimes I think we need to ask ourselves if we want/need a particular person or if they are simply satisfying a specific want/need. And vice-versa, does this person really want me in their life or am I just satisfying a need for them? Don’t get me wrong, if that is ok for you then by all means continue… but in many cases, personally, I don’t care for it.
I think I have done a pretty good job of removing these relationships from my life over the years and I don’t plan to welcome them back any time soon. I would rather have one true friend, than a hundred of those listed above… and thankfully, I am blessed to have MANY true friends!
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