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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Turning Over A New Leaf

It is hard to believe I have maintained this blog for four whole years now. And not only have I maintained it, but I am trying to expand on it as well! In the beginning I thought that I would be writing only for myself and that nobody would read this, but every time I check Google Analytics (which tracks and reports a number of details for me) I am pleasantly surprised to see that not only a few people visit my blog, but hundreds from all around the globe! I am just a tiny little fish in a big ocean, but it feels good!

So, nearly a year ago I wrote that we were looking into different options regarding treatment because I was no longer happy with the public hospital system and lack of care. Ok, that was putting it mildly; I was beyond pissed and completely fed up of being a number! There, I said it! I also said that I would not be sharing too many details publically about treatment in the future, at least in the beginning, and I am sticking to that but I wanted to share a little bit of good news in the meantime.

We did in fact look into other options last August, and we ended up at a semi-private clinic with a doctor I had previously met at the hospital who I liked very much. It was actually this doctor that convinced me to go for IVM vs. IVF way back when. He was happy to take our case on and we have met a number of times since, and always on time! While I am extremely happy with the clinic itself, I have to redo all of my tests before we can go ahead with anything else and that has been a bit frustrating. Of course, since it is semi-private we need to pay for everything we do, but that was to be expected and we are ok with that. What bothers me is that I seem to have developed a bit of anxiety towards the whole process.

Every time I go for a test, other than blood tests, I get extremely nervous and anxious in the days leading up to it; like, even seeing my regular Gynecologist made me squirm. I have had a couple of ultrasounds already to confirm that I still have PCOS (duh!), we will be doing a mock-transfer (yes, you read that correctly – a pretend embryo transfer to see if there will be any future challenges) and another sonohystogram in the near future (Google that one, I hate it).

Even having been through the whole process many times before, knowing what each step involves and having access to better pain medication through the private facility I still get weird about it! I sincerely hope that I get over this fast because I want to enjoy this process as much as possible and not grow fearful of it… sigh.