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Friday, April 23, 2010

Round 2: Step 3 (Final Ultrasound) - Strike! You're out!

I had my second and last ultrasound for Round 2 today and there were no changes from Monday. If anything, the one follicle I had was decreasing in size it seems. I am not quite sure if I am feeling my heart beating, or throbbing from being stomped on. For years I waited as patiently as possible to start Clomid … YEARS! I thought it would be the answer to my prayers, but it has failed… 2-0 Clomid.

The doctor on call was going to try Clomid one more time with a higher dose, but I had spoken to my doctor earlier and he agreed that injections would be the best way to go from here. DH was with me today because I knew it would be an emotional appointment and I also knew there was a high chance that we would need to learn how to do the injections. Unfortunately though, my doctor was called into an emergency so I wasn’t able to see him to get the prescription. Without knowing which injections he was going to prescribe, the nursing staff was unable to teach us today.

So, now we wait. I have an appointment on May 6th with my doctor unless he has an earlier cancellation. From there, I start the Provera again and then I go in for an ultrasound around CD1 from what I understand. At this time, they will teach us how to do the injections and I will proceed to freak out (mildly). It seems that the injections have a higher rate of success, but also a higher rate of ovarian hyper stimulation; where numerous follicles begin to develop, thus causing the ovaries to become swollen and enlarged… and painful! Ovulation induction will only be done if you have 4 mature follicles or less. Anything more than that and you are at risk for multiple multiplies and it is not safe. You can however extract some to decrease the amount induced and you can freeze them for future use with in-vitro fertilization (IVF). This is expensive but may be worth it!

A couple of people have asked me today if this is really all worth it. Why am I willing to put myself through all of this? Well, it is because I am stubborn, determined, willing, and able. I want this so badly and I will not let PCOS defeat or deflate me. I admit that I am on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster right now, but it is nothing compared to everything I have been through in the past. It is tough, but it is with purpose and the greater picture is what gets me through. I don’t think I have ever wanted something so badly in all my life…