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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Close to home...

When I was younger I remember visiting my grandmother in the hospital, but I was too young to understand why she was there. Over the years I came to understand that she had been in the hospital for a mastectomy due to breast cancer. I have known since then that I need to be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary, but was not overly concerned as it was my grandmother and not my mother.

Well, this has now changed. As many of you know, I do not really have a relationship with my parents and I do not have any siblings. My mother and I e-mail each other but generally only in regards to my grandmother and not much more than that. This morning, this changed. I received an e-mail from my mother and it did not have anything to do with my grandmother.

About a week ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She will be having surgery in May or June, radiation therapy, and possibly chemo.

It’s strange and a bit difficult to process all of this information because we are not close at all. On one hand, it is really affecting me and I am concerned for her health. On the other, I don’t know what I could possibly do or even how to reach out to her without going through pain all over again. I don’t have the will or the energy to go through that process right now.

So, now I have diabetes and heart disease on my father’s side of the family and cancer (2 types so far) on my mother’s side. Add all of MY health issues on top of all this and you start to wonder how I wasn’t weeded out during the process of evolution and natural selection! I just hope my kids get DH’s medical history and not mine…