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Saturday, March 12, 2016

365 Days

“A million miles later
We walked through the valley of the darkest night
We made it through the fire
We're scarred and we're bruised, but our hearts will guide us
Together, I know our love's gonna last forever
We're gonna be alright… tonight” 

A year ago we secretly took what we now know to have been the last step in our journey of TTC with PCOS. Yes, today marks one year since we did our fourth and final FET resulting in our little girl! And can you believe she is almost 4 months old already?!

Today also marks 15 years with my current employer and a little later this week will be 14 years with DH! It’s a big week!

So, despite my expected anxiety, we are going on our very first date night as Mommy and Daddy to celebrate... life! My MIL is coming over to watch the LO (another first, another mini panic attack) and we are keeping with tradition by going to our usual anniversary spot – Garde Manger. I remember we went a little early last year, knowing that I would be on bed rest from the FET by the time our anniversary came around, and there was a couple next to us who were very pregnant and enjoying their last date night before their due date. I said to DH that the following year, this year, we could be sitting in the exact same spot as parents ourselves and it seems that dream came true!

It’s actually kind of strange to look back at those times and think about how easy everything seemed. I always felt like we used to waste so much of our time doing absolutely nothing! And now, there are times where I would kill for a lazy wasted day – free of worry! Although that could be the PPD and PPA talking...

This may be Captain Obvious talking, but our lives change when we have kids… and I wouldn’t give it up for a second!

I love this kid more than anything in the world. She is actually a super easy, happy baby for the most part so I don’t know what I have to complain about! I worry about her 24/7, I always put her needs before my own, I am trying to do everything “right” by her (even though everybody has an opinion on rights and wrongs), and I am trying to be the best Mom that I can possibly be. I plan to give her unconditional love, unrestricted nurturing and just enough dysfunction to make her funny... and so far I think I am succeeding with all of the above!

Happy anniversary to my DH, and LO too! I love you both with all my heart and you both make me a better person today than I was yesterday. You complete me.