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Tuesday, February 2, 2016

No, She Is Not Hungry!

O.M.G I need to rant!

I don’t know if this is age related, cultural, a grandma-ism or what but, whatever it is, it needs to stop! It has been happening since baby girl was barely a day old and it is now 10 weeks later. Every single time my child starts to cry or fuss, my MIL asks “Is she hungry?” like it’s the only possible reason she is crying!

She’s a baby. She cries. She cannot use her words yet. And food is not the answer to everything!

If she were hungry, would I simply be trying to soothe her?
If she were hungry, would I just be checking her diaper?
If she were hungry, would I only be putting her in the swing?
If she were hungry, would I be asking her what’s wrong?

No! If she were hungry, I would be attempting to feed her!

Yesterday, I had just finished feeding her and put her down in the playpen so that I could get myself ready as we were going out for supper. She fell asleep, but not into a deep sleep, just as my MIL rang the doorbell. This startled her, just as it had done earlier in the day when it rang, and she started to cry a little. Damnit! As I opened the door, my MIL heard her and said “Hi… Oh, is she hungry?” before she even got in the house! I told her no, I had just fed her and she was just being fussy. Not 5 minutes later I picked the baby up to finish getting her ready as well and she started to cry again. Right away my MIL asks “Are you sure she’s not hungry?” again!

No, she is not hungry!!!

We keep a log of every time this child eats and has a diaper change (including what was in it). DH and I use this to communicate with one another in a way so that if one of us goes out or it’s the middle of the night and she starts to fuss we can figure out what she needs. It also helps us track her patterns so that we can anticipate when and what to expect. I realize my MIL has no idea about this, but can she not at least trust that our instincts are probably best? Not to mention that her “I’m hungry” cry is far different from her “I’m not happy with something” cry and we know this! I’m not saying that my MIL should understand each and every one of her cries distinctly, but she should at least have the common sense to know that not every cry means she is hungry!

The first time this happened was in the hospital on that wonderfully awful day when they refused to give me formula. While the baby screamed at the top of her little lungs, my MIL asked that damn question over and over again and YES, in that case on that particular day this poor little girl was starving and there was nothing I could do about it. It made me feel awful and horrible and all kinds of emotions I can’t even explain, and every single time my MIL looks at me and asks that bloody question since then a little part of me goes back there and I am tired of reliving that moment of my life!

Oh, and to make matters worse? After already handling a mini meltdown at the restaurant because the baby was a little overwhelmed with all the activity and noise around her (and in fact hungry which I attended to immediately), we get back home and one of the cats started meowing and my MIL immediately asks if SHE was hungry! That's it, I'm done! Had we not had house guests as well at the moment (a family of 3 from Germany) I would have lost it! This is not the first time she has asked this in regards to the cats and I have repeatedly told her that they have a bowl of food and another of water out 24/7 so they can eat and drink whenever they want! Again, they are cats. They meow. They cannot now, or ever, use their words. And, food is not the answer to everything!

GAH! Ok, rant over… for now.