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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

A Resolution of Privacy

It may sound like a New Year’s Resolution since it all started around the holidays, but deciding to be more private in my day to day life as well as on social platforms was more of a life choice that I made for myself. I was nervous about it at first, becoming so open over the last few years, but it has been extremely therapeutic and I am very happy with my decision despite some unexpected losses.

Instead of putting anything and everything on Facebook like I used to, I divide my posts over multiple platforms now and I am much more selective about them. I have also done a massive cleanup over the last few months, un-friending at least a third of my so-called “friends”. Honestly, it all started when I saw one of these “friends” walking down the street one day and I immediately took my cellphone out to busy myself so I wouldn’t have to say hi. Pathetic, I know! While I had my phone in my hand, I logged onto Facebook and deleted that person along with a handful of others and have been doing that from time to time ever since. And I have become a big fan of privacy lists as well, especially for the Facebook stalkers and immature/rude commentators who just want to start arguments. Some I un-friend right away, others I block until I decide what I want to do with them. The best was when one person only realized months later that they had been un-friended and then freaked out about it… really? If you didn’t notice that I had disappeared from your news feed for about five months, were we ever really THAT close? I don’t think so. I am looking to be popular and I don’t care how many friends I have on Facebook; it doesn’t define me. In my world less is more and quality trumps quantity. I would rather have one good friend over one hundred acquaintances!

And yes, getting back to social media, I have even embraced Instagram! I admit, I didn’t use to see the point of it but I actually have a lot of fun with it sometimes now too. But, I still have my love and hate relationship with Twitter and I don’t think that will change anytime soon. C’est la vie!

Initially, while I took time to figure myself out, I thought I had pulled back a little too much in my personal life in addition to my on-line presence. But, through that process I unintentionally ended up learning a little bit more about some people around me so I am kind of glad things worked out the way they did. It’s unfortunate that a lot of it was negative, but it was necessary and I have no regrets. If there is one thing I hate in this world over anything else its selfishness, and some people showed their true colors in more ways than one. Strangers stab you in the back, but true friends stab you where it hurts… the heart. But, on a positive note, I have become much closer to some other friends over this time as well and re-kindled friendships that are full of warmth, caring, love and support and those are qualities I need to surround myself with these days. Plus, the added bonus with most of my relationships now is that they don’t take place on-line! We meet up, call each other on the phone and hang out like the good old days BEFORE the internet! Yes, these friendships take a bit more effort by both parties and you need to be pro-active about them, but they are so much more rewarding. Besides, who wants to sit around and chat on Facebook when you can get together over brunch or a decadent piece of cheesecake anyway? Not me!

As I was writing this post the other day I found myself talking to one friend about it and she said she has never noticed a difference from me so she wasn’t really sure what I was talking about; I hadn’t changed in her eyes. I thought about it for a bit, and it’s true. It made me realize that some of the relationships I’ve built over the years have evolved into something a little extra special. While there may only be a few like this, they are more than I could ever ask for. I feel extremely lucky to have had these constants in my life.

So, in the end my circle may be getting a little smaller in some ways, but it is also getting stronger and that’s all that matters. I still believe that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime… but you just can’t predict who is there for which. And, I guess that works both ways as well because there are some people I just plan need a break from. Sometimes people change and forget to tell one another, and that’s ok!