Age is just a number, and in a couple of weeks my number will be 35. Normally age and numbers don’t really bother me all that much, but when you are TTC with PCOS and know that you require IVF/IVM you start looking at “35” from a statistical point of view… and then it hits you, I am turning 35! Success rates drop, risks of pregnancy loss and health issues increase, there is a higher chance of complications and premature babies, an increased possibility of having a c-section, and so on. So, not only is it already that much harder for us to conceive in the first place, but I get to have the added worries of multiple age related complications too… and yes, despite all of this, I am definitely still on board!
Seriously, my biological clock is no longer ticking… it’s screaming out and ringing the alarm bells and they are getting progressively louder!
It probably won’t happen tomorrow, and likely not the day after that, or even in the weeks to come… but somehow “35” is starting to seem like a good time for my own mini-midlife crisis!
I have held off on a lot of on silly things like changing my hair cut and color over the last few months, but now I just feel like there is no better time than the present to do something different, but what? I have watched people around me go through this year after year and I have to say, when done correctly they seem to genuinely enjoy themselves! I’m not going to go out and buy a corvette or do anything radically crazy but I do have an interesting bucket list with things like, oh, jumping out of a plane? Sure, there is calculated risk involved, but I could also get hit by a bus on the way to work tomorrow too if you think about it!
I have been in IVF/IVM preparation mode for months now and while part of me is trying to keep everything this way in the event that my clinic sorts themselves out any time in the near future, but the other part of me just wants to let go, let loose, and enjoy life (a little more) again!
What to do, what to do…
