Re-evaluating Friendships

Last year at this time I wrote an entry entitled “Facing Demons”. Not everybody knows or remembers what triggered that entry, and I don’t expect you to, but it was/is pretty clear that I was going through a rough patch and that I was struggling with certain things. But it is one year later and I am happy to say that, although it needed quite a bit of polishing, I was able to find a silver lining from that period of my life and that is why I am writing this follow-up now. I know that some of you do not understand how this has turned out to be positive, but trust me… it really has!

Have you ever had something happen in your life that caused you to re-evaluate your friendships? Something that made you realize that the people you thought were your true friends really weren’t that close after all? Sometimes people change and they turn out to be different than who you thought they were; and sometimes it’s just that you finally see them as they really are. Don’t get me wrong, it can be heartbreaking when you think you can count on someone and the minute you really need them they aren’t there for you… but it can also be a real eye-opener! And you know what? This might sound cliché, but more often than not it is their loss in the end!

Having been programmed from a very young age that the people you love and trust the most will also be the ones to hurt the worst, I have grown to be a pretty good judge of character. I have a decent read on people and I am meticulous about weeding out the “bad” early on. I am also very particular about whom I allow into my inner circle; even more so as I get older I have noticed. To some, it may sound as though my caution has left me with no one in my life but that is far from true. I have a pretty big circle of close, dependable, supportive, loving and caring friends and some of them have been in my life for as long as I can remember. However, I am only human and I have certainly made mistakes over the years as well. Sometimes, often through no fault of my own, I have missed or misinterpreted the warning signs that someone is “bad” or that someone “good” is no longer “good for me” and I have definitely been hurt by this – terribly. Thankfully I have also been fortunate enough to have the experience of someone, who I least expected to have my back, stand tall for me. It just goes to show that we never really know what people are made of; the people we expect to be there for us aren’t, and the ones we least expect (and wouldn't think to ask) open their arms to you. Oddly enough, last year this all happened at once.

So, I have taken this last year to re-evaluate the relationships I have with my friends. Some have certainly gone up a few notches while others have slid down a few, and unfortunately I can no longer consider some to be my friends at all. Honestly, we do not need a huge circle of friends, only a few who are loyal and who will be with us until the end - through good times and bad, through thick and thin – and that can be hard to come by. Quality is certainly more important than quantity when it comes to my friendships.

Below is a questionnaire I happened to find on-line recently which sums up the re-evaluating process extremely well. So well that I wish I would have found it a year ago! Anyhow, feel free to give it a go…

 7 Questions to reevaluate your friendships  

I have found that as I grow and mature, so do my friendships. That means that friends come into my life and move on so that others can find their way into my life. Instead of leaving this to ‘chance’, I decided to create intention around my friendship environment. I sat down and wrote out with much contemplation my response to the following questions: 

1. What does friendship mean to me now? 
2. What do I NO longer want to attract in my friendships? 
3. What do I want to attract in my friendships now? 
4. What have I not liked or has not been healthy for me in current or prior friendships? 
5. What have I liked or was healthy for me in current or prior friendships? 
6. What do I want in my Friendships now? W
7. What am I willing to be and to give as a friend? 

The resulting clarity I received by taking a few moments out of my busy life to answer these important questions naturally led to me attracting more of what I want, what is healthy for me, and what has me thrive instead of that which sucked me dry (blunt but true). It is okay for you to do the same. You are here to be in joy and to love your life.

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant."

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May Babies

If “April showers bring May flowers” and “friends are flowers in the garden of life”, then I am truly blessed with one awesome garden every year! And I don’t mean the one outside my house that I am planning to dig up!

From the end of April right up until the first week of June, there are so many birthdays to celebrate and I just wanted to take a minute and tell each and every one of you HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I hope that your special day is filled with love, laughter and hopefully some sinfully delicious cake too!

And, to my BFF… welcome to your “Forever 29”! Just think, while you are dreading it some of us are wishing we could be back there again so don’t be bummed – flaunt it! 

Dream Diary: A “Charmed” Sleep

For Christmas, DH got me the “Charmed” DVD box set. I watched this series when it was on TV and, while I agree it was/is cheesy, I love it! Since I have frequently been a work widow the past couple of  months I have been plowing through the series, sometimes watching 3-4 shows a day… and I think I'm having side effects. 

In a nutshell, the series is about the Halliwell sisters who are good witches known as “The Charmed Ones”. Each of them starts off with one power and over the series they gain others but I am not really there yet. Right now Prue’s main power is telekinesis, Piper can freeze things and Phoebe has premonitions and levitates. 

So, why do I think I have side effects? Because a couple of weeks ago my dreams were overrun by magic! In my dream I was sitting in my home office when someone burst through my front door and I could see who they were through a premonition. Then, I reacted by slamming my laptop shut through telekinesis, running to the top of the stairs, freezing the intruder and then kicking him in the head while levitating. And this dream came back night after night in bits and pieces (which is the usual for me)!

I am still watching the DVD’s… but not as many episodes per day now!

April Updates

Where has the time gone? April just flew by it seems… we are already in May! So, a quick update from April…

We were in NYC from April 2-5. It was a pretty good trip overall and I was able to get/do everything on my list… I just killed my feet, knees, and body in the process. I am not made to walk 100 blocks a day! And yes, I did take a lot of pictures, I just haven’t had time to post any of them yet so for those of you who have been asking, they should be up soon!

And, this last weekend from April 27-30 we were in Toronto for my BFF’s wedding reception (the one who got married in Jamaica a month ago). Lots of sleeping in and late nights! We also hit Red Lobster and Medieval Times while we were there so it was a pretty busy, but happy, weekend!

What’s planned for May? So far…. nothing!!! I will be a work widow again for about a week and a half, but other than that – peace and quiet! And I am not complaining! I need some down time.