I Did It! I Quit! Yay Me!

Although I never smoked much, many of you know that I have had a long time battle with myself to quit over the years with many broken promises to myself and others. In my teens I experimented, but I was never a "smoker". Around 2002, after a couple of really bad years in my life, I started smoking socially and it just built up from there. Most smokers I know smoke a pack a day or more but even at my worst I only smoked a pack a week. But, a pack a week was a pack a week and I knew that it was time to change; no more excuses.

In the past, I have tried a "quit smoking program" through work, the gum, the lozenges, and I even went cold turkey a number of times... and I assure you that I have quit before! I have quit many, many, many times but only for a short while each. I think it's true that you can get addicted to quitting at times!

Last November, knowing that I would soon be starting IVM, I made a promise to myself that I would HAVE to quit, no questions asked. Initially, I simply stopped buying cigarettes and for a month or so I would just smoke socially with friends. But, I quickly realized that even that was not enough and I needed to do more. So, this time, rather than telling everyone and having them shake their head at me a month later if and when I failed, I decided not to tell a soul (other than some of smokers I would mooch from so that they would stop giving me cigarettes). This was something that I had to do on my own and for myself. I felt as though I needed to prove to myself that I could do it this time before I would be confident enough to tell everyone.

On December 21st (2010), after about a month of smoking only 1-2 cigarettes a week, I had my last cigarette! And, even then, I only smoked half because it just felt wrong. I have not had even one since, I am rarely around second hand smoke anymore, and I really don't miss it in the least! Even going away, I thought it would be torture because I am so used to smoking when we go south, but it wasn't. Ok, so, being sick helped with that tremendously but who cares! It worked! I went away and came back completely smoke free - aside from far too much second hand smoke but that was out of my control.

So, I am now happy to announce that I am officially 2 months smoke free! Cheers to me for many more!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.   Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older and, there on television, she said it was 'exciting...' 

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day.....like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou also said this:

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back...'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn...'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Cuba Trip - January 29 to February 5, 2011

The first question everyone seems to ask me is why Cuba and not my beloved Dominican Republic this year? Well, for one, DH wanted a change of pace so it was either Mexico or Cuba. Secondly, some family had just returned from this resort in Cuba so we knew exactly what we were getting and with no time to research it just made life easier. 

Now, maybe it’s just me but in some ways it seems like our trip to Cuba was cursed the minute I booked it! However, in the end, I have to say that everything was pretty good and should I ever go back to Cuba I will definitely stay at this resort again and I would recommend it to anyone of any age as well. It had something for everyone! 

The curse: About 4 days after booking the trip, I was looking into prices for someone else and found that had I waited just a little longer I could have saved 300$ each!!! I had only booked 8 days in advance so I didn’t think the price would have changed that much at that point. Then, 3 days before leaving I caught one of my dreaded sinus/ear/throat infections and had to get antibiotics the morning before we left because I was in so much pain! In addition, the day before that I took a chunk out of my ankle shaving and DH burnt his hand on the stove burner. Anything that could have gone wrong before the trip went wrong! Then, to make matters worse, our flight was delayed leaving for Cuba and I needed to take my antibiotics so I took them… without food. About an hour later, dinner was served on the plane and after just 1 bite I thought I was going to throw up. I managed to control it for a little while but then I had to race to the bathroom and there went a day’s worth of food and antibiotics! I don’t know if there is a mile high club for vomiting on an airplane, but if there is, I don’t suggest any of you join it!!! It was an awful experience. To make matters worse, after landing in Cuba we had to wait 2 hours for our luggage! We finally arrived at our resort around 3am! Very, very, long day….

Air Transat: I know that we have flown Air Transat before, but for some reason this trip was much more enjoyable. The seats were leather, large and comfy. I got to pre-select my seats so I took the window and DH got the aisle next to me so that was nice. The plane going was 2 seats, aisle, 4 seats, aisle, and then 2 more seats. On the way home the plane was 3 seats, aisle, 3 seats, aisle, 3 seats and we got lucky! We got a whole section to ourselves. We got to sleep in peace!

The hotel: Iberostar Laguna Azul - simply gorgeous. I have seen many pictures on-line and none of them really show just how grand this place looks. Just driving up the road to it I was in awe. It looks like a large villa in Spain. Clean, spacious, multiple pools, long and clean beach, chairs galore by the water, nice landscaping, you name it! If you want to see pictures just ask! I haven’t had a chance to post any yet.

The rooms: Large, clean, lots of hot water and good pressure, plenty of towels left by the maids, and even joining rooms if you want them! The only thing that I didn’t like was that our room, 16319, is on the same floor as the main lobby and elevators. This was very convenient, but also very LOUD at 2am when people are leaving the club and at 7am when people are checking out. The view was great though and the central location of the room was good, but I would rather be a floor up or down in future.

Food and drink: Drink – no complaints. Food – you won’t starve but you won’t be going back for seconds either, unless you are at the a la carte restaurants! The breakfast buffet had your standard omelet bar, pancake station, fruits, etc… but I found their bacon disgusting. It was mostly fatty and undercooked. Their lunch buffets remain pretty consistent but you have a couple to choose from. I found that lunch became more of a “snack” to tide me over until dinner. Dinner was odd. The buffet was not very good at all in my opinion; tough meat, not much selection, and often undercooked. But, the a la carte restaurants were so could I would have paid extra for them! We took our standard 3 reservations and after 2 nights of those I could not face the buffet again so we went to an a la carte and asked if they had room and they seated us with no problems. If I go back, I am hitting the restaurants every day! Now, for the restaurants… we ate at the steak house and had perfectly cooked and tender meat with a nice quiet atmosphere outdoors by one of the quiet pools. I hadn’t eaten much for 2 days at this point so it was heavenly. The following night we went to the Cuban restaurant for some lobster. Not the same lobster I am used to from home but still quite good. The next night we snuck into the Romantico and I had some really great lamb. Very good! And on the last night we tried the Japanese restaurant everyone had been talking about on tripadvisor – and I have to say that while the food was good, the show was awful. For anyone who has ever been to proper Japanese restaurants the show is really dreadful and laughable, but for those who have not been it’s a nice introduction I guess. 

The entertainment: The first 2 nights had singing and dancing shows and I have had just about my fill of those over the years so I was preparing for the worst… but then things just got better and better all week! My only complaint has nothing to do with the entertainment – it’s the guests. I understand that we are in Cuba, the land of cigars…. But in a mostly closed in venue with kids and bad air circulation, do NOT light a cigar! I was sick the week we were in Cuba and had to carry my asthma pump with me everywhere because of the inconsiderate smokers. I have to say that this is not something I have ever experienced before when travelling to DR so this took me by surprise. The other thing that bothers me about Cuba is that there really isn’t much to do at all off the resort. I had thought about the Catamaran but not for 100$+! 

What to buy and where to buy it: Alcohol, cigarettes, and cigars along with the regular souvenir stuff are pretty much equally priced on the resort as it is at the airport and anywhere else from what I saw/heard. The only thing we were unable to get at the resort was coffee oddly and we had to grab that in the airport itself. We did not bother going into Varadero for the day as there was really only shopping to do there and we weren’t interested. Oh, and interesting point… you can buy Prozac, Valium, and Viagra at the airport!

So, that’s it. I would definitely recommend it if you just want to relax, travel with family or a large group of friends… but as another “just the 2 of us” trip I would have to say DR still holds my heart! So much more to see and do and they know how to cook!

Creating My Monster – 1 Year Anniversary and Updates

One year ago today I started this blog about my journey TTC with PCOS. I had hoped to have better news to share by now but unfortunately things have not worked out as we had hoped for.

For those of you who do not already know, Round 2 (IVM) was not successful. I had a strong feeling that it hadn’t taken but went in for my blood test on Jan 15th to confirm. I met with my doctor on January 18th and now have a better understanding as to why it didn’t work. Basically, they believe it came down to embryo quality – not anything that I did wrong (I have to keep telling myself that).

There are 3 grades of usable embryos from what I understand: Grade 1 which has never been seen in the lab, Grade 2 which is the best quality to hope for through IVF/IVM, and Grade 3 which are acceptable but have a lesser chance of success. Any embryo that is lower than a grade 3 is considered unusable, and in my case they had to discard 2/6 that were of lower quality. In January they transferred two Grade 3 embryos in hopes that at least one of them would implant despite their lower quality, but neither did. However, the two embryos that I was able to freeze are Grade 2 quality and have a much higher success rate in thawing as well as transferring so we remain hopeful, at least for now!

No decision has been made as to how many embryos will be transferred the next time, but we already have a date set for Round 3 (IVM). Unfortunately, as the hospital is heavily overbooked we were not able to start again right away, but that gave us the chance to go to Cuba! It was a last minute decision with only a week of preparation and very little research (very abnormal for me) but it was needed! We just got back so I will post more about the trip later on! As for Round 3 (IVM), I have decided to keep things a little less public this time around because it made the failure of the last round really hard for us to handle. Too many people knew the exact time I would be finding out if if had worked or not and that meant a lot of phone calls to make at a time when we really didn't want to talk to anybody and share our bad news. This time, a few people will know but even then, I am not sure in how much detail. Once we get the news, good or bad, it will give us some time to process things for ourselves before sharing with others. And hopefully it will be good news this time around!!!

Now, I think this post needs a bit of uplifting news, don't you?

Well, last but certainly not least, I am thrilled to announce that I am going to be an aunt this May! I have known since late November and have told a few people, but I had decided a while ago to wait until this post to let everyone know regardless of our own news (or lack of)! I just hope that I get to give my niece or nephew a little cousin soon!